{"id":6770,"date":"2025-10-15T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-10-15T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/?p=6770"},"modified":"2025-10-15T21:34:10","modified_gmt":"2025-10-15T21:34:10","slug":"i-was-just-14-when-i-first-spotted-the-signs-of-my-dads-dementia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/2025\/10\/15\/i-was-just-14-when-i-first-spotted-the-signs-of-my-dads-dementia\/","title":{"rendered":"I was just 14 when I first spotted the signs of my dad\u2019s dementia"},"content":{"rendered":"
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When Ollie’s dad was diagnosed with early-onset dementia at the age of 55, his life changed forever (Picture: Supplied)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

When Ollie Ruscoe was growing up, his dad<\/a> Simon had been very hands-on.<\/p>\n

The pair loved playing football<\/a> in the garden or going swimming together, and Simon was always there for his son whenever he needed him – whether it was for a lift or a chat. <\/p>\n

However, over the past decade, that relationship has reversed, and Ollie has stepped into a caregiving role years before his time.<\/p>\n

The first signs that something was seriously wrong appeared 10 years ago when the Ruscoe family were out picking up a new sofa for Ollie\u2019s room.<\/p>\n

Simon was driving<\/a> while mum Emma, was in the front reading the route.<\/p>\n

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Simon was a very hands-on dad whole Ollie and brother Alex were growing up (Picture: Supplied)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u2018She told him to take the next left three times and he kept getting it wrong. That\u2019s when I knew something was up. He was normally really good with directions,\u2019 Ollie, now 24, remembers. <\/p>\n

\u2018It was hard. His personality changed. He became really quiet and stopped going out with friends<\/a> or to football. And he had all these made-up phrases he\u2019d use – then he just stopped saying them. I didn\u2019t fully understand it at the time, but looking back, I can\u2019t believe I didn\u2019t see it sooner.\u2019<\/p>\n

Emma had already been spotting the signs for months. Once confident and capable around the house, one day Simon picked up a drill to hang a picture<\/a> and stared at it blankly, as though he\u2019d never seen one before.<\/p>\n

\u2018I remember once we were nearly in a crash<\/a> because he didn\u2019t stop at a junction,\u2019 Ollie tells Metro<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

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Ollie remembers the times when his dad would make him laugh before his diagnosis (Picture: Supplied)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Simon became forgetful, arguments at home increased and in 2018, a psychologist blamed stress. In January, 2020, Simon was finally diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer\u2019s at the age of just 55.<\/p>\n

It was a heartbreaking blow to the family. When Emma told Ollie the news, he went quiet; he didn’t know what Alzheimer’s was or what the implications were.<\/p>\n

Today, Ollie lives with his parents in Solihull<\/a> and works full time as an office administrator. The family follows a strict timetable to ensure Simon is never alone. His older brother Alex, 28<\/strong>, helps out frequently as he lives ten minutes drive away, and during the day, their dad attends a care centre. But outside of that, dementia dictates the rhythm of their lives.<\/p>\n

The family can\u2019t all go out at the same time, and Ollie frequently misses out on last-minute pub trips<\/a> or spontaneous invites – the stuff people in their twenties usually take for granted.<\/p>\n

\u2018There\u2019s a lot of sacrifice, and it can be hard. But I know some people have it worse,\u2019 Ollie says.<\/p>\n

Recently,Simon\u2019s decline has accelerated. He no longer speaks, though he still laughs and responds when people talk to him. The most difficult moments are when he becomes aggressive, a common symptom of the disease.<\/p>\n

\u2018You can\u2019t have a conversation. He can walk and pick things up, but he won\u2019t remember doing it. At weekends we watch football, and in summer<\/a> we sit outside with the dog<\/a>. Winter\u2019s harder when we\u2019re stuck indoors,\u2019 explains Ollie.<\/p>\n

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Simon’s quickly went from being active and sociable to reserved and quiet (Picture: Supplied)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u2018We do everything for him now: dressing, showering, going to the toilet, making a cup of tea. He can\u2019t even make himself a drink. But he\u2019s happy – you can tell he\u2019s happy. That makes it worth it.<\/p>\n

\u2018Even if it\u2019s just little things like when he\u2019s falling asleep in the car<\/a> after I\u2019ve picked him up from the care home<\/a>. I know I\u2019ve brought him home safely and he trusts me.\u2019<\/p>\n

The disease has been unpredictable and though the family have tried to fill recent years with trips away<\/a> and fun events, it\u2019s been incredibly difficult for Emma and her sons.<\/p>\n

\u2018You never know what\u2019s coming. Day to day feels normal, but when you look back, you realise how much you\u2019ve lost,\u2019 adds Ollie. \u2018When he was first diagnosed, he could walk around a buffet on holiday<\/a> in Mexico<\/a>. Now I couldn\u2019t imagine that.\u2019<\/p>\n

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The family made the most of the years when Simon could travel abroad after his diagnosis (Picture: Supplied)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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\n\t\t\t\tKeep up with the conversations shaping Britain\t\t\t<\/h2>\n
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Hi, I\u2019m Claie Wilson, Metro\u2019s deputy editor.<\/strong><\/p>\n

At Metro, we\u2019re passionate about giving a platform to unheard voices. You can read more real-life stories like this one with our\u00a0New<\/a>s<\/a>\u00a0Updates newsletter<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

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I’ve worked in journalism for 30 years<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/p>\n

We help people from all walks of life tell stories that inspire, educate and spark change.\u00a0Sign up now<\/a><\/strong> to read them.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

Ollie lists the milestones missed: his first legal pint in a pub<\/a> with his dad, learning to drive with him, going to football games – and just chatting. \u2018It\u2019s the talking and the laughs I miss most\u2019, he says sadly.<\/p>\n

Still, Simon recognises him. He laughs, hugs, and lights up around people.<\/p>\n

Ollie admits it’s been hard watching his mum struggle. And, at first, seeing his friends with their parents in good health was really tough, but they have been a good support to him and always understand why he may have to cancel social plans or miss out on important events.<\/p>\n

This month, Ollie and family friend Jimmy are running 48 miles in 48 hours around Solihull to raise money for Alzheimer\u2019s Society<\/a>, in honour of Simon, who was always the first to go the extra mile for others.<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m trying to run as far as I can on Friday 24 October, then all day Saturday, sticking to normal eating and sleeping. On Sunday 26, we\u2019ll finish at a restaurant we always go to, with friends, family, and Dad will be there to meet me,\u2019 Ollie says.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a poignant date – Sunday will be Simon\u2019s birthday<\/a> and the timing marks ten years since the family first spotted signs of change.<\/p>\n

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Ollie is running 48 miles in 48 hours to raise money for Alzheimer\u2019s Society (Picture: Supplied)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Ollie is new to running<\/a> – his longest distance so far is 15km – but that\u2019s part of the point, he says.<\/p>\n

\u2018I want it to be hard. Obviously, what my dad is going through is impossible to match, but I want it to be challenging.\u2019 He has raised over \u00a31,000 but is hoping to double this.<\/a> However, it\u2019s about more than fundraising, says Ollie.<\/p>\n

‘I\u2019m learning a lot more about dementia<\/a>. One in three people will be diagnosed with it. It\u2019s the biggest killer in the UK, and if Dad didn\u2019t have it, I wouldn\u2019t have known that. So I want to raise awareness.’<\/p>\n

Seeing his father every day sometimes masks how much he\u2019s changing. \u2018But when I look at old photos or think about holidays, it hits me. He\u2019s slipping away.\u2019<\/p>\n

Despite everything, Ollie has put his life on hold without complaint. Instead of moving in<\/a> with his partner Chloe, he\u2019s prioritising caring for his dad. Chloe, he says, has been hugely supportive.<\/p>\n

\u2018Dad was always there for me growing up, so I\u2019m glad to be here for him now,\u2019 adds Ollie. \u2018I wasn\u2019t given a choice – but I wouldn\u2019t change anything. I\u2019m treating him the way he taught me to treat others.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\n\t\t\t\tAlzheimer's and dementia: the facts\t\t\t<\/h2>\n
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The most common forms of dementia (symptoms of a decline in brain function) are Alzheimer\u2019s disease followed by vascular dementia.<\/p>\n

Alzheimer\u2019s is caused when plaques and tangles form in the brain making it increasingly hard for it to function properly. Early symptoms include forgetting recent events, struggling to remember words, becoming disorientated in familiar places and finding it difficult to concentrate.<\/p>\n

Common early symptoms of vascular dementia include problems making decisions or following a series of steps, such as cooking a meal; slower speed of thought and trouble sleeping. The condition can also cause significant mood changes and depression and make people behave completely out of character.<\/p>\n

Dementia is the UK\u2019s biggest killer \u2013 and one in three babies born today will develop dementia in their lifetime. The risk of developing both Alzheimer\u2019s and vascular dementia roughly doubles every five years from the age of 65. Women and men are affected equally. Diabetes, obesity, heart problems and high blood pressure all increase the risk.<\/p>\n

However, you can significantly reduce your chances of developing the diseases by leading a healthy lifestyle \u2013 not smoking or drinking to excess, eating a balanced diet and getting regular exercise. Keeping mentally and socially active is also beneficial.<\/p>\n

The third most common form of dementia \u2013 accounting for an estimated 20 per cent of cases \u2013 is Lewy body. With this condition, tiny clumps of protein appear in the brain\u2019s nerve cells, causing a range of issues including mood swings, problems processing thoughts, hallucinations, difficulty balancing and walking slowly. Although DLB (dementia with Lewy body) can affect people under 65, it is much more common as we age, affecting men and women equally.<\/p>\n

There is currently no cure for any of the forms of dementia. But getting an early diagnosis is very important in allowing you and your loved ones to access all the medical and social support available. If you are worried that you have any of the symptoms, your GP will be able to refer you to a specialist who can carry out a range of tests.<\/p>\n

If you are worried that yours or someone else\u2019s symptoms may be dementia, download the Alzheimer\u2019s Society<\/a> symptoms checklist, on alzheimers.org.uk; for more information or support on anything you\u2019ve read here, call our support line on 0333 150 3456 or visit our website.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

 Oliver Ruscoe is fundraising for Alzheimer’s Society<\/a><\/p>\n


\n\t\t\tComment now<\/title><\/span><br \/>\n\t\t\t<span class=\"share-bar-comments__label\">Comments<\/span><br \/>\n\t\t<\/a><a class=\"metro-button share-bar-preferred-source\" data-vars-position=\"bottom\" href=\"https:\/\/google.com\/preferences\/source?q=https:\/\/metro.co.uk\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><br \/>\n\t\t\t\t<span><title>Add Metro as a Preferred Source on Google<\/title><\/span><br \/>\n\t\t\t\t<span class=\"share-bar-preferred-source__label\">Add as preferred source<\/span><br \/>\n\t\t\t<\/a><\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When Ollie’s dad was diagnosed with early-onset dementia at the age of 55, his life changed forever (Picture: Supplied) When Ollie Ruscoe was growing up, his dad Simon had been very hands-on. The pair loved playing football in the garden or going swimming together, and Simon was always there for his son whenever he needed […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6772,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6770"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6770"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6770\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6780,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6770\/revisions\/6780"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6772"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6770"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6770"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6770"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}