{"id":2513,"date":"2025-05-04T15:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-05-04T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/?p=2513"},"modified":"2025-05-07T21:35:35","modified_gmt":"2025-05-07T21:35:35","slug":"id-accepted-my-shaved-head-until-i-heard-two-womens-comments","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/2025\/05\/04\/id-accepted-my-shaved-head-until-i-heard-two-womens-comments\/","title":{"rendered":"I\u2019d accepted my shaved head \u2013 until I heard two women\u2019s comments"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n\t\t\"Emma\t<\/div>
It’s never OK to dissect someone’s appearance, especially when you don’t know a thing about them (Picture: Emma Flint)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

From the moment I made the decision to shave my head, I knew that, at some point or another, negative comments would be made. <\/p>\n

But I never expected to be on the receiving end of them so soon. <\/p>\n

Mere weeks after that first shave<\/a>, two strangers commented on my new \u2018do\u2019. <\/p>\n

\u2018Look at her, she looks awful with her hair like that,\u2019 one quipped.  <\/p>\n

\u2018Why would you do that to yourself?\u2019 The other responded. <\/p>\n

My whole body tensed before I even saw them looking at me. And while I wish I could say I turned around and gave these women a piece of my mind, instead all I could do was stare at them in quiet disbelief. <\/p>\n

It’s never OK to dissect someone’s appearance, especially when you don’t know a thing about them. And judging me for shaving my head<\/a> surely is the lowest of lows? <\/p>\n

I first experienced hair loss<\/a> when I was 15 years old. I had one small patch at the nape of my neck that I discovered one day while staying at my then boyfriend\u2019s house.  <\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Emma\t<\/div>
The next time I found a bald spot I was 32 and it was much bigger (Picture: Emma Flint)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

As much as I tried to stay calm about it, I was deeply embarrassed, not to mention clueless as to why it had happened. My mum thought it could be due to stress<\/a>, though I didn\u2019t feel particularly stressed until after<\/em> I found the patch.  <\/p>\n

It soon grew back though and, as it never developed into a persistent issue at that point, I convinced myself I must have yanked it out while styling my hair. Before long, I forgot all about it. <\/p>\n

The next time I found a bald spot<\/a> I was 32 and it was much bigger. <\/p>\n

I was in the downstairs bathroom of our Cornwall holiday cottage, ran my fingers through my hair and felt naked skin at the back of my head. <\/p>\n

I hadn\u2019t noticed more hair shedding than usual prior to this, yet there it was under the harsh light of the bathroom as I angled my phone to take a photo.  <\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Emma\t<\/div>
I purchased satin pillow cases, hair bonnets, and supplements \u2013 anything to help stop it from happening (Picture: Emma Flint)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

What I hoped would be an unpleasant one off experience again, then turned into a regular occurrence. I\u2019d discover a bald patch, it would eventually grow back, then just when it was barely visible I\u2019d discover a new spot elsewhere.   <\/p>\n

And so began my two year battle with hair loss. <\/p>\n

I became obsessed with my hair, constantly asking myself, \u2018Am I shedding more in the shower? Is this a new patch?\u2019 <\/p>\n

I\u2019d also take photos of the patches and zoom in to look for growth; I\u2019d buy expensive shampoos and serums that did nothing; I purchased satin pillow cases<\/a>, hair bonnets, and supplements \u2013 anything to help stop it from happening.<\/p>\n

In fact, the only thing stopping me from shaving my hair off at that point was a comment an ex-friend had made \u2013 she\u2019d said I\u2019d look ugly and it had haunted me ever since. <\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Emma\t<\/div>
My new hairdresser agreed I had all the hallmarks of the condition (Picture: Emma Flint)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Eventually, I came to learn that I have alopecia areata<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Although I\u2019ve never had an official diagnosis of the condition, I know from thorough research that this is what I have as it\u2019s identified as \u2018an autoimmune condition\u2019 consisting of \u2018patchy hair loss\u2019, typically appearing as \u2018roundish patches varying in size\u2019.  <\/p>\n

Not to mention my new hairdresser agreed I had all the hallmarks of the condition. <\/p>\n

The exact reason for hair loss varies from person to person, though stress is often an underlying factor. And as someone who is constantly anxious \u2013 I wish I was exaggerating \u2013 it\u2019s unsurprising that all that stress has now physically caught up with me.  <\/p>\n

That\u2019s why, in late February, I finally decided to brave the shave.  <\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Emma\t<\/div>
I knew I was going to cry (Picture: Emma Flint)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

When I walked out of the hairdressers with a freshly shaved head<\/a>. I was nervous, sure, but I also felt elated. <\/p>\n

I\u2019d done it. I\u2019d taken back control of the narrative, given the middle finger to patriarchal beauty standards<\/a>, and felt confident for the first time in a long time. <\/p>\n

And then, two weeks later, I heard those women.  <\/p>\n

Despite looking right at them, they seemed unperturbed and soon resumed their discussion in hushed tones. I, on the other hand, felt vulnerable.<\/p>\n

I was completely alone, hundreds of miles from home in the Isle of Wight on holiday, and suddenly wished that I could shrink away and disappear. <\/p>\n

About to meet my partner, I greeted him with a forced smile and hurriedly directed him back towards our car. I knew I was going to cry, but I refused to do it where anyone, especially those women, could see me. <\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Emma\t<\/div>
I pushed past it and spent the day with my partner on the beach simply watching the world go by (Picture: Emma Flint)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Only when I sat in the passenger seat did I let the tears go. I felt stupid, like I\u2019d made a huge mistake in believing I could pull off a shaved head, annoyed and sad.<\/p>\n

All I wanted to do for the rest of the holiday now was hide away. However, I also didn\u2019t want those women to win.<\/p>\n

In the end I pushed past it and spent the day with my partner on the beach simply watching the world go by. And in that serene silence I realised something important: We shouldn\u2019t live to serve other people\u2019s ideas of beauty, nor should our appearance be a topic of discussion.   <\/p>\n

Yes, I could have shaved my hair on nothing more than a whim, but I could have also been living with cancer, or, like I am doing, living with an autoimmune disease that attacks my hair follicles.  <\/p>\n

Bottom line, you never know what someone has gone through, so treat them with kindness no matter their appearance. <\/p>\n

Luckily I\u2019ve been able to move forward and embrace this new look, this new me, and I genuinely adore everything about how my shaved head looks and feels now.<\/p>\n

I know other cutting remarks will come. But this time, I\u2019m ready for them.<\/p>\n

Do you have a story you\u2019d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk<\/a>.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Share your views in the comments below.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s never OK to dissect someone’s appearance, especially when you don’t know a thing about them (Picture: Emma Flint) From the moment I made the decision to shave my head, I knew that, at some point or another, negative comments would be made. But I never expected to be on the receiving end of them […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2515,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2513"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2513"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2513\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2522,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2513\/revisions\/2522"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2515"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2513"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2513"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2513"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}