{"id":13116,"date":"2026-02-19T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-02-19T07:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/?p=13116"},"modified":"2026-02-25T21:34:17","modified_gmt":"2026-02-25T21:34:17","slug":"i-rebuilt-my-relationship-with-my-dad-then-he-was-diagnosed-with-dementia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/19\/i-rebuilt-my-relationship-with-my-dad-then-he-was-diagnosed-with-dementia\/","title":{"rendered":"I rebuilt my relationship with my dad \u2013 then he was diagnosed with dementia"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n\t\t\"Chris\t<\/div>
Chris is pleased that he has been able to make priceless memories with his dad\u00a0 (Picture: Supplied)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Chris Snell\u2019s dad David used to tell his son that if he ever got dementia <\/a>he would hope for a quick death, as he had seen first-hand the devastation caused by the illness.<\/p>\n

His first wife Joyce had died of the brain disease in her sixties, before he married Chris\u2019 mum.<\/p>\n

\u2018Dad would say it to me when I was a teenager and I just laughed it off,\u2019 Chris, 33, tells Metro<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Neither could have predicted that just a few years later how Alzheimer’s Disease<\/a> would take hold of their lives. <\/p>\n

David, 83, first started showing signs<\/a> 13 years ago, when Chris was 19. He started to repeat himself, which his son \u2018just assumed he was getting forgetful<\/a>\u2019. <\/p>\n

Then there was the time scammers tried to take advantage of him online, and the plasterer came home to find his dad nearly in tears because he couldn\u2019t remember<\/a> his banking password.<\/p>\n

\u2018He would drive to Morrisons<\/a> for breakfast every Monday. It should have taken seven minutes, but there were times where it took him two hours to get there and two hours to get back.<\/p>\n

\u2018He would come back and say: \u201cI got bloody lost! I just didn\u2019t know where to go. I was driving and driving,\u201d\u2019 Chris remembers of the time when he started to suspect there was a little more than forgetfulness going on. <\/p>\n

After a few months, David went to his GP who referred him for a brain scan and memory tests.<\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Chris\t<\/div>
Chris realised he had a lot more in common with his dad than he realised (Picture: Supplied)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u2018It was a shock to receive the diagnosis<\/a>. But I just wanted to reassure my dad. I told him I\u2019d be there for him, and that he didn\u2019t need to worry. He didn\u2019t have much of a response. I think he was in denial,\u2019 Chris says sadly.<\/p>\n

\u2018I wasn’t familiar with dementia. I\u2019d heard about it, but didn\u2019t know how people reacted. My dad\u2019s first wife died before I was born, so I really had no clue about the disease.\u2019 <\/p>\n

Chris and David had fallen out when he was a teenager a they struggled to see eye-to-eye with each other. But after his parents split up, Chris was keen to have a relationship with his dad<\/a>, and as they put their differences aside, Chris realised they had a lot more in common than he realised.<\/p>\n

They would go out and \u2018have a laugh\u2019 together at pubs, nights out and beer festivals, while David enjoyed watching Chris emcee, a job he did on the side. <\/p>\n

\n

\n\t\t\t\tHow to sign up to our 2026 Metro Lifeline challenge\t\t\t<\/h2>\n
\n

This year Metro.co.uk is proudly supporting Alzheimer’s Society<\/a> for our 2026 Lifeline campaign.<\/p>\n

On Saturday 13 June 2026<\/strong>, we\u2019re inviting our readers to take on an incredible challenge: an epic hike through the stunning Cotswolds countryside \u2014 all to help support people living with dementia.<\/p>\n

Choose your distance: 25km, 50km or 100km.<\/em><\/p>\n

With registration starting at just \u00a315<\/strong>, and fundraising targets of \u00a3150 (25km)<\/strong>, \u00a3225 (50km)<\/strong> or \u00a3330 (100km)<\/strong>, you can push yourself as far as you want \u2014 while helping fund vital support and research.<\/p>\n

Whether you sign up solo or take on the challenge with friends, you\u2019ll be part of Team Lifeline<\/strong>, with plenty of guidance, encouragement and support along the way. Every mile you walk and every pound you raise will help make a real difference for people facing the daily realities of dementia.<\/p>\n

For our ‘everything you need to know’ guide, click here<\/a> – or if you’re already raring to sign up, click here<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Chris\t<\/div>
Chris and his dad had lost contact when he was a teenager, but they rebuilt their relationshipand spent a lot of time together (Picture: Supplied)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Two years after the separation, Chris even moved in with his dad, as he was worried about him being lonely, and the pair lived in a small mobile home near an industrial estate in Reading.  <\/p>\n

With no knowledge of the disease, Chris had to feel his way in the dark post-diagnosis, with one of the earliest challenges being what to do about David\u2019s driving, which he felt was no longer safe. <\/p>\n

 \u2018Anytime my dad wanted to go somewhere, I would chirpily insist on driving. But if I couldn\u2019t be there, I would hide his keys,\u2019 he explains. \u2018I would come home and Dad would be frustrated, and I would pull them out of a cupboard in my bedroom and say, \u201coh, there found them\u201d. I\u2019d play a bit of a lie because I didn\u2019t want to upset him.<\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"\"\t<\/div>
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u2018I’d learned that you shouldn\u2019t fight with dementia patients, you have to play along with it a bit. But after a while, it got a bit too much, because he would get himself in a mess. So I printed a note out on paper from a garage saying: \u201cYour car keys have gone in for repair and we\u2019ll call you when they’re done.\u201d I just left that on the surface.\u2019<\/p>\n

Chris would still try to take his dad on nights out, but as the disease wore on, hewas distressed to see his David become distant and isolated.<\/p>\n

\u2018One dark afternoon in winter I got back from work and I could see through the door, he was sitting there on a chair, with his elbows on his knees, staring at the floor,’ he remembers. ‘I started crying, and just watched him. He didn\u2019t move for an hour and I wanted to gather my spirits before I went in to him, but I was thinking about how he felt and what was going through his mind. I sat there for ages before I mustered up the strength to go in.’<\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Chris\t<\/div>
Chris was distressed to see his David become distant and isolated (Picture: Supplied)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Chris struggled along alone. He was trying to build up his plastering business at the time, but every time he came home there were more issues to deal with – David experiencing stress, confusion and panic as he tried to fix things or burnt food while cooking. <\/p>\n

\u2018There would be something every day – he would leave the gas on or I would find him wandering in the woods, barefoot, lost.\u2019<\/p>\n

One day, 18 months after diagnosis, Chris had a foreboding feeling. David was unwell, so he ran him a bath, and although normally he would leave him to it, this time, every few minutes, Chris popped his head in and checked on him.<\/p>\n

\u2018The third time I checked on him, he was having a stroke in the bath. I pulled him out, put him on the floor and called the ambulance. It was the worst experience, but could have been so much worse if I hadn\u2019t been there.\u2019<\/p>\n

David was then given a health<\/a> and safety assessment and the authorities arranged for carers to come to the home, but Chris then faced another battle. Until this point, they had survived using Chris\u2019 sporadic wages, David\u2019s pension<\/a> and attendance allowance, but they were told they would have to pay for the carers. At the same time, the mobile home they were living in was leaking and had fallen into disrepair, and for months Chris fought the council to cover the care so he could save his dad\u2019s money to tear the house down and rebuild it.<\/p>\n

\u2018It was an emotionally exhausting time and I sacrificed a lot. My mum would look after my dad so I could go out to events on the weekend, but he was always on my mind. I was always waiting for bad news.\u2019 <\/p>\n

Meanwhile Chris\u2019 work life suffered. He would lose jobs because a neighbour would call him to say David was in trouble and he had to rush home.<\/p>\n

Three years ago, David\u2019s dementia had progressed to the point that he needed constant round-the-clock care, and Chris moved him into a nursing home. It was another distressing milestone in a decade of stress and worry, but for the first time, Chris felt he could breathe a little.<\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Chris\t<\/div>
Since his dad moved into a care home, Chris has loaded his room with family photos from throughout the years (Picture; Supplied)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u2018He moved into Suffolk<\/a> Lodge in Wokingham, and they have been amazing. Every time I visit, he is well-groomed, smiling and chatty.\u2019<\/p>\n

Taking care of David for ten years took its toll on Chris. His voice is battle worn and weary. \u2018The damage has been done. The whole experience took away all my passion and drive. It took a lot away from who I was,\u2019 he says. <\/p>\n

He adds that his twenties feel fragmented now, time lost its meaning and while friends were pairing up and getting married, Chris, older than his years as he focussed on his dad, remained mostly single. <\/p>\n

In recent months, David has been in and out of hospital years with falls and one bout of sepsis. He no longer walks or says much, but he knows who Chris is.<\/p>\n

\u2018Every time I go to see him, I stand near him, and then a carer would say:  \u201cLook David. Look who\u2019s here.\u201d And he would instantly chirp up and say \u201cHello.\u201d I feel like he\u2019s familiar with me.<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019ve loaded his room with family photos from throughout the years, so hopefully that helps,’ Chris says.<\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Chris\t<\/div>
Chris is glad to have good memories with his dad to look back on (Picture: Supplied)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u2018It\u2019s been an incredibly tough time and it\u2019s such a cruel disease that affects the family as much as the patient. But even though my life was so difficult for a long time, I know others go through so much worse. <\/p>\n

‘My dad has never been violent, which I know can be a problem for some. He\u2019s very mellow, and accepting of what\u2019s going on.<\/p>\n

\u2018I would just like to see more done across the board to support families going through this cruel and heartless disease.\u2019<\/p>\n

However, Chris does have the good times to look back on and he is pleased that he was able to make priceless memories with his dad. <\/p>\n

\u2018I remember when I took him to Portugal<\/a> and Barcelona<\/a>. He was still himself at that point and he was having fun. I was emceeing at a drum n bass event in Barcelona and he was dancing along, loving life<\/a>. It wasn\u2019t his thing though – he preferred sixties music, Buddy Holly and Roy Orbison. But people would come up to him and say he was a legend. <\/p>\n

‘I am glad to have those sweet moments to look back on.\u2019<\/p>\n

For dementia support and information visit Alzheimer\u2019s Society here<\/a>.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n


\n\t\t\tComment now<\/title><\/span><br \/>\n\t\t\t<span class=\"share-bar-comments__label\">Comments<\/span><br \/>\n\t\t<\/a><a class=\"metro-button share-bar-preferred-source\" data-vars-position=\"bottom\" href=\"https:\/\/google.com\/preferences\/source?q=https:\/\/metro.co.uk\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><br \/>\n\t\t\t\t<span><title>Add Metro as a Preferred Source on Google<\/title><\/span><br \/>\n\t\t\t\t<span class=\"share-bar-preferred-source__label\">Add as preferred source<\/span><br \/>\n\t\t\t<\/a><\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Chris is pleased that he has been able to make priceless memories with his dad\u00a0 (Picture: Supplied) Chris Snell\u2019s dad David used to tell his son that if he ever got dementia he would hope for a quick death, as he had seen first-hand the devastation caused by the illness. His first wife Joyce had […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13118,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13116"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13116"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13116\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13125,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13116\/revisions\/13125"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13118"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13116"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13116"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13116"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}