{"id":4864,"date":"2025-09-06T13:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-09-06T13:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/?p=4864"},"modified":"2025-09-10T21:34:07","modified_gmt":"2025-09-10T21:34:07","slug":"despite-having-multiple-panic-attacks-a-day-i-cant-get-help","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/2025\/09\/06\/despite-having-multiple-panic-attacks-a-day-i-cant-get-help\/","title":{"rendered":"Despite having multiple panic attacks a day, I can\u2019t get help"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n\t\t\"Emma\t<\/div>
When I had my second breakdown, I was completely and utterly burnt out (Picture: Emma Flint)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I can\u2019t do this.<\/em><\/p>\n

That\u2019s what I remember thinking as I lay wailing in my bed, my mother stroking my hair. My heart felt like it was hammering against my chest, my breathing was quick and shallow, and every fibre of my body was tense.   <\/p>\n

I was certain I was dying, and I was terrified.   <\/p>\n

This was February 2025, during my second mental breakdown. I\u2019d had my first four years earlier and hoped I\u2019d gone through the worst of my mental illness \u2013 I was wrong.  <\/p>\n

This time it was much worse, partly because I was completely and utterly burnt out, and yet, it\u2019s been six months and I still<\/em> haven\u2019t received any treatment on the NHS<\/a>.  <\/p>\n

Like so many others \u2013 on average, there are 16,522 people waiting for treatment 18 months after the initial referral \u2013 I\u2019m just another name on a long list of those waiting to get help from mental health<\/a> services. <\/p>\n

I\u2019ve always been an anxious person. Since childhood, I\u2019ve suffered with incredibly low self-esteem, rapidly fluctuating moods, and difficulties controlling my anger. But it took until my mid-twenties to be diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).<\/p>\n

Still, I never thought I\u2019d end up in A&E. <\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Emma\t<\/div>
I\u2019m just another name on a long list of those waiting to get help from mental health services (Picture: Emma Flint)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

In 2021, during an already stressful stage of my life \u2013 my then-partner and I weren\u2019t happy together, I was struggling to establish myself as a freelance journalist, and was generally feeling lost \u2013 I had a slight reaction from the hair dye my hairdresser used.<\/p>\n

Due to having severe health<\/a> anxiety, I started to worry the tingling on my scalp was something serious. This ultimately triggered three days of continuous panic attacks; a sustained onslaught of feeling like I was about to die at any moment.   <\/p>\n

Even once they eased, I spent the next two weeks convinced this feeling of pure, undiluted fear wouldn\u2019t stop. That I\u2019d be stuck like this forever. <\/p>\n

To be trapped in fight or flight mode for such a prolonged period of time is awful. There\u2019s no respite.<\/p>\n

As a result, my road to recovery took months. I received help from the NHS crisis team<\/a> who checked in every day to see how I was doing and was also referred to local mental health services. However, due to the wait, I ended up paying to see a private therapist.  <\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Emma\t<\/div>
Every twinge and ache was a sign, I thought, that I was on the cusp of death (Picture: Emma Flint)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Despite having a lot to overcome \u2013 including the break down of my 10-and-a-half year relationship<\/a> \u2013 in that time, I did eventually weather the storm and, rather naively, I thought I\u2019d never hit rock bottom again.<\/p>\n

Fast forward to February 2025, however, and I was struggling again. Stresses at my full-time job led to burnout and, by the time I took a week off on the recommendation of my boss, I was emotionally and physically exhausted.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s when I experienced my second breakdown.   <\/p>\n

Just like before, I was having panic attacks multiple times a day: I couldn\u2019t eat, I barely slept, and every twinge and ache was a sign, I thought, that I was on the cusp of death. And, this time, I was too drained to claw my way out of the hole I found myself in.  <\/p>\n

It was so bad that my mother came to stay with me for a few days because I couldn\u2019t handle being alone when my new partner<\/a> went to work.  <\/p>\n

At its worst, I lay shaking and sobbing on my bed as my partner spoke to the doctor. All I remember him saying was that I couldn\u2019t be left like this and that he was incredibly worried about me.<\/p>\n

My GP prescribed me some diazepam there and then, over the phone<\/a>, and made a fresh referral on my behalf to the local mental health services.<\/p>\n

Yet even in my distressed state, I wasn\u2019t foolish enough to think I\u2019d get help immediately \u2013 my previous, awful, experiences had made me jaded.<\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Emma\t<\/div>
My partner was incredibly worried about me (Picture: Emma Flint)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Unsurprisingly, I\u2019d still not heard anything about the referral almost two weeks later. It was only when I raised this with my GP and they chased the referral, that I finally had a telephone assessment<\/a> on March 13.<\/p>\n

This isn\u2019t a form of treatment though. Rather, it\u2019s a means of helping local services determine where to send you next.   <\/p>\n

Despite my medical notes from that call clearly stating that my self-harm risk at that time was \u2018significant\u2019, I still <\/em>wasn\u2019t fast-tracked for any type of treatment. <\/p>\n

I\u2019m not ignorant to the strain on NHS resources, but to have someone go months<\/em> without treatment after having a mental breakdown is disgraceful. Without such a strong support network around me, I dread to think where I\u2019d be today.  <\/p>\n

\n

\n\t\t\t\tNeed support for your mental health?\t\t\t<\/h2>\n
\n

You can contact mental health charity Mind on 0300 123 3393<\/a> or text them on\u00a086463<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Mind can also be reached by email at info@mind.org.uk<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

It wasn\u2019t until July that I finally <\/em>received an in-person appointment with a clinician to assess next steps.<\/p>\n

She took a detailed account of my mental health history, told me I might get a medicine review, and that I\u2019d be given information about progressing with an autism<\/a> assessment. <\/p>\n

Unfortunately, nothing has happened since \u2013 I haven\u2019t even had therapy. <\/p>\n

The end of August marked six months of me waiting. Six months of having to endure this mental health crisis without the aid of services designed to help people like me.  <\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Emma\t<\/div>
To have someone go months<\/em> without treatment after having a mental breakdown is disgraceful (Picture: Emma Flint)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

How am I \u2013 how is anyone \u2013 meant to get their lives back on track when there is so little help readily available?   <\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been passed around from GPs to clinicians like the last chocolate in the tin nobody wants. Their polite and sympathetic demeanour means little when I\u2019m so desperately in need of treatment. So, quite frankly, I\u2019m angry.  <\/p>\n

And the fact that gimmicks like free football tickets are being trialled as a way to treat mental health, is laughable. It isn\u2019t the solution we\u2019re begging for.<\/p>\n

Subtle, minimal changes aren\u2019t enough to improve NHS mental health services. A complete overhaul, alongside a significant influx of funding, is needed.  <\/p>\n

There needs to be proactive care options rather than reactive ones and we need appointments when we\u2019re in need, not once we\u2019ve hazily navigated our way through the fog by ourselves. And to be honest, any <\/em>kind of update on care would be a step up from where we are now.<\/p>\n

Sadly, I don\u2019t think any of this will happen any time soon, so all I can do now is chase up referrals and wait for some kind of response. Constantly having to advocate for yourself because health professionals aren\u2019t is soul destroying. <\/p>\n

Nobody should have to beg for treatment. And yet the fact remains that I\u2019m one of the lucky ones: many people who don\u2019t manage to hold on long enough to receive treatment.<\/p>\n

Do you have a story you\u2019d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk<\/a>.<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Share your views in the comments below.<\/strong><\/p>\n


\n\t\t\tComment now<\/title><\/span><br \/>\n\t\t\t<span class=\"share-bar-comments__label\">Comments<\/span><br \/>\n\t\t<\/a><\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When I had my second breakdown, I was completely and utterly burnt out (Picture: Emma Flint) I can\u2019t do this. That\u2019s what I remember thinking as I lay wailing in my bed, my mother stroking my hair. My heart felt like it was hammering against my chest, my breathing was quick and shallow, and every […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4866,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4864"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4864"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4864\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4872,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4864\/revisions\/4872"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4866"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4864"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4864"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4864"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}