{"id":7744,"date":"2025-11-02T14:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-11-02T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/?p=7744"},"modified":"2025-11-05T21:35:04","modified_gmt":"2025-11-05T21:35:04","slug":"doctors-didnt-take-me-seriously-until-my-white-male-partner-came-with-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/2025\/11\/02\/doctors-didnt-take-me-seriously-until-my-white-male-partner-came-with-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Doctors didn\u2019t take me seriously \u2013 until my white male partner came with me"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n\t\t\"Dahaba\t<\/div>
I want to be seen, heard and treated, explains Dahaba (Picture: Dahaba Ali Hussen)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u2018Well, you\u2019re not going to bleed to death, are you?\u2019 the doctor in A&E<\/a> said to <\/strong>me. <\/p>\n

I was dumbfounded.<\/p>\n

Earlier that day, doubled over in unimaginable pain, I had decided to finally attend A&E. This was a really difficult decision to make, because I was afraid of not being listened to. <\/p>\n

I gripped the plastic seat as I tried to even out my voice, before I responded: \u2018Are you even going to examine me?\u2019, gesturing towards my bloated stomach.<\/p>\n

\u2018You\u2019ll have to wait to be referred for a scan by your GP,\u2019 the doctor responded.<\/p>\n

I was sent home without being fully examined. <\/strong>I didn\u2019t have any blood tests done, or even get my blood pressure read. <\/p>\n

It seemed like as soon as the doctor determined it was a women\u2019s health<\/a> issue, he told me I would need a gynaecologist<\/a>, and that was that. It wasn\u2019t worth investigating. My pain did not matter.<\/p>\n

My symptoms started in March this year. Before that, I\u2019d wake up at 5am and have early morning exercise sessions followed by a high-protein meal and a productive work block.<\/p>\n

But since spring, I had barely been able to get out of bed, experiencing various horrible symptoms like extreme fatigue<\/a> and painful bloating<\/a>, to the point where my jeans no longer fit. <\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Dahaba\t<\/div>
I was sleeping around 14 hours a day and in non-stop pain (Picture: Dahaba Ali Hussen)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Everything came to a head in September after a friend\u2019s wedding<\/a> in France. When my fianc\u00e9 and I arrived back in the UK, I could barely climb the stairs to our flat. I felt broken.<\/p>\n

I went to the GP, and they sent me for a whole bunch of blood tests which came back inconclusive so I decided to call the GP again and ask for help.<\/p>\n

At this point, I was sleeping around 14 hours a day and in non-stop pain.<\/p>\n

Sadly, the GP was dismissive, asking me what more I wanted to happen? I was confused and upset. I want to be seen, heard and treated. <\/p>\n

I went for that first A&E visit a week later, when my symptoms worsened and I couldn’t stand to be in pain any longer. After I was dismissed from the hospital without being examined, I felt hopeless. <\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Dahaba\t<\/div>
With my white male partner there, the doctor was more sympathetic to my case (Picture: Dahaba Ali Hussen)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Later that week, my symptoms and distended stomach had worsened considerably, so my fianc\u00e9 and I took a second trip to A&E (he hadn\u2019t been able to come with me the first time because he\u2019d been working outside of London<\/a>). <\/p>\n

The difference was astounding.<\/p>\n

With my white male partner there, corroborating what I was saying, the doctor felt more receptive and was even more sympathetic to my case as my fianc\u00e9 spoke for me. Things like emergency blood tests were actually done. <\/p>\n

I was still told to wait for a gynaecological scan. In the meantime, I had to live with my symptoms and reduced quality of life.<\/p>\n

I spent weeks living with extreme symptoms like nausea and no word from my doctors about my scan. That, <\/strong>coupled with a downward turn in my mental health<\/a> where I felt increasingly low and apathetic, made me come to the decision to seek private healthcare.<\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Dahaba\t<\/div>
It has long been documented that Black women\u2019s health is under-researched and that our symptoms can be treated less seriously than our white counterparts (Picture: Dahaba Ali Hussen)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I needed answers and I needed them quickly. Thankfully, I was in the fortunate position where I was able to pay for private healthcare and within a week I had a diagnosis, an issue with my uterus, and a treatment plan. <\/p>\n

The doctors who finally diagnosed me felt like they were in less of a rush. They made me feel like I was actually being listened to. <\/p>\n

Finally I was able to have an actual conversation with a doctor where I could voice my health concerns. I was in a space where my worries were received and heard.<\/p>\n

Within a couple of weeks, I felt dramatically better. I could feel my mood changing as my physical symptoms started to dissipate and then disappear. I slowly went back to work and started feeling more like myself. <\/p>\n

I had the means to afford private healthcare, but many women cannot. We shouldn\u2019t have to pay to be heard.<\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Dahaba\t<\/div>
No Black woman should have to prove her pain just to receive care (Picture: Dahaba Ali Hussen)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

It has long been documented that Black women\u2019s health<\/a> is under-researched and that our symptoms can be treated less seriously than our white counterparts. Studies suggest stark inequalities in diagnosis, treatment and aftercare. <\/p>\n

As a Black woman, I think a lot about how I present \u2013 that is, how others perceive me in certain situations based on how I dress and act.<\/p>\n

Often when I go for GP appointments, I\u2019m unwell and in a tracksuit. That, coupled with my gender and race, makes me wonder whether healthcare professionals will take my pain seriously.<\/p>\n

I definitely don\u2019t think they took it seriously on this occasion. While I\u2019m thankful to have my long-awaited diagnosis, my experience in not being believed was fraught and upsetting.<\/p>\n

I do believe awareness of racial bias<\/a> in the medical field is growing, with calls for greater representation in medical textbooks, for example. But I don\u2019t think this is enough: we need more acknowledgement from authorities of discrimination and prejudice, and we need to take action to tackle it.<\/p>\n

At the end of the day, there needs to be better education about biases, representation and empathy in women\u2019s healthcare \u2013 because no woman should have to fight to be believed.<\/p>\n

And no Black woman should have to prove her pain just to receive care. Let alone bring in a white man to back them up.<\/p>\n

Do you have a story you\u2019d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk<\/a>.<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Share your views in the comments below.<\/strong><\/p>\n


\n\t\t\tComment now<\/title><\/span><br \/>\n\t\t\t<span class=\"share-bar-comments__label\">Comments<\/span><br \/>\n\t\t<\/a><a class=\"metro-button share-bar-preferred-source\" data-vars-position=\"bottom\" href=\"https:\/\/google.com\/preferences\/source?q=https:\/\/metro.co.uk\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><br \/>\n\t\t\t\t<span><title>Add Metro as a Preferred Source on Google<\/title><\/span><br \/>\n\t\t\t\t<span class=\"share-bar-preferred-source__label\">Add as preferred source<\/span><br \/>\n\t\t\t<\/a><\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I want to be seen, heard and treated, explains Dahaba (Picture: Dahaba Ali Hussen) \u2018Well, you\u2019re not going to bleed to death, are you?\u2019 the doctor in A&E said to me.  I was dumbfounded. Earlier that day, doubled over in unimaginable pain, I had decided to finally attend A&E. This was a really difficult decision […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7746,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7744"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7744"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7744\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7752,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7744\/revisions\/7752"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7746"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7744"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7744"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7744"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}