Princess Rajwa of Jordan switched up her shoe game in ‘powerful’ knee-high boots as she stepped out alongside Princess Eugenie for a visit to Springfield University Hospital for Mental Health in London.

Princess Eugenie stunned in a silky slip skirt and knee-high boots on a royal engagement with Princess Rajwa of Jordan, visiting the Springfield University Hospital for Mental Health in London on Monday 13 October.

The Princess of Wales recycled her Christmas 2022 fit-and-flare coat dress and looked amazing while visiting the Northern Ireland Fire & Rescue Service’s new Learning and Development College.

Metro journalists select and curate the products that feature on our site. If you make a purchase via links on this page we will earn commission – learn more

Sick of chocolate Advent calendars? On the hunt for something different?

Alternative Advent calendars have become somewhat of a staple in recent years, with people ditching their chocolate-filled windows for something a bit more luxe.

From food to booze, socks to stationary, there’s so many more exciting things we can count down to Christmas Day with – so we’ve rounded up a few of our favourites.

Although to note, we’ve not included beauty advent calendars in this roundup as we’ve already covered some of the best here.

With top offerings from the likes of Grind coffee, Bohomoon jewellery and St Eval candles, there’s truly plenty to discover with this selection, best suited to whatever hobby, pastime or cravings you may have.

One we’ve already nabbed for ourselves is the St Eval Tealight Advent Calendar, yours for an affordable £50.

Decorated with a breathtaking scene of the North Cornish coast with all the magical sea creatures that reside there, this advent calendar features a selection of 24 gorgeously scented tealights to discover behind each door, as well as a gold-dusted tealight holder.

Love a tipple? NIO has always been a top cocktail contender for us, and their new Advent calendar has us craving the taste of negronis and margaritas over ice.

Worth over £155, the NIO advent calendar is filled with 24 delicious (and satisfyingly strong!) cocktails to enjoy each day leading up to Christmas, from core classics like the much-loved Old Fashioned to festive twists like the Christmas Margarita.

Ready to find your festive favourite? Explore our top alternative Advent calendar picks below.

Best alternative Advent calendars

St Eval Tealight Advent Calendar

This stunning St Eval Christmas Tealight Advent Calendar has totally captured my heart, and my very own is currently displayed and waiting patiently to be opened come December. Decorated with a breathtaking scene of the North Cornish coast with all the magical sea creatures that reside there, this advent calendar features a selection of 24 gorgeously scented tealights to discover behind each door, as well as a gold-dusted tealight holder.

shop £50

NIO Cocktails Advent Calendar – 24 cocktail box

Worth over £155, the NIO advent calendar is the cocktail lover's dream, filled with 24 delicious (and satisfyingly strong!) cocktails to enjoy each day leading up to Christmas. From from core classics like the much-loved Old Fashioned to festive twists like the Christmas Margarita, there's so much to enjoy in this tempting collection.

shop £135

Papier 24 Days of Desk Delights

The stationary lover will adore this 24 Days of Desk Delights Advent calendar from Papier, which has sold out fast on previous years. Even bigger and brighter than last year’s box, it’s filled with mini bestsellers and new stationery surprises to enjoy, and worth over £200, it's a real treat to behold.

shop £140

Grind Advent Calendar

Count down to Christmas in style with Grind's tempting coffee advent calendar, featuring 12 days of different speciality single-origin coffees to enjoy, all grown sustainably, sourced ethically from small-scale farms, and expertly hand-roasted by us in London. Take your pick from bean or ground and enjoy a unique brew every day, from a vibrant Chinese coffee to a classic Brazilian to a sweet Guatemalan.

shop £29.95

Bohomoon 2025 Advent Calendar

Treat yourself to some sparkly somethings with the Bohomoon 2025 Advent Calendar, packed to the brim with stunning pieces to brighten up your festive season over 12 days. Featuring four exclusive, unreleased items, each treasure in the calendar is selected to bring a little sparkle, making it a perfect treat for you or a loved one this Christmas!

shop £149

SOCKSHOP 25 Pair Bamboo Christmas Advent Calendar

Socks have become an integral part of Christmas celebrations over the years, so why not really lock in with a sock Advent calendar from SOCKSHOP? In men and women's designs, this luxe Advent calendar gives 24 days of socks, boasting a mix of Christmas sock styles and colourful everyday designs to enjoy all year round, all made from a soft, breathable high quality bamboo blend for a cool, comfortable feel.

shop £59.99

Cult Pens 2025 Stationery Advent Calendar Turquoise Edition

This Cult Pens Stationery Advent Calendar is full to the brim with stationary surprises set to upgrade your stationary game. Gorgeously presented in a Japanese Kintsugi-inspired box, you'll find an array of useful things which 'will make a mark, rub out a mark, store a mark-maker, decorate things you might have marked, or are happy to be marked.' What's not to love?

shop £95

Drinks by the Dram Gin Advent Calendar (2025 Edition) 75cl

If you're a gin lover or know somebody who is, this Drinks by the Dram Gin Advent Calendar is set to be an unforgettable treat (despite how many gins you neck!). It's filled to the brim with 25 delicious 30ml gin samples from some of the best producers out there, ready to be enjoyed each day – even on Christmas day itself!

shop £74.95

12 Days of Clay: Pott'd 2025 Advent Calendar

Looking for something a bit more hands on to get stuck into on the lead up to Christmas? The 12 Days of Clay: Pott'd Advent Calendar is an excellent choice. Over 12 days, you'll discover everything you need to create unique Christmas keepsakes and decorations out of clay. Quite simply adorable.

shop £59

There’s really something for everyone with these alternative Advent calendars.

Follow Metro across our social channels, on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram

Share your views in the comments below

MORE: Kim Kardashian’s favourite Armani foundation now has 20% off at LookFantastic

MORE: ‘Couldn’t feel my legs!’ This Ann Summers sex toy is giving customers the most intense orgasms

MORE: We gave Huawei’s new GT6 watch a whizz, and here are honest thoughts of the new smart watch

Striding into the Metro office, Kenneth Erhahon, better known as Shocka, has a contagious smile on his face. Some might feel it’s at odds with what he is here to discuss — being sectioned four times — but the 37-year-old became a mental health advocate to demonstrate that it’s possible to still live a joyful life.

From 2008, Shocka was in the rap group Marvell, which he formed with Vertex and Double S. They were a successful trio, becoming the support act for Chip, Skepta and Diversity on sell-out tours, while an average day saw them bump into stars like Rihanna and Drake at the studio. 

Things were going perfectly until Marvell’s first single came out; it didn’t meet expectations, and the group was dropped by their label in 2011. 

The brutal nature of the industry caused Shocka to spiral. ‘I lost my sense of reality. It was like I was playing an arcade driving game, in that I was controlling the car, but I wasn’t in it. It was the scariest feeling in the world,’ he tells Metro. He wasn’t sleeping, stopped caring about his appearance (‘I wore the same green jacket and G-SHOCK watch every day’), and was either speaking nonsensical thoughts or going completely silent. 

One day in 2012, Shocka was screaming at home and was told by his family to calm down. ‘No one could snap me out of it,’ he remembers. His uncle, a doctor, recognised he was having a psychotic episode, so he called the emergency services. 

Living with stigma

Shocka was sectioned, which he says is the right decision, but adds it was a frightening experience. ‘I was taken from the ambulance to a detention room and left alone overnight. I didn’t know where I was. I thought, “This is it, I’m dead”,’ he recalls.

‘After three days, I started coming back to myself, and assumed I was okay to go home, but the nurses wouldn’t allow it.’ Shocka says a ‘little scuffle’ ensued before he passed out after being injected. ‘I woke up in an unrecognisable space that they dragged or carried me into. It had a little flap on the door, and my mom was looking through it. I can still remember the concerned face.’ Shocka was diagnosed with manic depression, but has since been given a paranoid schizophrenia diagnosis.

Talking about how he passed the time during his four sectionings, which each lasted up to two and a half weeks, he explains: ‘I was left to my own devices so I would walk up and down the corridor.’ 

As well as the boredom, Shocka recalls the ‘eerie smell’. ‘It’s how you’d imagine the old haunted movies that play on BBC One would smell. I was speaking at a school the other day, and it had the same scent, which triggered me. Luckily, I was in the staff room, so I had space to compose myself.’

The stories behind the headlines

Hi, I’m Claie Wilson, Metro’s deputy editor.

At Metro, we’re committed to taking readers beyond the headlines with fresh perspectives on the biggest stories of the day. You can read more in-depth features like this one with our News Updates newsletter.

With expert analysis and first-hand accounts of the moments and issues shaping our world, our features inspire, educate and give you the bigger picture.

Sign up now to get the top headlines – and the stories behind them – delivered straight to your inbox every day.

Despite the harrowing nature of his stay, what scared Shocka most was being back home. He says that, as there was a lack of education around mental health where he grew up, people made judgments. ‘When we saw people speaking to themselves on the streets, we’d be told: “Stay away from that crazy person. They’re losing their mind”, with no acknowledgement of what their full story may be,’ says Shocka.

Whether he could recover was another concern; he vividly remembers going on Google to find evidence of a Black man who’d been sectioned and then went on to live a happy life. The search was unfruitful. ‘I didn’t think the cycle could be broken,’ says Shocka, who was most recently sectioned in 2022 after his mother died from cancer. 

Part of the problem, he believes, is ‘no aftercare’. ‘Prisoners get more help, support and rehabilitation than people with mental health issues,’ claims Shocka. 

He continues: ‘There’s a common theme amongst all the patients that you’re viewed as less than human, like the staff are just putting up with us in the weirdo section. It’s a feeling you get rather than anything in particular.’

The bigger picture

Kadra Abdinasir has worked in mental health policy for over a decade, and tells Metro that ‘Black people face some of the harshest inequalities in the mental health system, and tend to come into contact under coercion rather than intervention.’ The latest figures published by the NHS show that Black people are detained at four times the rate of white people.

This is even though they are more likely to need earlier support, as Black people experience structural inequities disproportionately that can contribute to poorer mental health outcomes, such as living in lower-income households, housing insecurity, and facing greater rates of unemployment, incarceration and school exclusions.

To combat the issue, Kadra is part of a team who’ve produced the Black Mental Health Manifesto. They aim to ‘break the cycle of a broken system which has continued to fail Black people when they are at their most vulnerable.’ Today, the document, originally published in spring 2024, is in parliament, presenting the key asks. This timing is important as a revived mental health bill is in its final stages, and they want to ensure it commits to tackling racial inequalities. 

The Black Mental Health Manifesto

The Black Mental Health and Wellbeing Alliance, of which Mind is a supporter, is holding the parliamentary launch of its Black Mental Health Manifesto, which has six key asks:

1. The government should develop and implement a comprehensive strategy to eradicate racism from society and appoint a cabinet-level minister to oversee this.
2. The government must prioritise the reform of the Mental Health Act 1983.
3. The government should put an end to ‘hostile environment’ policies, which harm or exacerbate mental health problems amongst refugees, asylum-seekers and migrants in the UK.
4. All NHS Trusts, VCSE (voluntary and community sector organisations) and mental health service providers should embed NHS England’s Patient and Carer Race Equality Framework (PCREF) by March 2025.
5. The Department of Education should work with racialised communities to develop and embed an anti-racist and diverse curriculum that incorporates the histories and contributions of all racialised communities in the UK.
6. Policymakers, academic institutions, and funders should actively invest in and engage with community research conducted by and for Black communities in a meaningful way.

For more information, you can visit here. The initiative is being supported by Black Minds Matter and Bayo.

Explaining why policies need to address Black mental health specifically, Shocka uses a childhood memory: ‘When we played football at school, whichever team was doing badly would get given good players to level it back out. That’s how humanity should be. Whoever is struggling should get the most help.’

‘If we get things right for the people that face the harshest inequalities in the mental health system, we get it right for everybody,’ Kadra adds, pointing out that early intervention is key. ‘Black children made up 36% of those in mental health hospitals, but just 5% of those in community services. We talk about the school-to-prison pipeline as a young Black man, but the school-to-mental health system is often hidden.

‘Why do their needs only come up at the crisis point?’ she asks. ‘Schools and community services should pick up earlier and talk to them, but instead, they are seen as badly behaved and given a response like school exclusion.’

Road to recovery

Kadra explains that ‘stigma’ around mental health also stops Black people coming forward. ‘They fear that getting a diagnosis might limit their job opportunities or lead to interventions from public bodies such as children’s services. Too often, Black communities face greater scrutiny and punitive responses instead of care and compassion,’ she says.

‘Racism is toxic to mental health, so they turn to the system, but then they are less likely to have positive recovery journeys. Sometimes the professionals have stigmatising attitudes towards Black communities, leading to discrimination.’ There is a notion that Black people are ‘strong and resilient’ so should get on with life’s traumas, which Kadra believes is entrenched within healthcare. 

‘The services aren’t culturally competent. A lot of the workforce in the mental health space is white, middle-aged professionals, and they have a Eurocentric therapy approach, where you sit in front of somebody and talk, but some prefer integrating it into a creative activity or talking anonymously online,’ she explains.

Hopeful future

Shocka is open about his story because he wants to take the shame out of sectioning. He is doing this through various means, including a TEDx talk, his music releases, a YouTube series, A Section of Your Life, and a book of the same name, which features poems written during his last hospital stay.

‘If people want to know what it looks like to get sectioned multiple times, build yourself back up and have a good life, I want them to think of me,’ he says. ‘I show the possibility, but I want the next generation to take it to the next level. I hope there are more mental health advocates who are sectioned just once, and they learn amazing tools that I couldn’t figure out.’

Kadra adds: ‘The diversity of the UK needs to be reflected in decision-making and racism needs to be combated. We also want to see more investment in local organisations, which can build trusting relationships with communities, and more data on the issues, so we can get a clearer picture of what needs fixing.

‘If these things were instilled, there would be less disparity between white and Black people, feeling comfortable to talk about their mental health, and they would get the same quality of service.’

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Josie.Copson@metro.co.uk 

Share your views in the comments below.

It was six years ago that Gerard McAliece first noticed that his nose was exponentially growing in size.

Now 68, he initially accepted his condition as his new reality – but things came to a head when he was no longer able to kiss his wife, Carol.

He also became increasingly self-conscious – and was particularly nervous about his grandchildren being judged by peers over his appearance.

‘It just kept growing and growing and, as much as possible, I tried to ignore it,’ Gerard, a retired IBM employee from Kilmalcolm, shares.

‘People began to stare, and some would turn away, but my view was: this is me. Take me as I am.

‘The younger kids were the worst. I mean no harm to them, but they have no guile at that age, and no filters. I used to really worry at my grandchildren’s birthday parties – what do their wee pals think?’

At this point, he decided to seek medical help – but his concerns were initially dismissed.

He recalls: ‘They asked if I could breathe and I said “yes,” and they said: “that’s okay then.” After that, I didn’t discuss it with my GP as I didn’t think they would do anything about it, as they would deem it cosmetic.’

Not wanting to appear ‘pushy,’ Gerard initially accepted this answer, noting that he generally didn’t ‘expect things to be done’ for him as there were ‘more important things going on.’

But after Carol recognised that the situation was becoming completely untenable, they decided to contact a private clinic together. It was at this point that doctors diagnosed Gerard with Rhinophyma, a condition that sees patients present with severe swelling, redness and lumps.

According to the British Association of Dermatologists, it happens as ‘there is formation of scar-like tissue and the sebaceous glands (which produce oil on the skin) get bigger.’

The guidance adds: ‘The condition is mainly seen in those who have rosacea, a rash that can affect the cheeks, forehead and nose,’ though it notes that the reasons behind it are still not fully understood.

At this point, the tissue on Gerard’s nose had grown so much that it was hanging down over his mouth and obstructing a large part of his face.

And so, Gerard and Carol sought the help of Glasgow’s Ever Clinic after they’d researched similar cases the professionals had treated.

At his first consultation, Gerard instantly felt completely ‘at ease.’ Doctors decided upon a surgery that would remove the excess skin and correct his nose to make it more proportional to his face.

‘They said it was the biggest job they had ever tackled and that it was going to be a real challenge, but that, hopefully, they would be able to do it in one session, which they did, although the operation lasted more than four hours,’ he says.

‘I had no idea of time during the surgery and, towards the end, the local anaesthetic was starting to wear off. They gave me a little more.’

Post-surgery, Gerard is over the moon with the results, and says that it’s ‘totally turned’ his ‘life around.’

He adds: ‘Carol says that I’m back to being the man that I used to be. I’m now talking to people, going for a pint and enjoying meals in restaurants, which we haven’t done for years.

‘If there is anyone out there in the position I was in, my advice to them would be – don’t wait. Just do it.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

Metro journalists select and curate the products that feature on our site. If you make a purchase via links on this page we will earn commission – learn more

Looking to tackle skin redness, dullness and uneven tone? Trinny London has just released a brand-new daily serum designed to give you show-off worthy skin – and fast.

Coined ‘vitamin C on steroids’ by Trinny Woodall herself, the Trinny London Naked Ambition serum is designed to help you wake up to a consistently even, radiant complexion.

Ideal for those looking to supercharge their morning skincare routine, the serum is already being described as ‘transformative’ by impressed users as it tackles redness and dullness in as little as 14 days.

So much more than vitamin C, the Naked Ambition serum combines slow-release vitamin C with an azelaic acid exosome delivery system for gradual, effective results throughout the day.

You’re left with skin that is consistently even and radiant, with a reduction in redness and dark marks.

Trinny London Naked Ambition Serum 30ml

So much more than a vitamin C serum, the Naked Ambition serum combined slow-release vitamin C with an azelaic acid exosome delivery system for gradual, effective results throughout the day. The result is skin that is consistently even and radiant, with a reduction in redness and dark marks.

shop £69

And while you may worry about these two actives playing havoc with your skin (while both are clinically effective, they have been known to irritate the skin), the clever exosome delivery system minimises the risk, keeping your skin upset-free as it transforms your complexion.

Not only this, the advanced, targeted exosome system also works to deliver the 10% azelaic acid up to 20x more effectively into the skin, via the hair follicle.

This unique approach means the azelaic gets straight to where it’s needed most, maximising impact on redness and pigmentation.

Alongside this, Naked Ambition is powered by plankton liposomes and red algae – an intelligent duo that tackles dark spots at their source while enhancing overall skin uniformity.

The result of this global-first cocktail is consistently even, radiant skin, with a reduction in redness and dark marks.

And yes, it really does work.

When tested in three independent clinical studies on 88 women, the serum was clinically proven to transform the skin – evening the tone, boosting radiance and reducing redness in just 14 days. In fact, a whopping 90 per cent of participants saw a more even skin tone in just 14 days.

Better still, in an eight-week user trial on 173 participants, the serum was clinically proven to reduce redness by 46% in six weeks, with 81% seeing more radiant skin in six weeks, too.

Sitting beautifully beneath makeup, the brand recommends using the serum daily in the morning only – apply two pumps to clean face, neck and decollete before your SPF.

And while this supercharged serum has only been out for a few weeks, it’s already gaining rave reviews from users who call it ‘transformative’, adding that it ‘made my complexion so smooth and gave my skin such a healthy, radiant glow’.

‘I have noticed a significant difference in my skin,’ raved one impressed reviewer. ‘Redness has reduced and my skin is more radiant and glowing. It absorbs quickly into my skin and layers easily with other skincare products.’

Another added: ‘Transformative. I have received many compliments on my skin, which now has a healthy, radiant glow that feels as though it shines from within.’

‘I have definitely noticed a lot less redness in my skin, and the skin tone is more even. People have commented on the difference in my skin, that it looks brighter and younger!’ Wrote a third.

Follow Metro across our social channels, on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram

Share your views in the comments below

MORE: ‘Couldn’t feel my legs!’ This Ann Summers sex toy is giving customers the most intense orgasms

MORE: Kim Kardashian’s favourite Armani foundation now has 20% off at LookFantastic

MORE: BHS offering 25% off all outdoor lighting perfect for autumn nights

Metro journalists select and curate the products that feature on our site. If you make a purchase via links on this page we will earn commission – learn more

We weren’t planning on falling in love with another coat this year… but then the high street went and did this.

Yep, M&S has pulled off another show-stopping, affordable fashion moment with its new Textured Belted Longline Trench Coat – and we haven’t stopped thinking about it since it dropped.

The double-breasted, mid-length trench-style jacket in a rich dark chocolate croc-effect finish is easily one of the most luxe looking items on the high street for autumn/winter and we’re obsessed.

Fashion nerds will clock its remarkable resemblance to Stella McCartney’s Crocodile Embossed Trench, a near-identical designer version that will set you back a casual £5,000. 

So when we say that this £90 M&S coat is a steal, we really mean it. 

M&S Collection Textured Belted Longline Trench Coat

Make a statement in this double-breasted trench coat made from luxe croc-textured fabric. Cut in a flattering regular fit with a longline hem, it features a tie belt to cinch the waist and classic buttoned strap cuffs. This standout piece from the M&S Collection is your new go-to for polished autumn layering.

Buy Now for £90

With oversized lapels on its collared neckline, buttoned strap cuffs and a waist-cinching tie belt, it makes any outfit look instantly more expensive. 

It’s the kind of standout coat that’s perfect for layering over cashmere knits and elevating an everyday outfit. 

Not sure how to style it? The on-trend chocolate brown hue makes it wearable with all your black, cream, camel and burgundy items. 

Dress it up with a black cocktail dress and knee-high boots or down with a pair of wide-leg jeans, a cream knit and trainers. 

Yep, we’re calling it now – this is the coat to buy for autumn/winter. 

Just don’t hesitate to add to basket because we’re predicting the fashion crowd to cotton-on to this absolutely bargain pretty sharpish. And we wouldn’t want you missing out now, would we?

Follow Metro across our social channels, on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram

Share your views in the comments below

MORE: From H&M boots to Mango coats – here’s everything our shopping expert is buying this weekend

MORE: Steal Melania’s style with the best high street trench coats for autumn

MORE: Trench coats never go out of fashion – but M&S’s new design is a must have

Resident agony aunt Coleen Nolan has advice for a frustrated reader who’s been seeing someone new but is confused over his lack of communication and what it means

‘Is there anything else you’d like to ask?’, the surgeon queried.  

‘You wanted to ask if your cervix was being removed,’ my husband Chris prompted me. 

It was my final appointment before my extensive endometriosis surgery, which would also see me having a hysterectomy aged 33 after suffering with adenomyosis.  

I’m not even sure if Chris knows what the cervix was, or why I wanted to know if I would lose it along with my uterus and fallopian tubes, but he remembered that it was important to me.

The surgeon turned in his chair, away from me – the person whose life and body were about to change forever – to look my husband squarely in the face and say: ‘I see you’ve read that removing the cervix can impact male sexual pleasure. I’ll leave it in for you if she promises to be good and still get her smears.’

Chris, who had never read anything on the role of the cervix in sexual pleasure, looked at me in a mild state of panic. This was the first time he had just witnessed the medical misogyny I had been telling him about for years and had no idea what he was supposed to say now.  

I, on the other hand, just sat there wearily. This response had almost become expected.

My endometriosis symptoms appeared when I was 11-years-old. I was in excruciating pain and bleeding heavily from my very first period.

My mum, who had endometriosis herself and was able to spot early warning signs, took me to a doctor. I was told it was perfectly normal – ‘just one of those things’ – and advised to go on the pill to sort everything out.  

For the next 22 years, I just about managed but missed school, social occasions and normal teenage life. If I did go out I’d be in agony, terrified that I’d bleed through the period products I was layering up, barely registering what was happening around me.

I saw doctors repeatedly but the outcome was always the same: ‘It’s normal’, they’d say.

Chris and I met in 2010 and he was always attentive, supportive and kind but at first he thought I was ‘just being a bit dramatic’ about my periods. It wasn’t until 2021 that he started to realise that what was happening wasn’t normal – that something was very wrong.   

At that point, after reading the book Period Power, by Maisie Hill, I realised I simply didn’t know what my cycles were like without medical intervention, so, aged 32, I came off the pill for the first time since I was 11.

Within a few months though the debilitating symptoms became daily – I would often vomit and pass out from pain and blood loss.

The only silver lining was that, after getting to that physical and emotional state, a doctor finally listened and, after two decades, I was finally diagnosed with endometriosis and adenomyosis.

It was terrifying how quickly our whole world became these conditions. Chris’s goals, plans and dreams all took second place to my rapidly declining health and I had to close my business, leaving him as the sole financial earner.

I was also near-bedbound for weeks at a time, so he took on almost all household tasks making him a carer for his wife effectively overnight. 

As for our sex life, it all but disappeared as it had become too painful to even contemplate (a common symptom of both endometriosis and adenomyosis). 

In May 2022, I had surgery with a private gynaecologist, who had assured me he would ‘solve the issue’, but the surgeon missed significant disease, including deep infiltrating endometriosis, and an 8x13cm section of disease that put my kidneys at risk of failure. 

So, by the time we sat down with an endometriosis specialist in 2023, my mental health was shattered.

I had tried everything I could to relieve my symptoms – lifestyle changes, increasing amounts of pain relief, hot water bottles that burned my skin – and while decades of hormonal intervention had helped to a degree, it had also enabled the disease to progress unchecked.

I couldn’t see a life beyond pain, and that was not a life I wanted to live anymore. I was desperate.   

That’s when I asked about a hysterectomy.

A hysterectomy is major surgery – especially when coupled with extensive excision of endometriosis – but the surgeon agreed that it was likely the best course of action in my case, despite being in my early 30s.  

By this point, I just wanted my uterus gone. And I was validated when, after the operation, my surgeon told me: ‘We did the right thing at the right time, that was one diseased organ!’ 

Then he turned to Chris: ‘Don’t worry my friend, she’ll be good to go in six weeks’. It felt like the clock had started slowly ticking down to when I would be ‘ready’ to have sex again.

It’s important to add here that no pressure around sex came from Chris. It all stemmed from societal expectations of what a ‘good’ sex life is – boldly underlined by both of my surgeon’s comments. 

For weeks, as I edged closer to that supposedly magical six-week mark, I worried. Would sex be awful now? Would it feel different? For me? For Chris? Would he want me anymore!?  

As it turns out, sex was better – for both of us.

It wasn’t perfect, if that even exists – my pelvic muscles had been in such a state of trauma for so long that it was never going to be solved overnight – but it was no longer an excruciating experience that neither of us wanted to engage in. 

Truthfully, sex is still a consideration over two years after surgery, but both of us have evolved our understanding and enjoyment of sex and intimacy now, which has brought us closer together than ever before.

Life post-hysterectomy is mixed: I was never overly maternal, but I valued my choice and having that option irreversibly taken off the table has been hard emotionally. And, as I write, I am still in pain.

Keep up with the conversations shaping Britain

Hi, I’m Ross McCafferty, Metro’s acting first-person and opinion editor.

Here at Metro, we’re passionate about giving a platform to unheard voices. You can read more real-life stories like this one with our News Updates newsletter.

We help people from all walks of life tell stories that inspire, educate and spark change. Sign up now to read them.

Whilst ridding me of the adenomyosis, a hysterectomy is not a cure for endometriosis and it continues to wreak havoc on my health – my latest MRI shows that there is disease present again on multiple organs, fusing others together, causing daily pain and other symptoms. 

Yet, slowly, Chris and I are moving forward again, working on our sex life on our own timescale and making accommodations for my still unpredictable health, together.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

Share your views in the comments below.