{"id":7435,"date":"2025-10-21T12:40:19","date_gmt":"2025-10-21T12:40:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/?p=7435"},"modified":"2025-10-29T21:34:04","modified_gmt":"2025-10-29T21:34:04","slug":"what-really-happens-when-youre-dying-according-to-an-end-of-life-expert","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/2025\/10\/21\/what-really-happens-when-youre-dying-according-to-an-end-of-life-expert\/","title":{"rendered":"What really happens when you\u2019re dying, according to an end of life expert"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Death<\/a> is inevitable. It comes to us all, and just like giving birth, it’s a natural process of life. However, unlike<\/em> birth, there are no ‘classes’ to prepare you for death \u2014 no rule book or tutorial that can set you up for the inescapable. So, it\u2019s understandable that people fear it or want to side-step a discussion on the topic. But the reality is that death and the dying process are things that need to be spoken about, both to help the person who is dying and their loved ones deal with the situation (Picture: Marie Curie UK)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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‘We\u2019ve always said that we need to change the conversation around dying,’ Sarah Holmes, Chief Medical Officer at end of life charity Marie Curie UK<\/a>, tells Metro<\/strong>. ‘There\u2019s a sense that people don\u2019t want to talk about it,’ she adds, comparing death to the good old British belief system that if we don’t talk about something, it means that it’s not really happening. ‘When someone says they\u2019re having a baby, everyone wants to talk about it. When someone says they\u2019re dying, people go quiet. We want to change that \u2014 and we\u2019re here for both patients and families’ (Picture: Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Here, Holmes explains the process of dying, from what physically happens to our bodies at the end of life to recognising the emotional stages. Ultimately, Holmes hopes that by engaging in open, honest conversations, we can remove the stigma around death and enjoy life until our very last breaths (Picture: Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

What happens physically at the end of life<\/h2>\n
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According to Holmes, there isn’t a strict order for death. From a hospice perspective, it’s different for everyone, depending on their illness. However, the last organs to stop are usually the brain, lungs, and heart. ‘As the body slows down, people become more tired and sleep more. They eat and drink less as the digestive system begins to shut down,’ explains Holmes. Circulation also slows, which changes skin colour and temperature (Picture: Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

What happens physically at the end of life<\/h2>\n
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Breathing patterns may become irregular \u2014 sometimes fast, followed by long pauses. People often think someone has taken their last breath, and then they breathe again. It\u2019s all part of the body\u2019s natural rhythm. The heart also slows down, and the skin can become pale or cool. Holmes says: ‘Eventually, the breathing and heartbeat stop, followed by the brain. It\u2019s usually a very peaceful process. In most cases, people simply slip away’ (Picture: Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

What happens physically at the end of life<\/h2>\n
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The very last phase \u2014 the changes in breathing and circulation \u2014 usually happen over a few hours or days, rarely lasting longer than a week, Holmes adds. However, she says that the gradual decline can take weeks or months, with people sleeping more and having less energy. ‘I often remind families that palliative care is about living, not dying. Dying itself is short. Just like birth, the act of leaving the world is as brief as coming into it’ (Picture: Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Acceptance and emotional stages<\/h2>\n
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‘One of the most important parts of end-of-life care is helping people and their families come to terms with it,’ says Holmes. Everyone is different in their journey to death. While some will have accepted their fate by the time they reach hospice care (typically older patients who have had a ‘good innings’), others still struggle to come to terms with their reality. The role of palliative care is to control symptoms and encourage people to make plans. This way, when these things are taken care of, people can focus on living right until the very end \u2014 saying what they want to say, doing what matters to them. ‘It\u2019s often harder when there are unresolved emotions or unfinished business. Some people are at peace; others still struggle to let go,’ says Holmes (Picture: Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The emotional journey<\/h2>\n
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Emotionally, people who are dying \u2014 along with those around them \u2014 experience feelings similar to grief. People might experience denial, anger, sadness, or acceptance, though not everyone goes through every stage, notes Holmes. ‘Our role is to support them through whatever they\u2019re feeling. Some prefer not to talk about dying at all \u2014 and that\u2019s okay. It\u2019s a coping mechanism. Others want to plan and talk openly. Many use that time to tell loved ones how they feel \u2014 to express love, say sorry, or make peace’ (Picture: Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Supporting the dying<\/h2>\n
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Talking about death is one of the best ways to help anyone through it. A hundred years ago, everyone saw death up close. It was part of daily life. Now it often happens in hospitals, away from view. ‘If we can make it normal to talk about death again, that helps people feel less alone,’ says Holmes. ‘Don\u2019t avoid someone who\u2019s dying out of fear of saying the wrong thing. What they need most is presence \u2014 someone willing to sit with them’ (Picture: Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Supporting the dying<\/h2>\n
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Holmes recalls working with a chaplain who compared death to the sun: it\u2019s always there, but we don\u2019t stare at it all the time. ‘It\u2019s the same for people who are dying. They don\u2019t always want to talk about it, but when they do, we should be ready.’ She also references Kathryn Mannix, a former palliative care doctor, who described these conversations as a dance. ‘Sometimes we step on toes, but that\u2019s okay. You just apologise and keep going’ (Picture: Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Why death is nothing to fear<\/h2>\n
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‘It\u2019s a completely natural process \u2014 the only certainty in life, says Holmes. ‘Talking about it doesn\u2019t make it happen. Being open and prepared makes it easier for everyone. Palliative care helps people live right up to the end, so dying isn\u2019t long or frightening. It\u2019s simply part of living.’ <\/p>\n

Marie Curie\u2019s free support line (0800 090 2309) and online resources are available to anyone requiring information and support relating to terminal illness, dying, death and bereavement. You can find out more\u00a0here<\/a><\/em> (Picture: Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n


\n\t\t\t\tAdd Metro as a Preferred Source on Google<\/title><\/span><br \/>\n\t\t\t\t<span class=\"share-bar-preferred-source__label\">Add as preferred source<\/span><br \/>\n\t\t\t<\/a><\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Death is inevitable. It comes to us all, and just like giving birth, it’s a natural process of life. However, unlike birth, there are no ‘classes’ to prepare you for death \u2014 no rule book or tutorial that can set you up for the inescapable. So, it\u2019s understandable that people fear it or want to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7437,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7435"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7435"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7435\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7449,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7435\/revisions\/7449"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7437"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7435"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7435"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7435"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}