It was 2014 and my guitarist James Wiseman and I went over to my Nanny Bennett’s, to play her some music.

Standing in front of her, by her bed, for the first time in a very long time, we saw her smile.

Nanny Bennett was my dad’s mum and she had been living with vascular dementia. Her disease had taken away her ability to move or talk, so we were overwhelmed with happiness to see her smile.

She had always been a big lover of music and very supportive of mine, and just then, I knew that against all odds, she remembered and felt happy.

Two years before this, I had lost my Nanny Martin, from my mum’s side, from vascular dementia. Dementia became a huge part of my family’s life and the devastation from it is staggering.

Nanny Martin was an amazing Nan – she was kind and strong. She brought up my Mum and her four brothers – five kids overall. She was the helm of the household while my grandad worked, and then went back to work herself. She was a chatty, kind and beautiful woman who wore lovely outfits and I still wear her shoes now.

In 2003 when I was 12, I spent a month living with my grandparents while I was doing a show at the London Palladium and we had such a special time together. I remember baking with her – she loved making bread and butter pudding, apple pies and she would always have choc ices in the freezer for me.

We would move from the kitchen to the living room, dancing, and she would ask me to ‘do a little twirl’ for her.

I would spin around on the rug in the middle of the living room, and we would watch old fashioned western movies under the duvet on the sofa. These were beautiful times that I will never forget.

I used to play with my nan and grandad’s record player and dance around to old records I’d find. They used to do ballroom dancing, and were huge fans of music – my grandad even made an appearance on the TV during my time in Strictly because of that and he said he was the talk of his local golf club!

I was already recording music when I was a teenager, and my entire family was so supportive. But Nanny Martin’s memory was already beginning to go.

We noticed that she also began telling stories that weren’t true, like ones about people cooking downstairs – but they were living in a bungalow.

By the time I turned 18, I released my first single Mama Do, but unfortunately Nanny Martin already had dementia quite badly by then. She always cheered me on coming to all my early shows before she had dementia so I think she would have loved joining in on the antics once I started releasing my own music.

The thing that we weren’t prepared for was to see how her personality completely changed and turn to the opposite of her character.

It was hard to adjust, but as a family, we pulled together and were there for her and my grandad, who was very strong for her. It was important we enjoyed the little moments that we had while she was still with us. Nanny Martin passed away peacefully in 2014.

At first, I didn’t know what to do with all the memories but my sister Charlie, our mum and I talked through them all and I wrote them into a song with my songwriter friends Jerry and Andrew called Cry and Smile for my third album.

During this time, my Nanny Bennett was dealing with dementia also. She was a huge fan of the Beatles, and she always had Capital Gold radio station playing in her house.

I remember playing her my first singles and getting her opinion while we had tea and biscuits from tins at her house. She loved listening to all of the songs I released for my first album and her favourite was Cry Me Out.

She was a strong and opinionated woman, always fighting for justice and loved her family fiercely.

That’s why years later, my guitarist James and I went over to Nanny Bennett’s to play her some music.

I knew about the effect music has on people with dementia, and studies have shown that music therapy can help reignite memories or create connections with people living with the condition.

But I didn’t expect such a strong reaction, and I’m glad it resonated so much.

We watched her change just like my Nanny Martin and she kept going back to thinking Dad and his siblings were young again and also an opposite change in her character. It was devastating to see.

I have since become an ambassador for Alzheimer’s Research UK – losing two of my nans to dementia was hard, but it doesn’t mean I can’t help others.

Along with my family, we raised funds doing charity football matches, organised by Uncle Rick from my dad’s side. It was all his idea and it was really brilliant. It gets the whole family together – and even though I don’t have a clue what I’m doing on the pitch – we managed to raise lots for Alzheimer’s Research UK. 

Uncle Rick also ran the London Marathon for Alzheimer’s Research UK, blasting out my nan’s song Everybody’s Talkin’ by Harry Nilsson and we all went along to support, of course. I’ve also dedicated some open mic nights at my local pub that I ran with my best friend Jocee, to help raise more.

It’s a really heartbreaking thing to go through, and dementia affects nearly one million people in the UK right now, which is a lot.

It’s an important cause, and if there’s anything we can do to bring that number down we have to as it’s something we will all experience in some way or another.

Without that sounding cliché, seeing family members face dementia gives you a new perspective on life. You realise just how important time is, and that life is so short.

I think making memories with family is the most important thing you can do in life. A love like that lasts forever.

Remember, that every moment counts and means so much and leaves a lasting impact. The best thing we have in life is each other and family, so you want to hold on to that with all you can.

As told to Sharan Dhaliwal and Nicole Vassell

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

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