{"id":10694,"date":"2026-01-04T07:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-01-04T08:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/?p=10694"},"modified":"2026-01-07T21:34:00","modified_gmt":"2026-01-07T21:34:00","slug":"my-son-was-dying-all-i-was-told-was-be-strong","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/2026\/01\/04\/my-son-was-dying-all-i-was-told-was-be-strong\/","title":{"rendered":"My son was dying \u2013 all I was told was \u2018be strong\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n\t\t\"8AM:\t<\/div>
We never thought anything bad could happen (Picture: Ceri Menai-Davis)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

As I placed Hugh\u2019s shoes \u2013 the ones he wore to run around the garden \u2013 gently on the doorstep of Number 10 Downing Stree<\/a>t, silence descended.<\/p>\n

Reporters didn\u2019t flash their cameras. Police bowed their heads. And my wife and I fought hard to swallow the emotion of the moment.<\/p>\n

Because those shoes didn\u2019t just represent my son who, in 2021, died from Rhabdomyosarcoma, a soft tissue cancer<\/a> at the age of just six, they represented thousands of children like him, and of parents like Frances and I trying to handle their devastating loss. <\/p>\n

Before Hugh got sick, he was the brightest, kindest, funniest little boy you could imagine, constantly trying to make his little brother, Raife, laugh.<\/p>\n

He was pure joy personified. <\/p>\n

We never thought anything bad could happen.<\/p>\n

But when he was five the symptoms began. They were small at first \u2013 a bit of tiredness, not wanting to eat, a change in his energy \u2013 yet within days, his belly had swollen like a football. It was unlike anything I\u2019d ever seen before.<\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"8AM:\t<\/div>
My wife and I fought hard to swallow the emotion of the moment (Picture: Ceri Menai-Davis)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

While he never complained and was just a little uncomfortable, I felt it in my bones that something was wrong. My wife called the doctors, who quickly saw him that afternoon and sent him to the local hospital for some tests.<\/p>\n

At 3am, my wife and I sat down with the doctors  where they told us every parent\u2019s worst nightmare: Hugh had cancer. <\/p>\n

I remember seeing Hugh sitting upright in a bed, drinking juice and smiling, completely unaware that the world had just been ripped apart around him.<\/p>\n

That night he got in an ambulance with Frances and travelled to hospital.<\/p>\n

The doctors did everything they could for him: chemotherapy, radiotherapy, transfusions, over months when the hospital became our second home. <\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"8AM:\t<\/div>
We felt totally alone, isolated, forgotten (Picture: Ceri Menai-Davis)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Frances and I slept next to machines on beds that barely fit one of us. We lived off the remnants of a busy M&S, knew the nurses by their first names and the Play team \u2013 the unsung heroes of the children\u2019s wards \u2013 provided us with much needed moments of sanity so we could leave Hugh to have a wash or a coffee.<\/p>\n

Outside of that though, we received no support.<\/p>\n

No financial protection. No structured mental health pathway. Nothing that supported our other son at home who didn\u2019t understand why Mum and Dad kept disappearing for days, weeks on end. Nothing that recognised the trauma we were in and what was about to come.<\/p>\n

We felt totally alone, isolated, forgotten \u2013 not that we ever showed any of that weakness in front of Hugh. The treatments caused him to lose his beautiful blonde hair and weight fell off him, but it never altered his spirit or strength. He was so brave. Braver than I\u2019ll ever be. <\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"\"\t<\/div>
The doctors <\/strong>told us the treatment wasn\u2019t working and he didn\u2019t have long (Picture: Ceri Menai-Davis)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

And then came the moment no parent can prepare for.<\/p>\n

On September 8 2021, the day he was due to go back to school, Hugh fell ill. He was admitted back to hospital, sadly the doctors <\/strong>told us the treatment wasn\u2019t working and he didn\u2019t have long.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t remember much after those words, just the feeling of trying to keep myself upright while the world fell apart and asking the consultant, in desperation, what we should do. He told us to \u2018be strong.\u2019<\/p>\n

In a world where mental health<\/a>, male suicide<\/a> and being kind is at the forefront, I found the prescription of \u2018being strong\u2019 insulting \u2013 especially for someone who was witnessing the demise of his first born son. I couldn\u2019t believe that was the best they could offer me.<\/p>\n

As we walked out of the room where we were told Hugh was going to die we expected a blanket of support and protection to be thrown over us, but we got nothing. <\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"8AM:\t<\/div>
We held him, kissed him and, as the machines were turned off, I told him that I love him (Picture: Ceri Menai-Davis)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

For the next 10 days, Frances and I stayed in the same room as Hugh. <\/p>\n

On Saturday 18 September 2021, Frances laid next to him on his left and I sat on his right in a chair holding his hand. We held him, kissed him and, as the machines were turned off, I told him that I love him, he was safe but that he didn\u2019t have to fight anymore. He could rest. He could be free.<\/p>\n

At 11.20pm, I felt his pulse beat twice very quickly and then, nothing. He was gone. Free of everything that he had been put through those last 10 months.<\/p>\n

The days and weeks after were a blur of grief<\/a>, silence, and the kind of pain that sits deep in your stomach, making you feel constantly heavy. But we had to keep pushing forward.<\/p>\n

In October, I completed the London marathon<\/a> for Alice’s Arc, a charity<\/a> that attempts to find a cure for Rhabdomyosarcoma. I\u2019d promised Hugh I would go ahead with it, and we even buried him with the medal I received around his neck. He would have been so proud. <\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"8AM:\t<\/div>
We wanted to ensure that absolutely nobody went through what we did alone (Picture: Ceri Menai-Davis)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Not long after, the idea of It\u2019s Never You<\/a> \u2013 a charity providing emotional support and practical help to other parents facing the unthinkable \u2013 was founded.<\/p>\n

We wanted to ensure that absolutely nobody went through what we did alone. Because throughout Hugh\u2019s illness, and especially after he died, one thing became crystal clear: every parent in a paediatric acute crisis is being failed by the current system.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s no mental-health support, no structured pathway, no financial stability, and no help for siblings watching their world disappear. We wanted to change that.<\/p>\n

Since then, It\u2019s Never You<\/a> has grown into a lifeline for families across the country. We\u2019ve supported thousands of parents through crisis, treatment, relapse, remission and grief. We\u2019ve given counselling, community, practical guidance, advocacy, peer support and a place to feel human again.<\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"8AM:\t<\/div>
If your child is critically ill, you should have the legal right to be with them without losing your job or income (Picture: Ceri Menai-Davis)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

But we still wanted to do more. We wanted to see real, practical change made at an institutional level.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s why, in 2023, I began campaigning for Hugh\u2019s Law.<\/p>\n

The idea was simple: if your child is critically ill, you should have the legal right to be with them without losing your job or income. And over the past three years, we\u2019ve worked tirelessly to build a national movement which culminated in that moment in Downing Street.<\/p>\n

Across two days in October this year, I carried a 20kg rucksack \u2013 which is the same weight Hugh was when he died \u2013 while walking over 100km from the hospital he died in to No.10.<\/p>\n

It had been emotionally and physically taxing, my legs were shaking and aching when I finally reached the Whitehall gates, but I knew, the moment I put his shoes on the doorstep, it had all been worth it.<\/p>\n

Over 150 MPs and Lords united to sign our document asking for support for parents of seriously ill children.<\/p>\n

If approved by the government<\/a>, it could change the landscape of care in the UK, and I hope it will mean no parent walks this path alone ever again.<\/p>\n

I just hope that, wherever he is, Hugh is proud of the work we do. Everything I do, everything this charity fights for, is for him. <\/p>\n

Do you have a story you\u2019d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk<\/a>.<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Share your views in the comments below.<\/strong><\/p>\n


\n\t\t\tComment now<\/title><\/span><br \/>\n\t\t\t<span class=\"share-bar-comments__label\">Comments<\/span><br \/>\n\t\t<\/a><a class=\"metro-button share-bar-preferred-source\" data-vars-position=\"bottom\" href=\"https:\/\/google.com\/preferences\/source?q=https:\/\/metro.co.uk\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><br \/>\n\t\t\t\t<span><title>Add Metro as a Preferred Source on Google<\/title><\/span><br \/>\n\t\t\t\t<span class=\"share-bar-preferred-source__label\">Add as preferred source<\/span><br \/>\n\t\t\t<\/a><\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We never thought anything bad could happen (Picture: Ceri Menai-Davis) As I placed Hugh\u2019s shoes \u2013 the ones he wore to run around the garden \u2013 gently on the doorstep of Number 10 Downing Street, silence descended. Reporters didn\u2019t flash their cameras. Police bowed their heads. And my wife and I fought hard to swallow […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10696,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10694"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10694"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10694\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10704,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10694\/revisions\/10704"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10696"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10694"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10694"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10694"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}