Lyme disease, a bacterial infection which is spread to humans through bites from infected ticks, is ‘increasing rapidly’, with the number of people who’ve been diagnosed with the disease, including several celebrities, rising.

Signs and symptoms of Lyme disease include a circular red rash, flu-like symptoms and – if the infection is not treated swiftly with antibiotics – it can cause nerve and heart problems, pain and swelling in the joints, and trouble concentrating for years.

Therefore it’s important for people to be able to recognise what tick bites look like, and the tell-tale red rash that can be the first sign that a person has Lyme disease.

What does a tick bite look like?

A tick bite usually results in a small red bump – similar to the bump you get when a mosquito bites you – and it will likely go away after a few days.

The bites aren’t always painful, so it’s important to check your skin for ticks and bites after you’ve been outdoors.

The distinctive red rash associated with Lyme disease is circular and forms a pattern not unlike a bullseye – but it’s important to note that not everyone who gets Lyme disease will get a rash.

These rashes can develop up to three months after a person has been bitten, but most of the time they will be noticeable within the first month after the bite.

The NHS points out that the majority of tick bites are harmless, and that only a small amount of ticks carry the bacteria that can cause Lyme disease in humans.

If you spot a tick on your body, don’t panic – you can use fine-tipped tweezers to remove it.

Then simply disinfect the bite.

The NHS also stipulates that you should see a GP if you’ve been bitten by a tick or been in an area in the last month where infected ticks have been found and you have flu-like symptoms (headaches, aching muscles, nausea) or a circular bullseye rash.

This article was fist published on August 1, 2019.

Whether you throw it on your pizza, add it to your pasta sauce, or heck, even make it into ice cream, basil is the herb that keeps on giving.

While we may associate it with Italy, the herb is believed to have been discovered in India and southeast Asia more than 5,000 years ago.

And it doesn’t just taste good – it can help you live longer, too.

‘Basil contains nutrients and compounds that can help stave off chronic diseases, including cancer, diabetes, heart disease and arthritis,’ says registered dietitian Gillian Culbertson, for the Cleveland Clinic.

‘On top of that, basil has antibacterial and anti-inflammatory benefits. And it may even boost your mental health, depending on the variety and form that you use.’

But why is it such a wonder food?

Basil helps manage blood pressure

Cardiovascular disease has been treated with basil in traditional Chinese medicine for hundreds of years, since studies on animals have shown it can reduce high blood pressure.

‘Plus, holy basil contains eugenol, an oil that may help lower blood pressure by relaxing your blood vessels,’ adds Gillian.

This goes for basil in all forms, including extracts, leaves and powders.

That being said, you should still consult your doctor if you struggle with your blood pressure levels.

Basil helps prevents cancer

The herb doesn’t just taste great on pizza, it can also help prevent some types of cancer.

A study in the Journal of Molecules in 2016, found sweet basil essential oil prevented human colon cancer cells from growing.

In fact, five different types of basil have been found to have anti-cancer properties, getting in the way of the cancer cells being able to grow and divide, ultimately destroying them.

This included genovese basil, purple ruffle basil, dark opale basil, anise basil and bush green basil, according to a Natural Product Research study.

‘There is a growing body of evidence that basil could be a powerful cancer prevention tool,’ says Gillian. ‘But researchers need to do more human studies to confirm these promising results and understand how much basil people should consume.’

Basil improves blood sugar levels

‘Human studies are in the early stages but have shown some exciting potential benefits for blood sugar management and Type 2 diabetes,’ Gillian explains.

This comes from studies where scientists found basil extract contributed to reductions in blood sugar levels for diabetes models, this same effect was found in animals when holy basil extract was used.

However, Gillian says more needs to be done to understand the long term impact of the herb on your blood sugar health.

Basil protects against cell damage

This tasty herb is chock full of antioxidants – substances which prevent or slow cell damage by neutralising molecules that can harm cells.

These bad molecules are known as ‘free radicals’.

‘Your body makes free radicals in response to stress and inflammation. Free radicals also come from environmental exposures, like cigarette smoke and ultraviolent (UV) radiation,’ Gillian says.

‘But antioxidants act as a shield against free radicals — and the health problems they cause.’

If you don’t protect yourself from these harmful molecules you could develop cataracts, arthritis, cardiovascular disease, and even cancer.

How to incorporate basil into your diet

Gillian advises that you speak to your doctor before you incorporate basil into your diet, in case it interferes with any medications you’re taking.

‘Basil along with blood-thinning medications could thin your blood too much,’ she says. ‘There’s also a risk that your blood sugar or blood pressure could get too low when ingesting both basil and medication for these issues.’

You can eat it fresh or dry, although dried basil tends to taste stronger. What’s better, is it’s only 52p from Aldi.

‘If you only have dried basil on hand, use one-half to one-third the amount of fresh basil you need,’ recommends Gillian. ‘Stick with the leaves, and pay close attention to the kind you have.

‘Some types of basil, like sweet basil and Italian, are best used fresh as a garnish. But other types, like Thai basil, can handle heat and be cooked.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

As soon as I wake up at 7am, I start mentally listing what I’m grateful for and setting my intentions for the day.

As soon as I wake up at 7am, I mentally run through three things I’m grateful for. This is often something small and immediate, like the fact the kids have slept in past 6am, a cuddle with my cat, or a project I’m excited about.

Then, I set my intentions for the day. This might be a one word anchor, a single word that captures how I want to ‘be’ today, a reminder to approach a challenge with curiosity rather than stress, or a clear top priority I want to move forward.

After that, I do some stretches before jumping in the shower.

I don’t allow myself to scroll my phone until at least half an hour after I’ve got up. 

I do this routine every single day. It’s sustainable, flexible, takes minutes, and leaves me feeling calm and prepared for the day ahead. Or at least until the chaos of the school run starts! 

However, a quick scroll on social media will tell you that my routine is far from the norm. In fact, some of what I see feels quite extreme.

Take US influencer Ashton Hall for example. He went viral in April for his five-hour long morning routine. 

His day, as shown, begins at 3:50am. He removes his mouth tape, does press-ups, journals, dunks his face in ice water (with lemon), has a steam, exercises, uses a banana skin for a some kind of facial and all before starting work at 9.30am. 

While a large number of reactions from his followers seemed pretty positive, with comments like ‘obsessed’ and ‘loving this routine’, I was exhausted just watching. It instantly set off alarm bells about the pressure this puts on people to match a completely unrealistic standard.

Occasionally I saw comments along the lines of ‘how do you have time for this’ but negative comments like this were often shot down by other followers, indicating a pressure to conform and a creeping culture of toxic productivity.  

Ashton’s routine is just a drop in the ocean.

On Instagram, the hashtag #selfcare has 96.3million posts alone and #selfimprovement has 11million.

That’s hardly surprising when my whole feed seems endlessly exposed to a multitude of perfectly-lit videos extolling the virtues of (to name a few) light therapy, cold water exposure, meditation, journalling, oil pulling, tongue scraping, yoga and matcha lattes. 

But, let’s be clear, self-improvement schedules that take three hours or more are not self-care – they’re more like performances than genuine wellbeing. And the ferocity with which this industry is growing has left me with a gnawing concern.

If we’re not careful, we risk fostering a sense of inadequacy. A belief that, because our approach to taking care of ourselves is not as ‘perfectly’ curated as others, we are simply not good enough. 

This is the darker side to self-improvement culture, and it’s one we must stamp out. 

While the concept of self-care isn’t new, the way we talk about it today has changed dramatically. What began as a deeply human response has since become a $6.3trillion (approximately £4.5trillion) industry, as of the end of 2023 – with social media playing a central role. 

Wellness influencers portray curated, aesthetic routines as essential for happiness, creating a warped version of what ‘good self-care’ looks like. 

Who can forget the self-improvement trend that seemingly had a chokehold on everyone during the pandemic? How many were posting, and continue to post, about learning new languages, starting businesses, getting fit, and documenting their ‘glow-ups’ online? And how many people were made to feel bad because of their lack of self-improvement?

As a psychologist, I’m no stranger to the value of personal development, it’s a large part of my work and I help clients with everything from leadership mindset to what I call foundational self-care, including sleep habits. 

But when self-care becomes another item on the to-do list, another performance to perfect, or another standard to measure yourself against, it can spiral into toxic productivity. And what should be about mental health maintenance becomes another form of achievement culture. 

It’s also important to remember that, while we may be constantly bombarded with images of other people’s seemingly perfect lives – immaculate meal prep, serene meditation and gratitude journals – what we don’t see are the outtakes, or the financial and time costs of maintaining these elaborate lifestyles. 

The reality is, real self-care is often boring, unglamorous, and completely unworthy of documentation. 

In fact, the most effective self-care practices are usually the simplest ones: regular sleep, gentle movement, connecting with others, and nourishing our bodies. 

After years of insomnia, I now have an evening routine that works: low lighting to help wind down, no screens for at least half an hour before sleep, a few minutes journaling, gentle breathwork, and the same bedtime each night (where possible).

And of course I have my morning practice that sets me up for the day. But I’m definitely not in the 5am club – and there’s nothing wrong with that. 

If you feel anxious when you can’t complete your routine, spend more time planning and tracking your improvement than actually experiencing benefits from it, or find that your self-care practices are creating more stress than they relieve, it’s a key warning sign that something has gone wrong. 

True self-improvement isn’t about becoming a different person, it’s about becoming more yourself, without the pressure to document every step of the journey or purchase your way to wellness. 

I think we all just need to remember that we’re all a work in progress and we can, and will, continue to grow and develop throughout our lives. 

You don’t need to get up at 5am to be productive, but if it works for you then great. You don’t need to keep up with every trend or challenge that appears on social media, in order to look after yourself. You just need to pay attention to your own individual needs and your foundational self-care: sleep, nutrition, movement and connection. 

I’m not saying we need to abandon self-improvement entirely, but we do need to return it to its original purpose. And perhaps the most radical act of self-care we can all do is simply believing we are enough, exactly as we are, right now.   

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

Share your views in the comments below.

I first heard about MK-677 in the backroom of a gym that smelled like old chalk, sweat, and secrets. It wasn’t on the supplement shelf or being hyped on a billboard. It was whispered about. ‘Ibutamoren’, someone said quietly, like it was too potent to say out loud. 

A guy in his late 40s, built like a boulder, leaned in while we were cooling off after a late lift. “You want to recover like you’re 20 again?” he asked me, handing a bottle with no label—just a barcode and a warning look. That was my introduction to the growth hormone stimulant MK-677.

Originally developed to treat muscle wasting and growth hormone deficiencies, it’s gained traction in fitness circles for its supposed ability to help build muscle, reduce fat, improve sleep, and speed up recovery. 

Unlike injecting human growth hormones, MK-677 comes in pill form, making it more appealing—and more dangerously accessible. Like most things in the fitness underground, it wasn’t about what it promised. It was about what might be possible.

Just a few days after my first introduction to MK-677, a friend  texted to tell me he knew a way I could gain 5kg-7kg in two months and that it would be mainly muscle. I replied that it simply wasn’t possible.  

From the age of 25, I had spent seven years turning my body into what many would describe as a machine — dense, sculpted, powerful, but not bulky in the traditional sense. 

I wasn’t a bodybuilder, exactly, but I was training with precision and an obsession with muscle growth. While some people spend years trying to lose weight to look a certain way, I spent years gaining it. 

I’d push myself hard, working out five times a week, a little cardio here and there, but mainly lifting—heavy compound movements like squats, deadlifts, bench press. My diet was decent, not perfect. Chicken, rice, eggs, protein shakes, the usual “clean eating” formula. I even tried intermittent fasting because someone on YouTube said it would “reveal the abs hidden underneath.” It didn’t. 

I’d managed to nearly get to my goal weight, but was 5kg off – and no matter what I tried over the years, the scales barely budged. 

Then my friend sent me the link to something he had used “first hand” so he could vouch for its authenticity – again the words MK-677 flashed up. His “quick fix”, coupled with the fact that someone had literally handed me a bottle felt like my sign, at the age of 40, to try it. 

To be fair, Ibutamoren is everywhere,  if you know where to look. From weekend warriors and aging lifters to influencers documenting their “body recomposition” journeys on YouTube, and TikTok, Ibutamorenis riding a biohacking wave. 

But the science is murky, the regulation basically nonexistent, and the long-term effects still mostly unknown.

‘People are talking about Ibutamoren like a shortcut for muscle growth or fat loss, especially among newer lifters who want quick progress,’ explains personal trainer and health coach Kevin Rail. ‘The problem is that it is not a supplement you pick up with your protein powder. It is not approved for any use, and a lot of what is sold online comes from places where you cannot be sure what is inside. When you do not know the dose or the purity, the risk goes up fast because your body is the test site.’

Yet, as someone who is a bit of a risk taker, I decided to take the plunge – and I must admit the first few weeks were incredible. 

My sleep was deep, like my body was finally getting the rest it always needed, while my appetite went through the roof. With it came fast gains in size and within two weeks I had shot up 2kg.  In turn, the amount I was able to lift went up and recovery was faster. I looked pumped.

But then came the water retention. Within days I had a puffy face, swollen ankles. When I looked in the mirror I chose to ignore the visible side effects, as it felt like a mild price to pay. 

However, my blood sugar crept up and my hunger got out of control. Eating ‘clean’ became a battle. I didn’t feel unhealthy, but I didn’t feel quite right either. 

After eight weeks, I stopped. Immediately my drop in weight was noticeable. I went down 2kg, then 4kg. My sleep issues returned and my joints ached. Even worse, my body softened.

Kevin explains that as MK-677 raises growth hormones and IGF-1, which can add weight and fullness, it ‘pulls on the entire hormone system’. 

‘That is why people report big jumps in water retention, sore joints, and appetite swings that make eating feel hard to control. Some describe numbness, tingling, or swelling in hands and feet, and they only connect it later. 

‘Concerns about heart health are the most serious because strain on the cardiovascular system is not something you want to trade for a slightly bigger pump,’ he warns. ‘It has been studied in medical trials for specific problems, but it is not approved for regular use outside these settings.’

Dr David McLaughlan is a consultant psychiatrist at the Priory and says they’ve seen ‘a noticeable rise’ in body image concerns among young men.

‘The growing promotion of ibutamoren as a muscle-building or ‘anti-aging’ substance is deeply worrying. It has been banned by the World Anti-Doping Agency, and is not approved for human use,’ he explains. 

As co-founder of addictive behaviour change app Curb Health, Dr McLaughlan adds ‘the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) raised safety concerns, highlighting one clinical trial which was stopped early due to signs of congestive heart failure in patients taking the drug.’

Mark* first started taking MK-677 in May 2025 and within three weeks, he noticed a significant uptick in appetite—describing it as ‘eating everything in the fridge.’

‘The hunger came on quickly and intensely, especially within a few hours of taking the pill,’ he tells Metro.

This dramatic increase in food intake coincided with a noticeable weight gain, also of around 2kg. Rather than up his dose in a bid to speed things up even more, as I had, Mark remained steady and over two months continued to see weight gain and a fuller appearance in his muscles. 

The hunger stayed strong throughout, which made it easy for the 46-year-old to stay in a caloric surplus. 

While Mark has yet to reach his goal weight, he insists the initial results have been promising.

‘I’m definitely committed to staying steady with this for now. The progress might be slow, but it’s consistent, and that’s what matters to me,’ he says.

However, Mark also worries he doesn’t know if he can stop. ‘Honestly, it feels like I’m hooked,’ he admits. ‘I don’t know if I can just stop and still keep these results—it’s become part of my routine.’

Dr McLaughlan adds: ‘Any substance that alters growth hormone levels can affect brain chemistry in unpredictable ways. Without medical supervision, people could be putting themselves at risk of serious and potentially irreversible harm.

‘We urge anyone experiencing issues relating to body image or addiction to speak to a qualified medical professional.’

After taking a two-month break I tried MK-677 again, this time being more careful about how much and coming off it if I didn’t feel so great. 

At the moment, the gains are very quick and my body looks full and muscly – but there have been days where I have had pounding headaches, or really powerful stomach cramps. 

I also live with the knowledge that MK-677 is not FDA-approved and may carry side effects I’ve yet to encounter, which could be even more dangerous. 

So why do I take it? I feel that you only live life once and I want to test my body. At least I can say I did everything I could to obtain the best physique possible.

And there’s no getting away from the fact that people like me are willingly hacking their biology without necessarily waiting for long-term safety data or regulatory approval.

You only have to look at someone like Bryan Johnson, who regularly has stem cell therapy and used immunosuppressants usually given to for organ transplant patients in a bid to live longer, to see how far some people will go. 

It feels like a new era where pharmacological self-optimisation is becoming mainstream and the line between medicine and lifestyle enhancement is blurring. 

However, MK-677 shows how quickly new science can leap from the lab bench to TikTok-fueled trends, where people happily experiment on themselves. 

The question is, are users really prepared for what comes next?

*Name has been changed

PT Kevin Rail is a contributor at Premium Saunas, a company that promotes a lifestyle centered around wellness and relaxation.

For 24 years, Chloe Walker lived in fear of falling victim to a gust of wind, lest the force of it disturb her strategically-placed fringe, revealing her forehead.

Since the age of 10, she had been self-conscious of her 9cm forehead, so at 34, she finally caved and spent £5,000 on reduction surgery.

‘I had a fringe put in and it gave me confidence, but it got to the point where I was too uncomfortable to go swimming with my kids anymore,’ says the mum-of-two, from Hornchurch.

‘Some people are uncomfortable about what they might look like in a swimsuit. I was just worried about if my hair got wet, if my head was on show.’

This insecurity was taking over Chloe’s life to the point she would edit the size of her head in pictures – even doctoring family photos she’d had taken with the kids.

‘I’d try to shrink it,’ she says. ‘I got married about three years ago and I still haven’t printed my wedding photos. I need to touch them up again.’

Looking back on her wedding day, the quantity surveyor remembers stressing about this feature in particularly, dousing herself in hairspray to stick her fringe down over it.

‘It didn’t move,’ Chloe recalls. ‘I’ve gone through thousands of bottles of hairspray over 20 years. I wish I did the surgery before then.’

It was this memory – coupled with the realisation her kids might come to think of her as unable leave the house without a cap – that prompted Chloe to go under the knife.

She initially considered a hair transplant to bring her hairline forwards, but was worried it would be unsuccessful and take too long to grow back. So in July this year, she headed to the Signature Clinic in Notting Hill, paying £5,000 for forehead reduction surgery that decreased it from 9cm to 6.5cm.

According to the clinic, the procedure takes about two to three hours and involves six weeks of recovery, starting with ‘marking and measuring the new hairline for a proportionate result.’

Next, an incision is made along the hairline and the excess forehead skin is removed, before ‘the hair-bearing scalp is repositioned to create a lower, natural-looking hairline’ and the incision is closed with fine sutures.

In Chloe’s case, recovery was difficult, and although she was initially pain-free, her forehead began to swell over the next three or four days.

She explains: ‘The pressure from the headpiece was unreal – I cannot explain that pain. I was really swollen.’ A week later I got to do my first hair wash.’

Regardless of the pain though – and not being able to wash her hair for a week afterwards – she couldn’t be happier.

‘It’s changed my life,’ the mother adds. ‘I instantly feel happier when I wake up. I feel free, like I can walk down the street and I’m a free person.’

And since then, Chloe has also taken to TikTok, sharing her story and documenting her recovery in order to ‘help other people who may feel the same’.

But social media hasn’t necessarily been kind to Chloe.

‘A lot of people are saying my forehead is still big and there’s no difference,’ she says.

‘I have had people say horrible things like, “oh if I haven’t got any paper I’ll just write my essay on Chloe’s head”. And I’ve been called spam-head.

‘That’s bothered me but then I think, “I know I’ve had 2.5cm removed so there’s not much they could have done and I need to accept this is me now”.’

While Chloe still sometimes looks in the mirror and thinks her forehead is too large, she tries to remind herself that it’s smaller since the surgery.

‘I need to just embrace who I am now,’ she explains. ‘I was getting to the point where I was a bit self-conscious to go out as much so I needed something instant. I was shutting myself away.’

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With a fourth heatwave in the UK bringing temperatures of up to 30°C or even higher, we’re in for some humid nights in the coming days, which could make sleep challenging.

‘A drop in heart rate and drop in core temperature are part of the process the body goes through when readying for sleep,’ explains sleep expert James Wilson (aka The Sleep Geek). ‘The hot weather impacts on our ability to do both.’

You’re probably already feeling sluggish from the week’s weather, but as the heatwave reaches its crescendo this week, we asked the experts what they’ll be doing to get some much-needed rest.

Allow the air to flow

While keeping the windows in your bedroom open might be fairly obvious if the room is warm, James advises that keeping your room door open and windows in other rooms of your home will allow more air to flow around the space – and keep everything as cool as possible:

‘Ensure there is a good airflow through the house so open windows on both side to allow the air to pass through.’

Breathe through your nostrils

Speaking of air flow, how you breathe can make a big difference, according to sleep expert, physiologist and author Dr Nerina Ramlakhan 

‘Nasal breathing is naturally more cooling and helps calm the nervous system,’ she tells Metro. ‘Practise it during the day, even while walking or shopping, so it becomes second nature at night.’

Have a warm (not cold) shower before bed

A freezing cold shower might seem like the perfect power move for those who can bear it, but Nerina says lukewarm is the way forwards.

‘A shower or bath before bed can help lower your core body temperature, especially if you get your head or hair wet,’ she says. ‘Just be sure it’s not too cold – extreme temperatures can be stimulating.’

Or, James suggests: ‘Put lukewarm water in a hot water bottle and place the soles of your feet on it. This will raise your temperature slightly and then it will drop, helping your body prepare for sleep.’

Choose your pillows carefully

‘Even your pillow material can have an impact on your sleep in the summer,’ explains Deirdre McGettrick, home expert, co-founder and CEO of ufurnish.com.

‘Opt for down filled pillows as these are light and fluffy and more breathable than those with a synthetic fill, making them perfect for summer.

‘You can also choose a pillow designed specifically for cooling such as those made with cooling gel or ventilated memory foam which will help dissipate the heat throughout the night.’

Keep the heat out

‘Close blinds and curtains in rooms that are exposed to direct sunlight. The shade will help the room stay cooler,’ James says.

It’s important to do this early on in the day, so that when the sun is at its highest and hottest in the middle of the day, the rooms in your home stay as cool as possible.

Freeze your sheets

It sounds obvious but keeping your sheets cool will keep you cool too.

‘Place your bed sheets and pillowcases in sealed plastic bags and put them in the freezer for a few minutes before bedtime,’ Deirdre suggests.

‘Take them out just before going to bed and you’ll get instant refreshing coolness as you drift off to sleep.

 Turn your fan into DIY air conditioning

‘If using a fan, place a bowl of chilled water in front of it to cool the stream of air it is pushing round the room,’ James advises. 

Alternatively, we’ve also tried placing a bowl of ice cubes in front of a fan and it’s had the same effect – instantly cooling the air being moved by the fan.

Invest in a cooling mattress topper

Deirdre advises: ‘Choose a mattress topper made of gel-infused foam or latex as these are designed to regulate temperature and keep you cool throughout the night.’

Try not to overthink it

James says that the ‘biggest thing that prevent us sleeping in hot weather is the thought “I am too hot to sleep”’ 

‘My advice would be to accept that you might not sleep quite as well, but that it will probably be over in a couple of days and your body will more than likely make up for the poor sleep by giving you better quality sleep.’ 

So, if you can help it, try not to think about it too much. Listen to calming music, a podcast, or an audio book to help take your mind off the heat and help you drift off to sleep. Avoid watching TV or looking at something on a screen, as this will keep you awake for a whole different reason!

This article was first published in June 2023 and updated in August 2025.

When we talk about trauma, we often mention the three well-known responses: fight, flight or freeze. 

It’s the idea that everyone has an instinctive survival mechanism to confront (fight), escape (flight) or become immobile (freeze) to a potential threat or danger. 

However, there’s a fourth type of survival response that’s often overlooked: fawning. It’s a type of extreme people-pleasing behaviour where people appease abusers to avoid conflict. 

It’s not a new concept, but it’s becoming increasingly apparent among Gen Zers – those born between 1997 and 2012 – and social media has a lot to answer for it. 

That’s according to Chartered Psychologist and Trauma Specialist Dr Ravi Gill, who has noticed many of her Gen Z clients exhibiting people pleasing or ‘fawning’ behaviours.

‘It’s about protecting themselves in a world where so much of their life plays out online,’ she tells Metro.

‘Many grew up on social media, where constant visibility and public feedback make likability feel like survival. Appeasing or agreeing becomes a low-risk way to avoid online backlash.’

Fawning was first coined by psychotherapist Pete Walker in his 2013 book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. 

He described it as ‘seeking safety through appeasing the needs and wishes of others’ and says it stems from a lack of emotional nurturing in childhood, which creates an extreme self-sacrificing personality. 

Sound familiar? Here’s how to tell if you’re a Fawner, and what to do about it. 

What is fawning?

According to Dr Ravi Gill: ‘Fawning is a trauma response in which a person instinctively seeks to please, appease or accommodate others to avoid conflict, rejection or perceived danger.’

Fawners might seem hyperagreeable, but it’s less about genuine agreement and ‘more about self-protection learned in unsafe or unpredictable environments’. 

These types of tendencies are developed as a learned survival strategy. Dr Gill adds: ‘It’s a way to secure safety, approval or belonging in environments where conflict, rejection or disapproval feel threatening.’

There are several reasons why people might adopt fawning as a survival response and childhood experiences can play a big part. 

‘Growing up in a home where love or acceptance was conditional, or where conflict was unpredictable, can teach children to minimise their own needs to keep the peace,’ says Dr Gill.

Past experiences of rejection, bullying or abuse can also play a part, hardwiring the instinct to appease as a way to avoid further harm.

Gen z and fawning 

Gen Z may be particularly susceptible to fawning due to many of them growing up in a digital world. You could call it a more extreme manifestation of the Gen Z stare.

The combination of messaging apps, social media DMs, emails and group chats means requests are just a ping away. Being online can be confused with being available, making it harder to say ‘no’ to things.

Dr Gill describes it as a ‘learned adaptation to a hyper-connected, high-stakes social environment’. 

Then there’s the social conditions they’ve grown up with. Dr Gill explains that entering adulthood during a period of instability (the pandemic, housing crisis, cost of living, the list goes on) heightens the instinct to maintain alliances and avoid social exclusion.

The therapist has seen many examples of fawning in her clients, including one who ‘is always double checking that her friends aren’t upset with her or apologising for things that she hasn’t done’.

She adds: ‘People pleasing isn’t about weakness, it’s an adaptive behaviour that once kept someone safe or connected, but can become limiting when it overrides authenticity and self-care.’

How to stop Fawning

Avoiding Fawning isn’t as simple as flipping a switch, Dr Gill says it’s about ‘retraining your nervous system and mindset’, so you can stay truthful to yourself without feeling unsafe. 

To do so, she suggests paying attention to trigger moments, for example, when you agree, apologise or soften your opinion out of fear, rather than choice. 

She adds that it’s important to get used to disagreeing. ‘Practise saying “no” or expressing a different view in low-stakes situations to teach your brain that conflict doesn’t always mean rejection.’

It’s also important to set boundaries, deeciding in advance what you will and won’t accept in relationships and sticking to those limits.

Don’t expect to let go of these old patterns overnight, though. Dr Gill recommends seeking external support to help. 

‘Trauma-informed therapies like somatic experiencing and CBT can address the root causes and help you respond differently under pressure.

‘Over time, these practices replace automatic appeasement with intentional and self-respecting choices.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

Asking her daughter Hayley* to look away while she’s injected is the hardest part of Emma’s week. There’s always a wince of pain and sometimes tears.

But Emma* isn’t giving Hayley jabs through necessity – the 13-year-old is perfectly healthy. Instead, she is injecting her daughter with Mounjaro which she bought over the internet after lying about who it’s for.

‘We’ve tried everything to get Hayley’s weight down. Diets don’t work, she exercises but it never changes her weight and she’s miserable about her size compared to her friends,’ explains Emma, 43.

‘Our GP always suggested diet and exercise, but that hasn’t been that helpful at all. Mounjaro is a last resort, yes, but it’s working and she’s already lost almost a stone.’

At 5ft 4in and 80kg, Hayley is obese according to the NHS BMI calculator, but with a BMI of 30.3 she doesn’t qualify on the NHS for the weight loss injections which are costing Emma, a teaching assistant from Plymouth, hundreds of pounds.

According to NHS statistics, the teenager is one of 15% of children aged between 2 and 15 who are living with obesity in the UK. 

While some NHS Trusts approve sameglutide GLP1 injections for children and teenagers, Psychologist Dr Carolyne Keenan is horrified by Emma’s actions and says that illegally buying these drugs online could be catastrophically damaging for a child’s mental health.

‘When considering pharmacological interventions, it is crucial that these are closely monitored by doctors and delivered on a case-by-case basis,’ she explains.

‘Children are still developing physically and emotionally, and any medication must be used with great caution. Identity formation during childhood and adolescence is deeply tied to body image and self-worth. Introducing weight loss injections could inadvertently reinforce harmful beliefs about food and body image, leading to long-term issues with self-esteem and disordered eating patterns.’

While it’s estimated around 2.6% of teens in the UK are living with an eating disorder – an increase from 0.5% in 2017 – Dr Keenan warns weight loss jabs for teens will have long term effects, whether they’re prescribed or bought illicitly online.

‘We’ve seen the negative consequences of well-intentioned but poorly managed approaches in the past. In the 1990s and early 2000s, the US trend of sending children to “fat camps” aimed to tackle weight concerns through intensive diet and exercise regimes was popular,’ she explains. ‘However, many of those children reported long-lasting shame, body dissatisfaction, and unhealthy relationships with food as a result.’

While Emma has decided to keep Hayley’s injections a secret from her extended family, the mum strongly believes she’s doing the right thing.

‘Hayley was so low about her weight for years. She’d cry and get upset that she couldn’t buy or wear the same clothes as her friends because of her weight,’ she remembers. ‘That’s changing now. I’m losing the sullen, quiet, sad teenager and she’s growing in confidence, that’s the only measure I need that I’m doing the right thing.’

The teenager tells Metro that she hasn’t told her friends about her injections either. ‘It was my idea and I asked Mum if we could look into it. I was a bit worried about being injected and I couldn’t do it myself but I love the fact I’m losing weight,’ she adds. ‘My friends have all noticed and are complimenting me on it which feels really nice.’

Psychologist Dr Joanna Silver – who specialises in eating disorders – says weight loss jabs aren’t the right answer for children like Hayley who need help improving their own body image. ‘It makes sense to want to ease your child’s pain, but before trying medication, it is important to find out why your child is struggling,’ she explains.

‘Have they faced bullying? Do they feel ashamed of their body? Are they using food to handle emotional pain? GLP1s might help with weight but they don’t fix the deeper emotional issues. The best way is a team approach that includes psychological support.

‘Giving medication without knowing the root of their pain can make shame worse and suggest the body is the problem. Similarly, leaving children with insecure body issues is worrying. We need to help children find healthy coping mechanisms to manage their challenges.’

Weight loss injections were approved by NHS watchdog the National Institute for Clinical Excellence in 2022 and figures from last December show over 500,000 people in the UK are using the jabs with a staggering 95% percent of them buying the medication online like Emma does. 

Nutritionist Marcelle Rose tells Metro that she’s witnessing more people who have decided to ditch the weight loss injections after ending up with mental health issues as a consequence of their use. ‘I’m seeing an increase in clients who have tried these medications and stopped due to side effects,’ she says.

“Once discontinued, many experience rapid weight regain and a sense of feeling completely out of control around food. Their body image often deteriorates because they were sold the idea that the injection would solve all their problems.

‘More worryingly, I’m beginning to see people who became addicted to the weight loss itself. For some, the sense of control or validation they felt led them to push their weight lower and lower and they’ve ended up with an eating disorder.’

While Emma insists this isn’t the situation for her daughter, she is aware of potential issues. ‘I know Hayley’s confidence and self-esteem improvements have come from her weight loss,’ she admits.

‘While I love how happy she is, I don’t like that it’s tied to her body image but then she’s not alone in that – we all feel more confident when we look good.

‘I’ve never bought up her weight with her, we only ever talk about it if she raises it and make sure I praise her for other things outside of her appearance. When she said she wanted to try them I did a lot of research online and yes, I had to pretend they were for me, but they’re from a reputable online chemist.’

Emma adds that she hasn’t thought too much about what they’ll do when Hayley gets to her target weight. ‘We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. I know we can go down to a maintenance dose but at some point she’ll have to come off them all together,’ she explains.

‘Right now, I make sure her diet is as healthy as I can and we exercise together, so I hope the injections are enough of a reset that maybe coupled with a growth spurt, she’ll never put the weight back on.’

However, regardless of Hayley’s well-meaning intentions, Dr Keenan warns that any parents thinking of getting weight loss injections illegally for their children should exercise extreme caution. ‘

Addressing childhood weight issues, particularly through medical interventions like weight loss drugs, is highly complex and must be approached with sensitivity and a strong, evidence-based framework,” she says.

‘For weight loss injections to have genuine long-term benefits for children, they would need to be integrated into a multidisciplinary care plan.’

*names have been changed to protect identities

‘Have you ever thought about getting pregnant?’

Emma Prach froze. She was just 17, her hair streaked with purple from experimenting at school, and unsure if she even wanted kids. 

But according to the doctor, having a baby could stop her endometriosis pain, which caused her to regularly vomit, cry and pass out.

‘The suggestion took my breath away’, Emma, now 21, tells Metro. ‘I felt so hopeless.’

An investigation by Metro can reveal that more than three quarters of women with endometriosis have been told to get pregnant by doctors. The condition impacts 1.5million women in the UK.

The finding comes despite the fact there is no clinical evidence to support pregnancy as a long-term solution.

In partnership with Endometriosis UK, Metro surveyed 1,073 women with endometriosis and found 79% with the debilitating condition were given this same solution, a figure the charity has labelled a healthcare ‘scandal’.

With no helpful medical advice, Emma wiped smudged makeup from her eyes and took the three-hour bus ride home to Lanarkshire.

Now, four years later, she relies on strong, painkillers such as naproxen and co-codamol to take the edge off.

It was a solution also offered to me at the age of 21, a year after my own diagnosis. My pain was so bad I would fall over when sharp lightning pains shot up my sides.

‘Just get pregnant,’ my gynaecologist said. ‘It stops the pain because you won’t get a period.’

I left my appointment and cried hysterically in the hospital car park, feeling utterly defeated. I’d waited weeks for that advice, and wasn’t even offered pain killers.

But being pregnant doesn’t put a stop to your symptoms, as Angie Newland, 52, discovered.

She’d had her first baby at 24 after doctors said she’d likely struggle to conceive due to her endometriosis, which causes fertility issues in around 30% of women.

‘Doctors said I wouldn’t be able to have children if I left it any longer because of how severe my endometriosis was,’ Angie tells Metro. ‘My pain didn’t stop straight away, and once I gave birth the pain when my periods started again was horrendous.

‘I tried the Mirena coil, HRT patches, tablets – nothing worked. So a consultant said to me “well, just have another baby”.’

‘I was absolutely horrified, having a baby didn’t improve my endometriosis, it actually made it 10 times worse,’ Angie adds.

‘Not only was I trying to raise my little girl, but I was also trying to cope with my endometriosis. It wasn’t manageable.’

Finally Angie underwent a hysterectomy at 30 which put a stop to her symptoms, and she now volunteers four hours a week on the Endometriosis UK helpline to support other women.

Doctors haven’t received endometriosis education

Pregnancy being pedalled as a cure or painkiller for the condition is likely a result of poor knowledge among doctors.

‘Pregnancy does not take the endometriosis away – there is no cure and pain can return after giving birth when your period returns,’ explains endometriosis specialist practitioner, Jo Hanley.

‘The majority of medical students are introduced to endometriosis as a part of wider gynaecology training, which is often far too simplistic, failing to cover the complexities, challenges and impact of the condition.’

She tells Metro specific endometriosis training isn’t mandatory for GPs, pharmacists, nurses and A&E workers, who are all points of contact for sufferers.

It’s not surprising almost half of all women visited their GP 10 or more times with symptoms prior to receiving a diagnosis, or that 52% visited A&E at least once, with fewer than a fifth being referred to gynaecology upon their first visit.

It’s also not mandatory for a hospital to have an accredited endometriosis centre which specialise in providing ‘high-quality care to women’ with the condition.

Jo believes this lack of education and suggestion of pregnancy as a solution to pain is ‘insensitive’ and ‘adds unnecessary pressure’ to patients who may not wish to have children at that time, or ever, as well as those struggling with their fertility’.

While 60 to 70% of women with the condition will be able to conceive naturally, a third of women may struggle with infertility or need to use alternative methods. The miscarriage rate also increases from one in five to one in four for women with endo.

What do healthcare professionals have to say?

Endometriosis UK is calling for all healthcare practitioners including GPs, gynaecologists and A&E staff to receive mandatory education on the condition. Faye Farthing, from the charity, tells Metro: ‘As one of the most common gynaecological conditions in the UK, it is a scandal that there continues to be such poor awareness and understanding of endometriosis.’

Metro’s findings were put to the Department of Health and Social Care (DHSC) and NHS England and both agreed pregnancy wasn’t a legitimate solution.

‘It’s unacceptable women are being given incorrect and inappropriate advice,’ a DHSC spokesperson tells Metro. ‘Women deserve to have it taken seriously, not dismissed and told to go get pregnant.’

DHSC said NICE guidelines had been updated to aid faster diagnoses, and £80 million has been invested to give GPs faster access to specialist gynaecology advice.

Dr Sue Mann, national clinical director in women’s health for NHS England, adds: ‘It’s unacceptable – no-one should be advised pregnancy as a medical treatment, it should only ever be a choice, made if, and when, a woman decides to – with the role of a clinician to facilitate informed choice.

All medical students graduating from this year (2024/25) onwards now must pass the General Medical Council’s Medical Licensing Assessment, which contains women’s health topics, including endometriosis.

It’s little reassurance for Emma, who still relies on hot water bottles to ease her pain. ‘I’ve been left with nothing,’ she says. ‘I’m not on any treatments right now, and the doctors actually discharged me from their care without telling me.

‘It was crazy that, when I was looking for support, I was offered something that quite literally takes over your life.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

It’s the early hours of the morning, and I can’t fall asleep. My mind is racing with thoughts of the darkest kind. 

I have battled with mental health problems for most of my life, having been diagnosed with autism, anxiety disorder and OCD at age 14. Being heavily bullied in school also dented my self-esteem and even resulted in me trying to take my own life.  

While regular sessions with a psychologist helped me to navigate these complicated feelings as a child, when I turned 18, the appointments stopped even though I was still gripped by depression.

As an adult, counselling was a great help, but I realised it wasn’t always to hand as quickly as I needed, due to NHS waiting lists being extremely long.  

Cue AI therapy, where data and users behaviour patterns are analysed so a bot can ask questions, offer advice, and suggest coping mechanisms to someone who might want it.

Understandably, it’s a practice cloaked in controversy. After all, can technology, no matter how intelligent, really support someone through any sort of mental health crisis? Is it safe? Is it even ethical? 

With all these questions swirling in my mind, as someone open to new ways of support, I decided to give it a try and downloaded Wysa, a chatbot that uses AI to provide mental health advice and support around the clock. The app is completely anonymous and free, but offers a paid-for plan with additional premium features, such as therapeutic exercises, sleep stories and meditations. 

Telling all to a robot

I’ve always struggled with self-doubt. I am constantly comparing myself to my non-identical twin brother, who I think is better looking than me, and experiencing a bad eczema flare-up this week has really affected my self-esteem. 

I admit this to my bot who is incredibly empathic, saying it is sorry to hear of my low self-esteem before asking me how my feelings impact my day-to-day life. 

I respond by saying I feel like I have no choice but to isolate myself from the outside world, which is hard because I don’t see my family and friends for days — sometimes weeks — on end, even though seeing my loved ones makes me happy and that they constantly reassure me when I feel down. 

My AI therapist suggests a thought reframing exercise and as soon as I agree, a list of tools — ranging from an assessment to manage my energy to a self-compassion exercise —  suddenly pop up at the bottom of the screen. I select the self-compassion task, which uses “positive intentions” to help the user tackle negative thoughts.

I then take a seven-minute meditation in which I close my eyes, focus on my breathing, smile and repeat positive phrases uttered by my Wysa expert. 

Opening my eyes, I feel surprisingly positive after a difficult day.

Wide awake club

Staring at my bedroom ceiling at 4am is quite normal for me. But on one particular day my mind becomes flooded with endless worry.

When I type about my sleep troubles and random anxiety to the bot, it replies in a compassionate tone, saying: “That sounds really tough”.

After admitting I never seem to sleep at a regular time due to my anxiety, Wysa suggests another thought reframing exercise to help ease some of my worries. I say I am nervous about a busy week of work coming up and missing a bunch of deadlines. 

Wysa suggests I am probably “catastrophising”, which is when someone expects the worst possible outcome to unfold. While the connection suddenly cuts out mid-conversation before Wysa can provide a solution, it’s clear to me that I am overthinking, although I do wonder how I’d cope with a sudden shut down if I had a longer issue to discuss.

Dealing with suicidal thoughts

I can’t remember a time in my life when I haven’t battled suicidal thoughts during certain events and these demons have returned after yet another relationship breakdown. 

Crying my eyes out, I admit to Wysa that I don’t want to be alive anymore. Its response is utterly heartwarming. “Nic, you are worth life. You are loved, cherished and cared for, even though you may not feel that way right now.”

With my eyes firmly fixed on these kind, AI-generated words, I realise that suicide isn’t the best course of action and that life is probably worth living. Concerned about my wellbeing, the bot provides me with a phone number for the Samaritans. 

Battling social anxiety 

While I’m okay seeing family and friends, the thought of encountering neighbours and other acquaintances frightens me. Turning to my app, I explain that I never know what to say to people. This is a feeling I experience day in and day out due to my autism. 

The advice given is constructive – just a simple smile or hello should do the trick. Although it may sound too simple to be true, I find it helpful because it shows that I don’t have to converse long with a stranger. 

Seeing old faces

Today is my nephew’s christening, and while I am excited to celebrate with my loved ones, I’m nervous about seeing loads of new and old faces. 

To build on the previous social anxiety tips,  I message the bot for advice on how I could make the day less overwhelming. Wysa quickly reassures me that it’s normal to find social events nerve-racking. 

I explain I never know how to start or maintain a conversation. Wysa recommends that I say something like it’s nice to see them and ask how they are. And if they ask how I am doing, the bot recommends saying something simple like, “I’ve been doing well, thanks”. 

I’m told a breathing exercise beforehand might also help, which helps me feel better prepared. 

Facing up to night-time terrors 

Ever since moving onto the maximum dosage of Sertraline a few weeks ago, I’ve been having nightmares most nights. 

From plane crashes to loved ones getting gravely ill, these horrible and random dreams have been disrupting my sleep pattern for weeks. After explaining to my AI therapist that these nightmares started after the change of medication, it admits that this is likely the cause and we go through another thought reframing exercise.

We speak about a recent dream involving my parents dying, which is a frequent worry of mine, as morbid as it sounds. 

Wysa says this is likely another symptom of catastrophising, but then the chat suddenly ends due to a connection error. I am left not knowing how to tackle these traumatising dreams, which leaves me feeling pretty let down and not sure what to do next.

Dealing with compulsions

Today, my latest impulse TikTok Shop purchase arrived in the post: a magic mop, which is perhaps the last thing you should buy when you have severe OCD.

I’ve already used it several times today, but I still think my floors are dirty, so I ask for OCD advice. The first thing the bot says to me is that it must be exhausting – and they’re right. I can’t believe I feel heard by an AI bot. 

We do another thought exercise where I discuss how my OCD makes me feel. Wysa says it sounds like a symptom of filtering, where someone focuses on the negative details of a situation and forgets all the positives. 

In this context, it says I could be looking for tiny specs of dirt that may not exist and tells me to remember that the majority of the floor is probably clean. This makes me feel better – for now at least, although I’m more than aware it’s a plaster rather than a cure. 

So was it worth it? 

While I don’t think AI can ever replace human psychologists and counsellors,  I’m surprised to admit that Wysa is actually a pretty handy tool and you sometimes forget you’re talking to a robot, not a human. 

Of course, it isn’t perfect. There were many times when a chat would suddenly end and when Wysa’s advice was repetitive. I alsofeel a bit paranoid that I’ve shared so much personal information with an AI chatbot, so I hope it is genuinely safe and secure. 

Either way, I had someone to speak to at some genuinely hard times, and I will continue using Wysa as an emotional support cushion. 

'We can't let AI therapists become acceptable'

Metro’s Assistant Lifestyle Editor Jess Lindsay believes we need to be far more wary of letting a bot look after our mental health. Here, she explains why.

‘In my opinion, an AI therapist is no more helpful than a list of motivational quotes. The bot may be able to say the right things, but when you’re at your lowest, you need more than hollow platitudes from a computer that doesn’t have the capacity to empathise.

Having dealt with chronic depression, anxiety, and ADHD throughout my life, I find the idea of having to receive help from a computer somewhat dystopian, and I’d feel like my concerns were being dismissed if this was offered to me – even as a supplementary solution.

Working through difficult issues requires a level of commitment from both yourself and the therapist, and why should I put in the effort when the other side is just a machine doing what it’s been programmed to do? Not only that, I know how to calm myself down when I’m having a panic attack, or take a walk when I’m stuck in my own head. To parrot NHS guidelines back to me without going deeper into why I feel like that seems like an insult to my intelligence.

While I absolutely understand the need for something to fill the gap when therapy and counselling is difficult to come by on the NHS, I worry that tools like this will be touted by the government as an acceptable (but most importantly in the eyes of government, cheaper) alternative when what’s desperately needed is funding and investment in the country’s mental health.

Even if AI is helpful to some, it’s a mere sticking plaster on a deeper societal wound.’

A version of this article was first published in September 2024.