A mole on my 24-year-old’s leg started bleeding – it was deadly melanoma

Marie Devereux - My daughter died from melanoma - it's important to know the signs
Marie (left) with daughter Natalie (right) (Picture: Marie Devereux)

I’ll never forget the day my life changed forever. The day I lost my daughter. 

It was November 11, 2022. I was with Natalie, by her bedside in hospital, when she passed away from melanoma. She was only 28.   

My heart was, and still is, broken. But I am doing all I can to make sure we continue to honour her one final request: That she will always be remembered.  

Natalie was a beautiful daughter. She was always cheerful and funny. She was a wonderful sister to Nick (who is non-verbal and classically autistic) and the two of them truly had a special bond.  

She was also an incredible friend and an outstanding teacher. Her students adored her but really she had a huge impact on everyone who she came into contact with. 

Find out more

You can support Marie’s fundraising in memory of Natalie, or find out more about The Banham Marsden March here. 

Mostly, my girl was kind. She took part in many charity challenges, including a skydive, the Three Peaks Challenge and a half marathon. She was generous, not just with money and fundraising, but with her time and love.  

When she told me that a mole on her leg (that she’d always had) had started bleeding in July 2018, I was worried. 

We were just about to go on a week-long holiday to France, but I insisted we get it sorted before we left. I secured her a GP appointment for the following morning. The doctor examined the mole, and I did my best to reassure Natalie it would all be OK. 

Marie Devereux - My daughter died from melanoma - it's important to know the signs
Natalie was terrified of the word ‘cancer’ and of what might lie ahead (Picture: Marie Devereux)

However, while we were away in France, we got a phone call to say Natalie would need further investigations when she came home. By the end of August, she’d had the mole removed and it was sent off for testing.   

A couple of weeks later, we were told she needed to come back into the hospital to speak with the doctor. We knew then it wasn’t going to be an ‘everything is fine’ meeting, but as scared as we both were, we tried to stay positive.  

Sitting in their office, the consultant told us that it was melanoma – a type of skin cancer that can spread to other parts of the body – and my world stopped.

Natalie was 24. She’d been on holidays abroad in the sun but she had never been on a sunbed, nor had she ever burnt herself. 

Understandably, Natalie was terrified of the word ‘cancer’ and of what might lie ahead. But she was also determined to stay strong.   

Surgery was needed to remove any remaining cancer cells around the area where her mole had once been and doctors told her she would be closely monitored with regular scans. 

For a while, they continuously came up clear and life continued as normal. Then in December 2019, a scan showed a new lesion in her lung.   

Marie Devereux - My daughter died from melanoma - it's important to know the signs
Marie and Natalie at the The Banham Marsden March in 2022 (Picture: Marie Devereux)

I remember Natalie turning to me with tears in her eyes and saying, ‘Mum, it’s now Stage 4’. Lost for words, we hugged each other tightly and decided we were in this together.  

She was referred to The Royal Marsden, a world-leading cancer centre, for radiotherapy, consisting of three doses over three consecutive weeks. 

By the third week, scans showed that the lung lesion had significantly shrunk. We were ecstatic – the radiotherapy had worked. Everything was looking positive. 

Natalie continued to have regular monitoring scans and then, sadly, a year later, a new lung lesion was detected. 

This time, she was treated with targeted therapy, where the proteins that control how cancer cells grow, divide, and spread are directly targeted. This was administered in the form of a tablet every day.

For 18 months, things were once again fine and there were no lesions present on her scans. But then the cancer returned a third time, leaving immunotherapy as her only option.  

Marie Devereux - My daughter died from melanoma - it's important to know the signs
Marie with some of Natalie’s close friends at the Banham Marsden March (Picture: Marie Devereux)

Unlike chemotherapy, which uses drugs to target and kill fast-growing cells, immunotherapy uses the body’s immune system to target cancerous cells. Natalie would begin having a combined dose of two drugs, every three weeks.  

She was amazing, never once complaining. She carried on with life and even continued to go back to work. 

She and I took part in The Banham Marsden March in May 2022, which saw us walk 15 miles together and raise just over £2,000. Crossing that finish line with my daughter will forever be one of my most special memories now. Natalie vowed to complete it every year. 

Unfortunately, just as she began her immunotherapy treatment that September, new lesions were detected on her brain and liver. The melanoma was attacking hard and fast, and Natalie began to deteriorate.  

She was taken ill at home, with worrying signs she could have swelling on the brain. We rushed her to the critical care unit, where doctors managed to get her stable. After a few days, however, we were told they couldn’t make her better. 

Natalie was amazingly brave and didn’t cry, complain or get angry, but accepted her fate.   

Marie Devereux - My daughter died from melanoma - it's important to know the signs
Natalie’s friends commemorated her with signs and pictures (Picture: Marie Devereux)

Checking for skin cancer

Dr Sagar Patel, a dermatology specialist at MyHealthcare Clinic, shares his advice on checking your moles.

  • A – asymmetry, when half the mole doesn’t match the other
  • B – border, when the outline of the mole is irregular, ragged or blurred
  • C – colour, when it varies throughout and/or there appears to be no uniform colour
  • D – diameter, if it’s greater than 6mm
  • E – evolving, or changes in the mole.

I was still in total shock. Everything had happened so quickly. Only a few days before she went into hospital for the last time she had been working at school as a teacher. Now, she was being moved to a ward and we were preparing to say goodbye. 

After four years of hard treatment, she passed away. Despite snow, around 240 people came to Natalie’s funeral to say goodbye. 

A further 250 people attended a separate church service her school put on just for her students and their parents. My heart ached to hear such wonderful things about her from both her students and colleagues. She would have been so humbled. 

Today, to keep Natalie’s memory alive, we are continuing to raise funds for The Royal Marsden Cancer Charity. This will go towards the hospital’s melanoma research, so we can find new treatments for patients like Natalie all around the world.    

I’ve since taken part in The Banham Marsden March for a second time, only this time I had my husband, Natalie’s boyfriend and 35 of Natalie’s closest friends, colleagues and family members by my side and we raised £15,000.   

Marie Devereux - My daughter died from melanoma - it's important to know the signs
Friends and relatives have raised money in Natalie’s name (Picture: Marie Devereux)

Last year, I walked the first 10 miles with a friend, and my husband and son joined me to walk the last five miles together.  

Taking part is not only an amazing way to raise awareness and funds, it’s also a chance to meet other people in the same position as you. 

When you’re grieving, there is a feeling of loneliness as often, people just don’t know what to say to you. I’ve now realised that I am not alone.   

To date, we’ve raised over £34,000 for The Royal Marsden Cancer Charity from friends and family members’ fundraising. 

Natalie’s cousins in Jersey ran the virtual London Marathon and organised a quiz night for over 100 people. Her friends, cousins and my husband have all taken part in half marathons and marathons, and I jogged 40 miles in January 2024. And we all took part in a 10k run for the first anniversary of her passing, too.   

I also found Natalie’s bucket list shortly after she died, which led me to sign up for a skydive in June last year – her birthday month – when she would have turned 30. 

I just hope Natalie would be touched to see that we’re carrying on her legacy, and we want to make sure there are no more stories that end like hers. 

So many people have moles and don’t worry about them or get them checked, but melanoma is a real issue. It’s important to be aware of the signs and symptoms. It really can happen to anyone, even my baby girl.  

This article was originally published April 26, 2024

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk. 

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M&S Collection black Leather Loafers
You’ll need to be quick getting your hands on the must-have shoe of the season! (Picture: Metro/M&S/Getty))

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Marks & Spencer’s brown suede loafers were a sell-out success. In fact, we never even saw them available online – that’s how fast they sold out. 

We have been patiently waiting for weeks on end for M&S to restock its popular flat shoes, which are a huge trend and have been for some time. 

Now, the moment has finally come. Well, kind of.

Though the brown suede version of the M&S Loafers are still sold out, M&S has released a pair of black Leather Loafers, which we believe will sell out soon. 

M&S Collection Leather Loafers

M&S Collection Leather Loafers

Crafted from super soft leather with M&S’ signature Insolia Flex, which provides a supportive footbed to wear for hours on end.The slip on design features a ruched detail around the toe, as well as a small 1.5cm heel. Available in sizes 3 to 8, including half sizes.

Buy Now for £55

The M&S Leather Loafers are hot property, and we have seen them worn by the likes of Kendall Jenner and Hailey Bieber in previous years.  The fashion firm turned to chunky Prada loafers, but now we are seeing a pivot to softer alternatives. 

The leather loafers are a smart, chic and versatile footwear staple to invest in. These loafers are made from black, yet super soft and high quality leather fabric, while the interior is fitted with M&S’ signature Insolia Flex material to support the footbed, which is paramount in a flat shoe when stopping the pavements for hours on end. 

These leather loafers are a flat shoe, but it offers slight elevation with its 1.5cm heel, which is oh-so subtle. 

These slip-on shoes feature ruched detail around the toe, as well as detailing on the roof of the foot to resemble the traditional Penny Loafer.

M&S Collection black Leather Loafers
We neeeeed to add these into our spring shoe collection. (Picture: Metro/M&S)

The classic designs are ultra versatile, as you can wear in the daytime, or night, as well as throughout the seasons. Pair with straight leg jeans, even ankle grazers, whether it’s barefoot or with a white ankle sock peering out for extra warmth, a simple T-shirt and blazer to see you from the office, to brunch with friends. 

You can layer on a cosy knitted jumper, swap the T-shirt for a shirt, maybe ditch the trousers for a mini or midi-length skirt, or a dress – the style options are endless.  

These loafers are available in sizes 3 to 8, including half sizes, though customers say these shoes fit true to size. 

We have added these loafers to our virtual basket because we think they will fly off the shelves, especially when we consider how popular the brown suede alternatives are, and the glowing reviews. 

One happy M&S shopper, Kay Ann, shared: ‘Lovely loafers that are both stylish and comfortable, and work for casual or office days, I have two pairs they are that fab.’

Another happy customer, who goes under the name Mummy Deb, added: ‘A super super soft leather shoe, it’s like wearing slippers. Only worn inside the house to wear them in. But it seems all good. No rubbing and looks quite stylish.’

While a  separate shopper, RoseeW, weighed in: ‘So comfy and soft- I usually prepare to get blisters when I wear-in loafers but these have caused no issues! So smart- my new everyday shoe.’

Complete the quiet luxury look, on a high street budget, with M&S’ impressive collection of designer-inspired handbags too. 

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Resident agony aunt Coleen Nolan has advice for a reader who’s worried about telling her friend she can’t go on her hen party as it would mean going into lots of debt

Coleen Nolan advises a married reader who is very close friends with a younger colleague, and has been accused of being a cheat

Coleen Nolan advises a reader in her 40s who is planning on going away with her new boyfriend but feels worried about getting intimate after being with the same man for so long

It seems it’s not just women who get cramps (Picture: Metro)

We’ve heard of death grip syndrome and buried penises, but there’s a new phenomenon we need to add to our roster: sperm cramps.

That’s right gents, it seems women aren’t the only ones who suffer with some cramps in their intimate area – although us ladies still have it bad.

The term itself is a tad misleading because, well, sperm can’t cramp, it’s more of a slang phrase for discomfort.

Essentially, if you’ve got some impressive stamina and you’re having prolonged sex, cramps in your balls could be coming (sorry) your way.

But are they anything to worry about? And how common are they? We’ve got the long and short of it right here…

What are sperm cramps?

‘Sperm cramps’ is a colloquial term used to describe discomfort or aching pain in the testicles, lower abdomen, or perineal area (the region between your anus and genitals).

‘The pain is typically described as a dull, aching, or cramping sensation and it can sometimes feel similar to muscle cramps or mild testicular discomfort,’ GP Dr Suzanne Wylie tells Metro.

‘They often occur in relation to ejaculation or when you are aroused for a long time without finishing,’ she adds. ‘It’s thought to be linked to the temporary congestion of blood in the reproductive organs.’

You can also get these cramps after sex but this is apparently less common. And while there’s not any extensive clinical data, Dr Wylie says her experience is that it’s pretty common.

To check, we did some field research of our own (aka we asked some of our guy friends). Our (admittedly small) sample of six male mates found two had experienced sperm cramps, so clearly, it’s not just an internet term, but a real-life issue that deserves closer attention.

Are sperm cramps anything to worry about?

If you’re concerned – don’t be. Dr Wylie says that in most cases sperm cramps are ‘harmless’ and nothing to worry about.

‘They are a temporary and benign pain that usually resolves on its own,’ she explains. If you have this pain alongside swelling, redness or fever though, the medical advisor, for IQ Doctor, suggests you see a doctor quickly.

But there are different types of pain that you can get in your balls, and some aren’t as innocent as sperm cramps, so it’s important to know the difference.

‘Testicular pain can mean you have a more serious underlying condition,’ the doctor explains.

‘Sudden, severe testicular pain could mean you have testicular torsion – where your ball rotates and twists the internal cord that supplies the blood flow to your scrotum, cutting off the blood supply. This is a medical emergency, so seek help.’

Dr Wylie also says that ‘persistent or worsening pain’ that doesn’t resolve itself could mean you have an infection, a hernia (when tissue or an organ bulges through a muscle wall into a cavity it’s not meant to be in) or a tumour. You may need surgery if this is the case.

If you experience pain after injuring your testicle, this could mean it’s bleeding internally or rupturing – again both require medical attention.

Other causes of tescticular pain:

  • Epididymitis: Inflammation of the epididymis – the tube at the back of your testicle acting as a storage space for mature sperm – often due to infection.
  • Varicocele: Enlarged veins in the scrotum, which can cause a dull ache.
  • Hydrocele: Fluid accumulating around the testicle, sometimes causing discomfort.

If you have any concerns about your testicles, get advice from a doctor.

Who gets sperm cramps and can you stop them?

While they can affect men of every age, older chaps can breathe a sigh of relief, because sperm cramps are more common in younger men.

Teenagers and guys in their early twenties are most prone to these dull aches and pains. ‘This is due to more frequent arousal and fluctuating hormone levels,’ Dr Wylie adds.

Even though they’re nothing to worry about, it would be nice to ease the uncomfortable sensation, and there are ways to do this.

‘Lying down, applying a warm compress to the area, gentle stretching, or engaging in light physical activity to encourage blood flow redistribution can all make you feel better,’ she adds.

Another simple method to ease that pain, is to ejaculate, so feel free to practice some self-love.

If all else fails, Dr Wylie also suggests over-the-counter pain relief like paracetamol or ibuprofen.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

Nobody’s Child has dropped its new range of ultra-flattering spring midi dresses, so how did they fare when our dress-averse head of shopping tried on four?

Models wearing Oodie pjs that are launching now.
We’ve never looked forward to getting into bed more… (Picture: Metro/Linkby/Getty)

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Seeing as there are now just few days to go before the clocks go back on March 30, we’re dreaming of an undisturbed night sleep for the other 364 days of the year.

There are a number of factors that can contribute to a poor night’s sleep, from your sleep environment to your diet, and excessive caffeine intake, as well as your bedding and nightwear.

We have tried various sleep aids, thankfully, Oodie is pulling out all the stops to help combat our sleepless nights. 

The brand, which is best known for its plush Oodie Hoodie, is set to launch a new temperature regulating pyjama collection, which we predict will be a sell-out success to rival the signature loungewear staple. 

Models wearing new Oodie pjs that are available during National Sleep Week
Perfect for the warmer nights, we’re obsessing over these sets from Oodie. (Picture: Metro/Oodie/Linkby)

Oodie has a pyjama collection already, but the line is expanding to include temperature regulating designs, which is simply genius in our books. 

Whether you struggle to sleep in the summer when the heatwave hits, are going through the menopause, or maybe you’re just a human hot water bottle when you’re snuggled up in your duvet, these pj’s will be your saving grace.

The collection will feature both warming and cooling nightwear options, both designed to regulate your body temperature to a comfortable degree. 

The Cooling Range has been specifically designed for hot sleepers, and to wear in the warmer months.  

The Cooling Range pjs have been crafted from ultra-breathable modal blend, which has been made from beech trees. This fabric is not only soft against the body, which prevents any irritating fabrics from waking you up mid-snooze, but it is moisture-wicking to pull sweat away from the body. This is a key feature, as there is nothing worse than overheating, laying in your own damp pyjamas, only for the body to cool down – as it does when the body sweats – and be left shivering cold. 

Model wearing new Oodie pjs that are available during National Sleep Week
Regulate your temperature with ease in the brand-new, Oodie pjs. (Picture: Metro/Oodie/Linkby)

Oodie’s pyjamas collection will also include the Warming Range, which helps those who feel the cold at night and can’t settle without being toasty in bed. 

This collection has been designed from brushed bamboo blend, which offers the desired insulation, but are also temperature regulating too. This fabric is also said to be twice as warm as traditional cotton pyjamas, boasts antibacterial properties and is odour resistant. 

Oodie has stayed true to its style with the new designs as they come in bold and playful prints, though we expect nothing less from the Australian brand. 

The nightwear will be available in five prints, which include a cloud pattern inspired by the bestselling Oodie Original, as well as heart candy, ditsy and checker print, as well as a tie dye version. But, you can mix and match your prints too. 

Models wearing new Oodie pjs that are available during National Sleep Week
We also love the trouser versions available too. (Picture: Metro/Oodie/Linkby)

All styles in the collection feature a contrast waistband, which not only help them to stay in place during your sleep, without causing any discomfort, but it also adds another impressive stylistic feature to the design.  

Oodie’s temperature regulating pyjamas are available in short sleeve pyjama tops, and shorts, as well as long sleeve tops and long length pyjama trousers with a wide leg and cuffed ankle.  Quite frankly, we want one of each to see us through every season. 

The price ranges from £39 for the tops and £45 for the bottoms, which makes a total of £84 for one complete set. 

We predict Oodie’s upcoming drop will sell out fast, so bookmark the date in your diary, set a reminder, and get ready to add to basket. 

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A roundup of perfumes on sale at Amazon on a marbled background.
From Gucci and Calvin Klein to Marc Jacobs and Jimmy Choo, we’ve found the top Amazon fragrance deals to shop now (Picture: Amazon/Metro)

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There are multiple national days that have cropped in our calendar over the years, and one we’re very much on board with is National Fragrance Day, which falls on 21st March. 

National Fragrance Day falls just before Mother’s Day, and while many of us will be buying our mum’s their favourite scent, it’s also a great time to gift yourself a scented treat (or two!). 

And where better to shop for less? Amazon, of course. The mega-retailer stocks a variety of leading fragrance brands for men, women, as well as genderless designs, from Paco Rabanne, Gucci, to Marc Jacobs, and many more. 

With up to 70% off select fragrances, these are bargains not to be missed. But it’s unknown how long the sale, as well as stock, will last. 

Whether you’re replacing your beloved signature scent, expanding your fragrance collection or after the perfect gift for someone you love, we’ve found the best fragrance deals not to miss on Amazon

Did we almost forget to mention Amazon Prime members are eligible for speedy delivery? If you are not yet an Amazon Prime member you can sign up for a 30-day free trial, before paying £8.99 a month thereafter. 

Yves Saint Laurent Black Opium Eau De Parfum 30ml

A bold and addictive fragrance, Black Opium by Yves Saint Laurent is a seductive blend of rich coffee, sweet vanilla, and warm white flowers. This opulent scent is sexy, deep, and long-lasting, hence why it makes the perfect statement fragrance for evening wear.

shop £51.75 (save £15.52)

Jimmy Choo Original Eau de Parfum 60ml

Jimmy Choo Original is a modern fragrance that perfectly balances fresh and fruity notes. With its blend of pear, orchid, and toffee, this captivating scent is an ideal choice for those on the hunt for an elegant, warm and sweet scent.

shop £40 (save £18.91)

DKNY Be Delicious Eau de Parfum 30ml

A vibrant and fresh fragrance, DKNY Be Delicious boasts bold notes of crisp green apple blended with floral and woody notes. This scent is perfect for everyday wear, younger adults, and the spring months.

shop £29.94 (save £10.06)

Vera Wang Princess Eau de Toilette 50ml

With over 53,000 reviews Vera Wang Princess needs to be on your radar. It is a delicate mix of vanilla, exotic guava, and rich dark chocolate. Playful yet sophisticated, this scent is ideal for those who love a sweet, feminine fragrance. Plus, the heart shaped bottle with the crown lid needs to be on full display.

shop £13.68 (save £39.32)

Daisy Marc Jacobs EDT Spray 50ml

Fresh, floral, and effortlessly charming, Daisy by Marc Jacobs is a sweet, yet fresh fragrance perfect for day and night wear. It boasts top notes of wild strawberry and violet leaves, middle floral notes of jasmine, gardenia, and violet petals, which are undercut by long-lasting base notes of white woods and vanilla.

shop £38.28 (save £24.22)

Jimmy Choo Flash Eau de Parfum 60ml

Flash by Jimmy Choo is a blend of bold scent profiles, including strawberry, pink pepper, tangerine, and floral accords, such as jasmine, white lily and tuberose. It’s sweet, spicy, and multi-dimensional, a standout scent for nights out.

shop £26.10 (save £19.90)

Calvin Klein Eternity Moment for Women Eau de Parfum 50ml

A romantic, light, floral fragrance, Eternity Moment is a mix of lychee, pomegranate, and soft peony. This delicate scent is ideal for those who love fresh perfumes, and everyday wear. For under £30, it’s a bargain buy.

shop £27 (save £32)

Bloom by Gucci Eau de Parfum 100ml

Gucci Bloom is a rich, floral and feminine fragrance. The floral bouquet draws on tuberose, jasmine and Rangoon Creeper accords to make an everyday scent that is light, perfect for spring, but not too heady.

shop £69.97 (save £33.03)

Paco Rabanne Paco Lady Million Eau De Perfume 80ml

It’s an iconic scent and one many people wear, but that shouldn’t stop you from investing in the hugely popular Paco Robanne fragrance. A bold and luxurious scent, Lady Million combines notes of raspberry, orange blossom, and honey for a powerful femininity. Let’s not forget the gold ingot-inspired packaging, which is a huge talking point in itself.

shop £65.59 (save £5.91)

Si by Giorgio Armani Eau de Parfum 100ml

Elegant and sensual, Si by Giorgio Armani is a blend of blackcurrant, chypre and floral accords. This timeless feminine fragrance is perfect for women after a long-lasting, everyday scent that holds its own in a room full of potent fragrances.

shop £86.85 (save £36.76)

We need everything…

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Kitty Underhill - TikTok 'fat filter' KittyUnderhill (Picture: Derek Bremner @del_photos).jpg
It’s clear that many TikTok users view being in a bigger body as some kind of punchline (Picture: Derek Bremner)

I opened TikTok this week and was in absolute shock.

I’m used to seeing different trends going viral, but all I saw as I scrolled was video after video of users applying a ‘chubby filter’ to their pictures filled my feed. 

Unfortunately, it is exactly as it sounds – and it brought back painful memories.

Users upload their photos, and the filter uses AI to show them what they would look like if they were fat. Those who have used it often accompany their post with a comment about how funny they found the images. 

It’s clear that many TikTok users view being in a bigger body as some kind of punchline.

This, sadly, is nothing new. But that doesn’t make it ok. 

Many of us grew up on negative media representations of fat people, where fat people were mostly depicted as the butt of the joke

I know I did. When I was younger and going through disordered eating, screens were filled with comedic depictions of fatness – with films like Shallow Hal, The Nutty Professor, and Friends, which had a story arc about a character’s previously overweight self – ‘Fat Monica’. 

FRIENDS -- "The One Where the Stripper Cries" -- Episode 11 -- Aired 2/5/2004 -- Pictured: (l-r) Courteney Cox Arquette as Monica, Jennifer Aniston as Rachel, Matthew Perry as Chandler -- Photo by: NBCU Photo Bank
At one point, someone referenced Monica’s old weight, and I realised it was exactly the same as mine (Picture: NBCUniversal via Getty Images)

In each of these examples, snipes about the fat character’s body size were either accompanied by laugh tracks, or met with raucous laughter in the cinema.

This instilled one message in me as a teenager – being fat was something to jeer at, and that at all costs I had to avoid being fat so that I didn’t experience what Fat Monica did. 

At one point, someone referenced Monica’s old weight, and I realised it was exactly the same as mine. 

It felt like the media had taught me that my body, because it was not thin, was meant to be laughed at.

This was reinforced by my first romantic experience. When I was sixteen, I had my first kiss in the woods with someone I trusted and thought I loved. 

Kitty Underhill - TikTok 'fat filter'
I work hard to love my body (Picture: Kitty Underhill)

But I found out later that he hadn’t chosen the cover of trees to be romantic, but that, but because he didn’t want to be seen with someone who looked like me. 

He was worried about being mocked by his peers for kissing someone who he thought was fat, and didn’t fit into the body type that the media had taught him was desirable. 

And 16-year-old me, while hurt, didn’t even think to question his reasoning, because society and culture seemed to reinforce that he was right.

As the years went on, and as I worked to recover from disordered eating, countless depictions of fatness told me the same. 

That the body I had worked so hard to love, despite all the societal messaging telling me I should hate my body, was still a joke. 

This ‘fat filter’ trend is a new iteration of this same derision. 

Kitty Underhill - TikTok 'fat filter'
It doesn’t give them any insight into what it means to be fat in 2025, because it’s all fake (Picture: Kitty Underhill)

Instead of characters on screens, and actors using fat suits or CGI, people are taking that same fatphobic rhetoric into their own hands by applying a filter to their own photos. 

And when, alongside it, they post nasty comments about the larger image of themselves that the AI creates, they show that they think being fat is inherently funny and something to be ridiculed – it invites others to laugh with them. 

It doesn’t give them any insight into what it means to be fat in 2025, because it’s all fake. All another big joke. 

When the media, whether it’s TV or TikTok, makes fun of bigger body sizes, this has a malignant effect on how we perceive fat people, and also how fat people are treated. 

A study from The Lancet – a peer-reviewed general medical journal – found that negative portrayals of fat people in media not only made peoples’ views of fat peoples worse, but also risked encouraging stigmatising behaviours (for example, bullying, abuse and discrimination) towards fat people.  

Kitty Underhill - TikTok 'fat filter' EBP_KittyUnderhill (Picture: Esme Buxton @esmebuxtonphotography).jpg
This isn’t just some silly little trend, or something to be dismissed (Picture: Esme Buxton)
Comment nowWhat do you think about the TikTok ‘fat filter’? Have your say in the comments belowComment Now

This is why trends like the Fat Filter trend are so harmful – it encourages and normalises the idea that fat people deserve this kind of nasty treatment, and in doing so, perpetuates fatphobic behaviour.

This goes beyond social media, and has real world consequences. This kind of trend affects how fat people are treated, and will also have a hugely negative knock on effect for peoples’ body image. 

And when you consider that young people spend an average of five hours and 24 minutes engaged in social media activity, that means teenagers are at greater risk of seeing more of this body negative content.

So no, this isn’t just some silly little trend, or something to be dismissed. It can truly harm people. 

What gives me faith in humanity is that in some of the comments in the videos, people were fighting back, saying how people using the filter were exposing themselves as ‘mean girls’. It’s a glimmer of hope that we are not taking these nasty jokes lying down, even if this filter has gained a great deal of traction.

No matter what a trend is telling you, fat bodies are not for peoples’ amusement. They are deserving of love, care and enjoyment.

And no filter should change that. 

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk

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