{"id":10675,"date":"2026-01-04T10:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-01-04T11:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/?p=10675"},"modified":"2026-01-07T21:33:53","modified_gmt":"2026-01-07T21:33:53","slug":"i-was-scared-to-take-antidepressants-but-they-saved-my-marriage-and-my-sex-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/curiousdrive.com\/index.php\/2026\/01\/04\/i-was-scared-to-take-antidepressants-but-they-saved-my-marriage-and-my-sex-life\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018I was scared to take antidepressants, but they saved my marriage \u2013 and my sex life\u2019\u00a0\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Sally’s relationship was at breaking point when she decided to take antidepressants (Picture: Getty Images\/iStockphoto)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

After years of grief, night shifts, new parenthood and sheer exhaustion<\/a>, Sally McIlhone finally turned to her GP for help <\/a>last spring. <\/p>\n

She explained that the weight of stress and feeling overwhelmed had become too much, and at 40, Sally was prescribed the antidepressant <\/a>sertraline – something she\u2019d long resisted. <\/p>\n

It turned out to be a life changing moment.<\/p>\n

Five years earlier, Sally met her husband Paul, then a police officer, just before lockdown<\/a>. But their relationship was immediately tested by heartbreak: an ectopic pregnancy in 2020, followed by months of fertility treatment<\/a>. When they finally welcomed their son, they weren\u2019t prepared for how tough early parenthood <\/a>would be.<\/p>\n

\u2018Paul was doing nights, we weren\u2019t sleeping, and I was having to juggle everything,\u2019 Sally, from Hampshire<\/a>, tells Metro. \u2018It affected our relationship and him mentally.\u2019 <\/p>\n

Managing his role alongside having a new family was untenable and Paul ended up leaving the police. However, further devastation followed a year ago, when the couple went through an incredibly traumatic few months that not only saw them lose their baby girl at 16 weeks, but also find out that Paul\u2019s father had terminal cancer.<\/p>\n

On top of that, the family had moved house, while Paul was diagnosed with PTSD<\/a>. Sally describes the time as feeling like they were being buffeted from tragedy to tragedy. <\/p>\n

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Sally and her husband Paul went through a very tough time (Picture: Supplied)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u2018I was taking on more and more of the household and parenting<\/a> responsibilities, trying to keep all these plates spinning when I was drowning,\u2019 the marketing manager from Hampshire remembers. \u2018I was probably underestimating how depressed I was.’<\/p>\n

At their lowest point, both she and Paul both threatened to leave the marriage. \u2018We were arguing a lot and sleeping in separate rooms,\u2019 Sally explains. <\/p>\n

It was a brutal time, where she felt like she ‘was at the bottom of a pit with no hope of getting out’. When Sally finally sought help from her doctor, she prescribed sertraline, a common antidepressant from the SSRI (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor) <\/a>class. However, she was hesitant to take the first dose, as stigma and other people\u2019s opinions clouded her judgement. <\/p>\n

Instead, she reached out on Instagram<\/a>, asking: \u2018Where my sertraline girls at? I\u2019ve got questions.\u2019 <\/p>\n

The response floored her. \u2018So many friends and colleagues came out and said they\u2019d been on it. People I never would have guessed. Some said it didn\u2019t work for them, others said it was a game changer<\/a>.\u2019<\/p>\n

Sally decided to give the pills a go and after after a few weeks of nausea and sleeplessness, she felt something shift. \u2018As soon as it kicked in, I felt so much better,\u2019 she remembers. \u2018I thought – Why hadn\u2019t I done this years ago? There\u2019s this myth that enduring pain makes us stronger, but actually it can just wear away at you.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Taking antidepressants helped Sally rekindle her relationship with Paul (Picture: Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The effect of the medication was like \u2018turning off half the TVs in my brain\u2019, Sally recalls. \u2018Before, I\u2019d overanalyse everything. If people didn\u2019t text me back, I\u2019d spiral. Now I just care less. I don\u2019t obsess. I don\u2019t feel the need to make everyone like me.\u2019<\/p>\n

And the change had a \u2018huge impact\u2019 on her marriage, she adds. <\/p>\n

\u2018We communicate in a way that\u2019s not as reactive. We give each other space when we\u2019re pissed off. We don\u2019t bite. We\u2019re calmer,\u2019 explains Sally. \u2018He\u2019ll hold my hand, give me a hug. He tells me I\u2019m beautiful, that he loves me. That\u2019s made such a difference.\u2019<\/p>\n

While she\u2019d read that sexual side effects<\/a> of SSRIs can be problematic<\/a> for people on antidepressants, Sally insists she found the contrary. Their sex life, once a casualty of stress and grief, has since flourished. \u2018It\u2019s been the direct opposite of what I feared. Because we\u2019re communicating and I feel emotionally safe, I feel sexual again and confident,\u2019 she says.<\/p>\n

\u2018We talk about what we want, and we\u2019ve found that spark again. It doesn\u2019t have to be lingerie and fantasy. It\u2019s about being close, feeling loved, and wanting each other. <\/p>\n

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\u2018This is the version I\u2019ve always wanted to be,’ says Sally (Picture: Supplied)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u2018Paul’s the best sex I’ve ever had. He knows what to do and he knows my body. He knows what works for me and I\u2019m glad to have that back. I feel like a better version of myself,\u2019 she says. \u2018This is the version I\u2019ve always wanted to be.\u2019 <\/p>\n

Some might say that Sally was fortunate, as new research from sexual wellness<\/a> brand Lovehoney has found more than half of anti-depressant users experience sexual dysfunction<\/a>, with millions of British experiencing low libido and difficulty reaching orgasm. Two in five (40%) people on antidepressants are having less sex overall and 42% say they masturbate less frequently than before, according to the data. <\/p>\n

With roughly one in six adults in England (8.89 million) currently taking prescribed antidepressants, it equates to more than 4.6 million people experiencing reduced sexual desire as part of their treatment, the findings add. <\/p>\n

It\u2019s something Chris Glennon can relate to, as he\u2019s been taking anti-depressants in various forms for nearly 20 years to manage the symptoms of depression<\/a>, anxiety<\/a> and obsessive compulsive disorder.<\/p>\n

 As a result, he has suffered from a lack of sex drive, erectile dysfunction, numbness and loss of feeling. <\/p>\n

‘It was so frustrating and those side effects impacted my mood and self esteem, because you feel the measure of a man is how you perform sexually. And when I did come, it felt like the censored version. Nothing like how it usually felt,\u2019 housing worker Chris, 46, explains. <\/p>\n

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Chris says that taking antidepressants has had a negative impact on his libido (Picture: Supplied)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Although he has also been prescribed Viagra, which he says helped a little, it hasn’t been a cure-all. <\/p>\n

\u2018I still wanted sex. It wasn’t that sort of primeval of desire for it. But [with Viagra] it\u2019s like having a metal rod, there\u2019s still no feeling,\u2019 Chris tells Metro<\/strong>. ‘It felt like having sex with someone else\u2019s body. The girls I have been with loved it because it was great, and it did last quite a long time, but for me it was so numb often I wouldn\u2019t come at all.\u2019<\/p>\n

The sexual side effects have affected all his romantic relationships, Chris adds.<\/p>\n

\u2018Having just met someone and having to explain to someone with a high sex drive that you don\u2019t want sex – they do take it personally,\u2019 he admits. \u2018In the past that definitely put a strain on things. Some girls just didn’t understand and took it like a rejection.\u2019 <\/p>\n

His current girlfriend has been patient and pragmatic. When Chris stopped medication for a few months, sex felt vivid again but following a severe dip in mood and therefore a new prescription, his libido dropped again. <\/p>\n

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Chris believes it’s very important to talk to your GP about sex issues, no matter how uncomfortable it may feel (Picture: Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u2018The times that I stopped taking it was like a lovely treat, because it feels like a release. It\u2019s like the shackles have been taken off, you feel like a teenager again,\u2019 he explains.<\/p>\n

Chris is keen to talk to other men about the issue, as he knows how difficult it can be to bring up sexual side effects at the start of a relationship or in a GP appointment.<\/p>\n

His advice is to push past the discomfort.<\/p>\n

\u2018The conversations that you’ll have are far less awkward and embarrassing than you’d expect. Give it a try – the alternative is just accepting your fate as it is,\u2019 he adds.<\/p>\n

\u2018There is help out there, and there are professionals to talk to. SSRIs aren’t for everyone, but they’re not the only option. Therapy that can really help, either alongside or on its own. Just to speak to people about how you\u2019re feeling, because it can only help.\u2019 <\/p>\n

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\n\t\t\t\tHow to talk to your doctor about your sex life and antidepressants\t\t\t<\/h2>\n
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Lovehoney\u2019s sexual function expert GP Dr Anand Patel says sexual side effects are well-known but rarely discussed openly: \u2018Antidepressants work by boosting serotonin levels, which can help lift mood and ease anxiety. But serotonin can also slow down the brain\u2019s arousal and reward systems, meaning reduced desire, dulled pleasure and delayed orgasm.<\/p>\n

\u2018The good news is that for most people, these effects are temporary and manageable. With the right medical support – such as dose adjustments, medication changes or therapy – sexual wellbeing can absolutely be restored.\u2019<\/p>\n

Top tips:<\/strong><\/p>\n

1. Don\u2019t be afraid to have a conversation with your doctor. Remember that this is common. You can simply say: \u2018I\u2019ve noticed some changes in my sex drive since starting this medication, is that something we can talk about?\u2019 <\/p>\n

2. Know what questions to ask your healthcare provider if you are being prescribed anti-depressants. Questions like: \u2018How likely is this medication to affect my sex drive?\u2019, \u2018Are there alternatives?\u2019, and \u2018If I notice changes, what should I do?\u2019 are completely valid. <\/p>\n

3. Regular exercise, good sleep, stress management, mindfulness and relationship therapy can all help improve libido while continuing antidepressant treatment for those looking at lifestyle changes first.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p>\n


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