{"id":532,"date":"2025-02-20T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-02-20T07:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/?p=532"},"modified":"2025-03-19T21:34:28","modified_gmt":"2025-03-19T21:34:28","slug":"i-couldnt-handle-my-work-life-balance-so-i-went-missing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/2025\/02\/20\/i-couldnt-handle-my-work-life-balance-so-i-went-missing\/","title":{"rendered":"I couldn\u2019t handle my work-life balance \u2013 so I went missing"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n\t\t\"Sarah\t<\/div>
‘What do you say when you\u2019ve gone AWOL for a day, your name and photo splashed across a missing person’s appeal?’ (Picture: Sarah Bones)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The police probably thought I was dead when they found me that day in April 2018. <\/p>\n

Tired of driving around aimlessly all day, I\u2019d pulled over into a layby and laid down for a nap in the car<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The next thing I knew, a policeman was knocking on the window. I heard him tell his colleague to stand back as he reached into his pocket, presumably for something to smash the window with.  <\/p>\n

I wound it down before he could, but I had no idea what to say.  <\/p>\n

After all, what do you say when you\u2019ve gone AWOL for a day, your name and photo splashed across local newspapers in a missing person\u2019s appeal<\/a>?<\/p>\n

The policemen asked if I was OK and I nodded, my eyes filling with tears of shame and embarrassment. <\/p>\n

They didn\u2019t ask why I’d gone missing \u2013 I wouldn\u2019t have been able to explain it anyway \u2013 and simply took me home in their police car.  <\/p>\n

Pulling up outside my house, I felt a mixture of emotions \u2013 anger at my husband Mark for reporting me missing (I\u2019d only been missing for the best part of a day), shame at how low I\u2019d sunk, and fear for the future. <\/p>\n

I know now that severe personal and professional burnout <\/a>led to that moment, but you don\u2019t always see it happening at the time. <\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Sarah\t<\/div>
I was relieved to hand in my notice and we moved house at the end of that month (Picture: Sarah Bones)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

My path to going missing began a year earlier. I\u2019d been promoted to the manager of a new department at the university where I worked. It was what I had been aiming for, but it meant a lot more responsibility and pressure. <\/p>\n

I rose to the challenge initially. I realised I enjoyed making important decisions and feeling like I was in a respected position, so I put my all into it. But when Mark and I decided to get married in December of that year, I soon found myself juggling work with wedding planning<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Add to all that raising two young children, you could say life was already pretty stressful.<\/p>\n

Soon we were also getting ready to apply for our eldest\u2019s primary school place and weknew our address would influence where he went. Mark and I wanted him to attend a school near where we both worked, so we realised we would have to move \u2013 and quickly. <\/p>\n

I\u2019d always considered myself a good multitasker, but suddenly the thought of managing a house move alongside my demanding job, the kids and wedding organisation filled me with dread. <\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Sarah\t<\/div>
I drove aimlessly around my local area all day (Picture: Sarah Bones)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

My days consisted of frantically ferrying the boys to and from nursery before and after work, followed by evenings of wedding planning and house hunting. I was mentally exhausted, but even when I finally went to bed, I couldn\u2019t sleep as my to-do list <\/a>raced constantly through my mind.<\/p>\n

After our wedding that December, some of the pressure lifted. Then we found the right house and prepared for the move. However, my nerves were still on edge.  <\/p>\n

My performance at work started to unravel and I became very defensive with colleagues, feeling like my abilities were constantly being questioned. As a result, a month after we were married, I was signed off work with stress<\/a> and depression.<\/p>\n

\n

\n\t\t\t\tSign up to this year's Metro Lifeline challenge\t\t\t<\/h2>\n
\n

Someone is reported missing every 90 seconds in the UK. That means life is lonely, scary and uncertain for 170,000 families every year. \u200b<\/p>\n

Missing People <\/a>is the only UK charity dedicated to reconnecting them and their loved ones and that’s why this year Metro <\/strong>is proudly supporting them for our 2025 Lifeline campaign.<\/p>\n

To help raise vital funds for the charity we would love you to join us on on 3 May for a 25km, 53km or 106km hike on the beautiful Isle of Wight.<\/p>\n

Registration starts at just \u00a315 with a fundraising minimum of \u00a3240 (25km) \/ \u00a3360 (58km). Alternatively, you can pay for your place and set your own fundraising target.<\/p>\n

Whether you want to do it as a group or are signing up solo, as part of Team Lifeline, you\u2019ll receive tons of support and advice, so that every step you take can make a massive difference helping those whose loved ones have disappeared. <\/p>\n

Click here to sign up and find out more.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

To make a donation to Missing People, please click here<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

I tried to take back control by applying for other jobs and I was offered a new role with a different company. Though it was less money, I\u2019d also have less responsibility \u2013 a trade-off I was willing to make to try to preserve my mental health. <\/p>\n

Come March, I was relieved to hand in my notice and we moved house at the end of the month. But without giving myself time to recuperate, I started my new job straight after finishing the old one.<\/p>\n

After just one day I realised I’d made a huge mistake. I felt completely detached from everything and the next day, rather than going in, I sat outside in the car park. <\/p>\n

When I went home I <\/strong>admitted to Mark that I felt overwhelmed with anxiety and guilt and we deicded I should ring my GP in the morning for an emergency mental health appointment.  <\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Sarah\t<\/div>
I had just wanted to escape all the feelings of failure and the weight of expectations for a while (Picture: Sarah Bones)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

But when I woke up the next day, on 11 April 2018, I was in no state to call the doctor.<\/p>\n

I felt like I was no longer in my body. I was completely disengaged from my life \u2013 I didn\u2019t know who my family were and everything felt wrong. <\/p>\n

I refused to contact the surgery and Mark was, understandably, furious that I\u2019d gone back on my promise to get the help I needed. But I didn\u2019t care. In fact, I didn\u2019t feel anything. I just wanted to disappear\u2026 so I did.<\/p>\n

Pulling on my shoes, I grabbed my car keys and walked out of the house leaving my purse and phone behind. The last thing I heard as I shut the door behind me was Mark shouting at me to stay. I ignored him.<\/p>\n

I drove aimlessly around my local area all day and I only <\/strong>stopped every now and then to lie down or sob. At one point I even thought about taking my own life \u2013 it was a comforting idea \u2013 but thinking about my family stopped me.<\/p>\n

Around dinner time I was woken up from a nap by the police, who took me home.<\/p>\n

I explained to Mark that I had just wanted to escape all the feelings of failure and the weight of expectations for a while. I also admitted to the thoughts of ending it all.<\/p>\n

Eventually, after a lot of talk and tears, I agreed to get the real help I needed.<\/p>\n

I started counselling and was prescribed medication and I also had a long discussion with Mark about delegating more household responsibilities to him and letting go of control<\/a>. Truly, every little thing has helped.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve since returned to my love of writing and started a copywriting business. I’ve also learned what my signs of deteriorating mental health were so I know if it begins to happen again.  <\/p>\n

Of course, I\u2019ll never forget that<\/em> day – it was my rock bottom. But with <\/strong>working mothers 28% more likely to experience burnout than working fathers, it\u2019s clear this is something we as a society need to get a handle on.<\/p>\n

Now I want my fellow working mothers to know it\u2019s OK to get help. I failed to spot the signs before it was too late but you don\u2019t have to. <\/p>\n

This article was first published February 8, 2024.<\/em><\/p>\n

Do you have a story you\u2019d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk<\/a>.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Share your views in the comments below.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Arrow<\/title><span class=\"mor-link\" data-track-module=\"mor-link_article\">MORE: <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2023\/05\/29\/rhodes-rest-and-relax-the-greek-island-that-saved-me-from-burnout-18751877\/?ico=more_text_links\" class=\"\">Rhodes, rest and relax: The Greek island that saved me from burnout<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"metro-more-link\"><title>Arrow<\/title><span class=\"mor-link\" data-track-module=\"mor-link_article\">MORE: <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2023\/09\/15\/why-the-anti-burnout-8515-working-rule-should-be-the-norm-19501805\/?ico=more_text_links\" class=\"\">Why the anti-burnout 85:15 working rule ‘should be the norm’, according to an expert<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"metro-more-link\"><title>Arrow<\/title><span class=\"mor-link\" data-track-module=\"mor-link_article\">MORE: <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2023\/05\/09\/staff-hope-ai-will-ease-their-workload-rather-than-steal-their-job-18753295\/?ico=more_text_links\" class=\"\">More staff hope AI will ‘save them from burnout’ than fear it will steal their job<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>‘What do you say when you\u2019ve gone AWOL for a day, your name and photo splashed across a missing person’s appeal?’ (Picture: Sarah Bones) The police probably thought I was dead when they found me that day in April 2018.  Tired of driving around aimlessly all day, I\u2019d pulled over into a layby and laid […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":534,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/532"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=532"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/532\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":539,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/532\/revisions\/539"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/534"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=532"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=532"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=532"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}