{"id":11001,"date":"2026-01-11T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-01-11T09:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/?p=11001"},"modified":"2026-01-14T21:33:49","modified_gmt":"2026-01-14T21:33:49","slug":"i-lost-my-granddaughter-aged-5-then-my-son-took-his-own-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/2026\/01\/11\/i-lost-my-granddaughter-aged-5-then-my-son-took-his-own-life\/","title":{"rendered":"I lost my granddaughter aged 5 \u2013 then my son took his own life"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure class=\"img-container shareable-item wp-caption\">\n<div class=\"img-wrap\">\n\t\t<img width=\"646\" height=\"427\" src=\"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/SEI_280143973-6453.jpg\" class=\"article-image wp-image-26175473\" alt=\"Stella-Lily and her father, Robert, smile in a selfie\" loading=\"lazy\" \/>\t<\/div><figcaption>Stella-Lily, four, and her father Robert, a year before her death (Picture: Lorraine McCorkindale)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>\u2018She\u2019s critically ill Ma,\u2019 my son Robert sobbed down the <a data-track=\"inline-tag-auto-link_article\" href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/tag\/smartphones\/\">phone<\/a>. \u2018She just died for five minutes on the table and they had to resuscitate her.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>He was in hospital with my beloved granddaughter Stella-Lily, who was dangerously ill. My blood ran cold at the despair in my son\u2019s voice.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Within hours, <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2025\/11\/04\/survived-deadly-sepsis-six-times-one-symptom-always-raises-alarm-24609784\/\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2025\/11\/04\/survived-deadly-sepsis-six-times-one-symptom-always-raises-alarm-24609784\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">she was diagnosed with sepsis<\/a> \u2013 five days later, she was dead.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Stella-Lily\u2019s parents had taken her to hospital three times before she was admitted \u2013 being sent home twice.<\/p>\n<p>In the months after her death, Robert never stopped blaming himself.<\/p>\n<p>A year later, he took his own life.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>They should both still be here. Instead, this <a data-track=\"inline-tag-auto-link_article\" href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/tag\/christmas\/\">Christmas<\/a> we had two empty places at the table during our annual family <a data-track=\"inline-tag-auto-link_article\" href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/tag\/boxing-day\/\">Boxing Day<\/a> dinner. On the 25th itself, I spent some time alone at home, honouring them in my own way, before going to my daughter\u2019s for a quiet dinner.<\/p>\n<p>Robert was separated from Stella-Lily\u2019s mummy but they had joint custody. During Robert\u2019s weeks, I helped out too.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<figure class=\"img-container shareable-item wp-caption\">\n<div class=\"img-wrap\">\n\t\t<img width=\"646\" height=\"467\" src=\"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/SEI_280144007-f17f-e1767958352958.jpg\" class=\"article-image wp-image-26175436\" alt=\"Lorraine McCorkindale and Stella-Lily wearing her favourite Rapunzel dress\" loading=\"lazy\" \/>\t<\/div><figcaption>Stella-Lily loved her Saturday sleepovers with me (Picture: Lorraine McCorkindale)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Stella-Lily loved her Saturday sleepovers with me \u2013 I let her stay up past bedtime, dress up in her favourite princess dress and perform <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/tag\/taylor-swift\/\" data-track=\"inline-tag-auto-link_article\">Taylor Swift<\/a>\u2019s Shake It Off in my front room.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>By November, she was already looking forward to Christmas.<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019d spent the previous December in <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/tag\/canada\/\" data-track=\"inline-tag-auto-link_article\">Canada<\/a> with relatives on her mummy\u2019s side. But I\u2019d kept my tree up into January, waiting for her. Christmas 2022 was my turn to host, I couldn\u2019t wait.<\/p>\n<p>But in late November, Robert called me to say he was in A&amp;E.<\/p>\n<p>I went to join him, but soon after I arrived, Robert came out looking relieved, with Stella-Lily at his side.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018<a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2022\/09\/13\/sepsis-never-think-its-just-a-sore-throat-it-nearly-killed-me-2-17356564\/\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2022\/09\/13\/sepsis-never-think-its-just-a-sore-throat-it-nearly-killed-me-2-17356564\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">They said it\u2019s just a virus<\/a>,\u2019 he smiled.<\/p>\n<p>I was so thankful.<\/p>\n<div class=\"factbox\" data-ico=\"factbox_article\" data-track-module=\"factbox_article\">\n<h2 class=\"factbox-title\">\n\t\t\t\tAbout sepsis\t\t\t<\/h2>\n<div class=\"factbox-content\">\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>According to the <a href=\"https:\/\/sepsistrust.org\/about-sepsis\/references-sources\/\">UK Sepsis Trust<\/a>, there are at least 245,000 cases of sepsis in the UK every year.<\/li>\n<li>Up to 48,000 people are estimated to die in the UK every year due to sepsis, and another 80,000 people suffer life-changing after-effects like disability or amputation.<\/li>\n<li>Sepsis kills more people than breast, bowel and prostate cancer combined.<\/li>\n<li>It\u2019s estimated that around 2,000 children each year develop sepsis in the UK. <\/li>\n<\/ul><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p>The next day, Stella-Lily\u2019s mummy took her back to A&amp;E. Robert met her there. They were worried she was still sick and really lethargic.<\/p>\n<p>This time, the doctors decided Stella-Lily had a tummy bug. She was given Dioralyte, an oral rehydration.<\/p>\n<p>The following evening Robert frantically called me.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Stella-Lily\u2019s parents had taken her to hospital for the third time \u2013 she was admitted to paediatric intensive care.<\/p>\n<p>I rushed to the hospital with my daughter. It felt like we\u2019d entered hell.<\/p>\n<p>We were told that Stella-Lily had <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/tag\/strep-a\/\" data-track=\"inline-tag-auto-link_article\">Strep A<\/a>, which developed into sepsis. Her kidneys failed so she was put on dialysis and her limbs started turning black.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"img-container shareable-item wp-caption\">\n<div class=\"img-wrap\">\n\t\t<img width=\"646\" height=\"620\" src=\"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/SEI_280143999-c186-e1767958488666.jpg\" class=\"article-image wp-image-26175453\" alt=\"Stella-Lily and Robert smiling for a selfie\" loading=\"lazy\" \/>\t<\/div><figcaption>Stella-Lily passed away on Monday December 5th, just three weeks before Christmas (Picture: Lorraine McCorkindale)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>At one point, amputation was discussed. I remember thinking that she would cope with losing a foot \u2013 if only we could save her life.<\/p>\n<p>The intensive care medical team was brilliant but <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2025\/10\/22\/diagnosed-deadly-sepsis-experiencing-one-lesser-known-symptom-24492409\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">the sepsis had taken hold<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Two days later \u2013 just a week after she\u2019d started complaining of feeling unwell \u2013 we were informed that Stella-Lily had no brain activity.<\/p>\n<p>And on Sunday December 4th, another scan confirmed that her brain had shut down.<\/p>\n<p>Stella-Lily passed away on Monday December 5th, just three weeks before Christmas and her sixth birthday on December 28th.<\/p>\n<p>We dressed her in her Rapunzel dress and she was laid to rest in a tiny coffin covered in rainbows.<strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n<figure class=\"img-container shareable-item wp-caption\">\n<div class=\"img-wrap\">\n\t\t<img width=\"646\" height=\"492\" src=\"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/SEI_280143993-c046-e1767958651516.jpg\" class=\"article-image wp-image-26175463\" alt=\"Robert and Stella-Lily smiling in the sun\" loading=\"lazy\" \/>\t<\/div><figcaption>Robert spiralled<strong> <\/strong>completely after Stella-Lily&#8217;s death, spending nights in my spare room watching videos of her (Picture: Lorraine McCorkindale)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Christmas was cancelled and on Stella-Lily\u2019s birthday, we released balloons into the sky.<\/p>\n<p>My heart was breaking \u2013 but Robert\u2019s was shattered. I had to stay strong for my son. <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2021\/08\/01\/what-it-feels-like-to-lose-a-child-15015114\/\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2021\/08\/01\/what-it-feels-like-to-lose-a-child-15015114\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">He spiralled<strong> <\/strong>completely after her death<\/a>, spending nights in my spare room watching videos of her.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, he blamed himself. We\u2019d never heard of sepsis, but he kept saying he should have done more to get the doctors to listen to him.<\/p>\n<div class=\"factbox\" data-ico=\"factbox_article\" data-track-module=\"factbox_article\">\n<h2 class=\"factbox-title\">\n\t\t\t\tThe red flag symptoms of sepsis\t\t\t<\/h2>\n<div class=\"factbox-content\">\n<p>The UK Sepsis Trust says that these are the symptoms to look out for in adults. Seek urgent medical attention if you\u2019re worried and ask: <em><a href=\"https:\/\/sepsistrust.org\/\">Could This Be Sepsis?<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>S: <\/strong>Slurring speech or confusion<\/p>\n<p><strong>E: <\/strong>Extreme shivering or muscle pain<\/p>\n<p><strong>P: <\/strong>Passing no urine (in a day)<\/p>\n<p><strong>S: <\/strong>Severe breathlessness<\/p>\n<p><strong>I: <\/strong>It can feel like you\u2019re going to die<\/p>\n<p><strong>S: <\/strong>Skin mottled or discoloured<\/p>\n<p>The charity also has advice for sepsis in children. Be aware if a child or infant is breathing very fast, having a convulsion, has a rash that doesn\u2019t fade when you press it, has mottled, bluish or pale skin, feels abnormally cold to touch or is difficult to wake.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p>I kept reassuring him, but over the next year, Robert was hospitalised several times after overdosing on alcohol and medications.<\/p>\n<p>I was desperately worried. He\u2019d never had <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/tag\/mental-health\/\" data-track=\"inline-tag-auto-link_article\">mental health<\/a> problems previously, but grief was destroying him.<\/p>\n<p>As Christmas approached again, Robert appeared to be turning a corner. He told me we would have a good Christmas this year.<\/p>\n<p>I wanted to believe him and did everything I could to make it special, hanging the decorations and inviting the whole family for Christmas dinner. He went out for a drink with his cousins and uncle, but made sure they were back at my house for 2.10pm, when they knew the turkey would be on the table.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<figure class=\"img-container shareable-item wp-caption\">\n<div class=\"img-wrap\">\n\t\t<img width=\"646\" height=\"508\" src=\"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/SEI_280144056-f1c4-e1767958732346.jpg\" class=\"article-image wp-image-26175464\" alt=\"Robert, dressed in a shirt and tie, and Lorraine in a patterned blouse, taking a selfie\" loading=\"lazy\" \/>\t<\/div><figcaption>My Robert had taken his own life. I believe he died of a broken heart (Picture: Lorraine McCorkindale)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>On Boxing Day, Robert played games with his nieces and nephews. It gave me hope.<\/p>\n<p>A couple of weeks later was Robert\u2019s birthday, so I had invited him over for dinner \u2013 just me and him.<\/p>\n<p>But the same afternoon my niece called me, as soon as I heard her voice, <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2025\/12\/14\/son-died-suicide-im-trying-save-others-25411487\/\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2025\/12\/14\/son-died-suicide-im-trying-save-others-25411487\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">I knew Robert had gone<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019d let herself into his house and immediately found notes he\u2019d left for his nieces and nephews, with gifts and bits of jewellery. She knew before even finding his body what had happened.<\/p>\n<p><em>Samaritans are here to listen, day or night, 365 days a year. You can call them for free on 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org or visit samaritans.org for more information.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>My Robert had taken his own life. I believe he died of a broken heart.<\/p>\n<p>In a video message on his phone to me, he said: \u2018I always thought Stella-Lily needed me \u2013 but now I know that I need her.\u2019 He also left messages for other members of the family, telling them \u2018look after my ma, because she\u2019s the one who will be crying the hardest\u2019.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>After his death, Belfast Health and Social Care Trust commissioned an independent review into Stella-Lily\u2019s care, and highlighted lessons to be learned around recognising sepsis. During the process, the reviewers met with me and I was glad to be involved.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"img-container shareable-item wp-caption\">\n<div class=\"img-wrap\">\n\t\t<img width=\"646\" height=\"502\" src=\"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/SEI_280143979-d793-e1767959378448.jpg\" class=\"article-image wp-image-26175469\" alt=\"Robert on the ground with a months-old Stella-Lily on top\" loading=\"lazy\" \/>\t<\/div><figcaption>In the months after Stella-Lily&#8217;s death, Robert never stopped blaming himself (Picture: Lorraine McCorkindale)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>I submitted a letter as part of the review, asking for four basic tests to be carried out on poorly children in A&amp;E \u2013 temperature, swabs, urine testing and blood tests. This was included in the final report.<\/p>\n<p>The report made for grim reading. At one point, on her second A&amp;E visit, a doctor asked for a cannula to be inserted into her arm for a blood test, but it never happened. Nor had her urine been tested.<\/p>\n<p>The report acknowledged that this test \u2018would probably\u2019 have revealed abnormal results, and IV antibiotics at this stage may have \u2018led to a different outcome\u2019.<\/p>\n<p>It was sickening. But I was hopeful that lessons would be learned so it never happens to another child.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>If I can help just one other family to spot the signs of sepsis, Stella-Lily\u2019s death won\u2019t have been in vain.<\/p>\n<p>Martha\u2019s Law gives hospital patients and their families the right to request an urgent review if they feel a patient\u2019s condition is deteriorating and their concerns aren\u2019t being addressed.<\/p>\n<p>I urge people to ask themselves if something feels wrong. It could very well save a life. And parents know their children better than anyone else.<\/p>\n<p><em>As told to Jade Beecroft<\/em>. <\/p>\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><strong>Do you have a story you\u2019d like to share? Get in touch by emailing <a href=\"mailto:ross.mccafferty@metro.co.uk\" data-type=\"mailto\" data-id=\"mailto:ross.mccarthy@metro.co.uk\">Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk<\/a><a href=\"mailto:Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk\" data-type=\"mailto\" data-id=\"mailto:Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk\">.<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><strong>Share your views in the comments below.<\/strong><\/p>\n<section id=\"share-buttons-bottom\" class=\"share-buttons share-buttons-bottom\"><a class=\"metro-button share-bar-comments\" data-vars-position=\"bottom\" href=\"#metro-comments-container\"><br \/>\n\t\t\t<span><title>Comment now<\/title><\/span><br \/>\n\t\t\t<span class=\"share-bar-comments__label\">Comments<\/span><br \/>\n\t\t<\/a><a class=\"metro-button share-bar-preferred-source\" data-vars-position=\"bottom\" href=\"https:\/\/google.com\/preferences\/source?q=https:\/\/metro.co.uk\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><br \/>\n\t\t\t\t<span><title>Add Metro as a Preferred Source on Google<\/title><\/span><br \/>\n\t\t\t\t<span class=\"share-bar-preferred-source__label\">Add as preferred source<\/span><br \/>\n\t\t\t<\/a><\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Stella-Lily, four, and her father Robert, a year before her death (Picture: Lorraine McCorkindale) \u2018She\u2019s critically ill Ma,\u2019 my son Robert sobbed down the phone. \u2018She just died for five minutes on the table and they had to resuscitate her.\u2019 He was in hospital with my beloved granddaughter Stella-Lily, who was dangerously ill. My blood [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":11003,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11001"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11001"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11001\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11010,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11001\/revisions\/11010"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11003"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11001"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11001"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11001"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}