{"id":6312,"date":"2025-10-02T10:26:47","date_gmt":"2025-10-02T10:26:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/?p=6312"},"modified":"2025-10-08T21:34:39","modified_gmt":"2025-10-08T21:34:39","slug":"i-had-to-overcome-shame-as-well-as-sickness-after-my-diagnosis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/2025\/10\/02\/i-had-to-overcome-shame-as-well-as-sickness-after-my-diagnosis\/","title":{"rendered":"I had to overcome shame as well as sickness after my diagnosis"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n\t\t\"Ryan\t<\/div>
My results came back and revealed that I was clear of everything except Hepatitis C (Picure: Koby Photography)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u2018Why me?\u2019 That was my first thought when I received the news that I\u2019d tested positive for Hepatitis C<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d vaguely heard of it, knew it was a virus<\/a> that affects the liver, is spread through blood-to-blood contact and that, if left untreated, it could be life-threatening. <\/p>\n

However, doctors reassured me that there was hope: it was traceable, treatable, and curable.<\/p>\n

With their help, I have had successful treatment, but it has been a long journey full of setbacks and soul-searching. <\/p>\n

When I first moved to London<\/a>, I discovered how dazzling and joyful the LGBTQ+ community could be \u2013 being in the heart of culture and inspiration it felt like anything could happen, which is why I never said no to an all night party at a club or flat share. I wanted to be amongst the celebrations.<\/p>\n

For many of us, however, there remained a dark side.<\/p>\n

Being queer in a new city <\/a>means that some people feel they have to bluff their way into circles of hedonism because they finally feel free \u2013 at least that was my experience.<\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Ryan\t<\/div>
One night, I ended up in the company of someone I wish I could forget (Picture: Brendan Hepworth)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

In the same breath as reminding my friends to hold onto their phones<\/a> and bags, I\u2019d put myself in precarious situations by partying or often going to extreme lengths to ensure the \u2018fun\u2019 never stopped.<\/p>\n

\n

\n\t\t\t\tJoin Metro's LGBTQ+ community on WhatsApp\t\t\t<\/h2>\n
\n

With thousands of members from all over the world, our vibrant LGBTQ+ WhatsApp channel<\/a> is a hub for all the latest news and important issues that face the LGBTQ+ community.<\/p>\n

Simply\u00a0click on this link<\/a><\/strong>, select \u2018Join Chat\u2019 and you\u2019re in! Don’t forget to turn on notifications!<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

Nights that began with a few drinks<\/a> often spiralled into sunrise, shots, and the hunt for the next party, which is how, one night, I ended up in the company of someone I wish I could forget.<\/p>\n

My memory of that night is fractured, but I know that what happened wasn\u2019t consensual. And when I woke up I knew something was wrong. I felt used, dirty, like something inside me had changed.<\/p>\n

For a while, a part of me wanted to bury what had happened, to forget the night and pretend like everything was OK. But a louder part kept saying I had to take care of myself. <\/p>\n

I started going to therapy<\/a> which became my safe space until, eventually, I was finally able to say the hardest words out loud: I\u2019d been abused<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Ryan\t<\/div>
My stomach dropped when my results came back (Picture: Koby Photography\/ Ian Kobylanski)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Being able to admit this allowed me to strip the shame away. It also reminded me that I had to look out for myself and that honesty led me to the clinic.<\/p>\n

I often tested with Sexual Health London (SHL) \u2013 a free and discreet online service for Londoners who would like to get themselves checked \u2013 as a precaution, but this time I had cause to be nervous. <\/p>\n

My stomach dropped when my results came back and revealed that I was clear of everything except Hepatitis C.<\/p>\n

Though I\u2019d had an STI <\/a>before I\u2019d mostly always had a clean bill of health<\/a>. To now contract a virus that is actually very rare to get through unprotected sex, was surreal and I felt so ashamed. The doctors were sure the incident of abuse was when transmission had occurred.<\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Ryan\t<\/div>
Each pill reminded me I was choosing myself (Picture: Koby Photography\/Ian Kobylanski)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

After being referred to the hospital for blood tests, I was told that, fortunately, it had been caught extremely early and with treatment it would only take a short course of medication to get back to good health. <\/p>\n

Even as recently as the late 2000s, treatment could take a year, involve painful injections, and leave people debilitated. But, thanks to a breakthrough in modern medicine in 2014, there is now a 95% success rate of being cured of Hepatitis C<\/a> in three months with tablets.<\/p>\n

For several weeks taking my tablets became a ritual of reclamation. Each pill reminded me I was choosing myself, building a stronger sense of responsibility and self-love. I also felt a responsibility to protect the community I love, too.<\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Ryan\t<\/div>
I hadn\u2019t stayed silent and because of that I was standing taller (Picture: Ian Kobylanski\/Koby Photography)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Friends were proud that I was taking care of myself and I reveled in the fact that every time I took my medication it felt like a victory over my abuser.<\/p>\n

And when I heard the words \u2018you\u2019re cured\u2019 two months later, I felt relief like I never had before.<\/p>\n

I had faced this head on: I\u2019d beaten the shame, I hadn\u2019t stayed silent and because of that I was standing taller and prouder.<\/p>\n

\n

\n\t\t\t\tThe Hepatitis C Trust\t\t\t<\/h2>\n
\n

Ryan Lanji is guest curating the Art on a Postcard Winter Auction in support of The Hepatitis C Trust. Bidding starts at just \u00a350 for each original postcard sized artwork and is open until 14 October via Givergy<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

Of course, successful treatment does not mean I am protected another Hepatitis C infection \u2013 I still need to protect myself as I would from any other sexually transmitted infection \u2013 but today, I\u2019m healthy and I rarely feel the need to speak about this chapter of my life.<\/p>\n

However, when I was invited to guest-curate Art on a Postcard\u2019s Winter Auction in aid of The Hepatitis C Trust (whose mission is to eradicate the virus by 2030) I knew it was time to share my story again.<\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Ryan\t<\/div>
I want my story to be a reminder that there is no shame in getting tested (Picture: Brendan Hepworth)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I\u2019m proud to be part of an auction that features incredible artists such as Sarah Maple and Sunil Gupta and is raising money for such a worthwhile cause, especially as the timing couldn\u2019t be more important.<\/p>\n

The UK has the chance to eliminate this virus in the next five years: England<\/a> has already met the WHO target for blood safety and the number of people living with chronic Hepatitis C in the country has fallen dramatically since 2015. <\/p>\n

But every person that gets tested brings us closer to eradicating the disease entirely.<\/p>\n

If nothing else, I want my story to be a reminder that there is no shame in getting tested, no matter what traumatic experiences may have led you to that point, and that it is actually an act of self-love.<\/p>\n

So, be safe. Be responsible. And get tested.<\/p>\n

Do you have a story you\u2019d like to share? Get in touch by emailing James.Besanvalle@metro.co.uk<\/a>.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Share your views in the comments below.<\/strong><\/p>\n


\n\t\t\tComment now<\/title><\/span><br \/>\n\t\t\t<span class=\"share-bar-comments__label\">Comments<\/span><br \/>\n\t\t<\/a><\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My results came back and revealed that I was clear of everything except Hepatitis C (Picure: Koby Photography) \u2018Why me?\u2019 That was my first thought when I received the news that I\u2019d tested positive for Hepatitis C. I\u2019d vaguely heard of it, knew it was a virus that affects the liver, is spread through blood-to-blood […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6314,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6312"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6312"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6312\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6321,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6312\/revisions\/6321"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6314"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6312"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6312"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6312"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}