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Coming out as transgender has been a lot like coming out with having multiple sclerosis (MS).

They happened at different stages of my life but have some key similarities: NHS waiting times for treatment, adjusting to a new reality, and even people thinking it was a death sentence!

It’s been a long road to get to where I am today.

There wasn’t one specific day where I realised I was trans. It was like an hourglass, the grains building up over time.

I do have a memory from 1992 of seeing a trailer for a BBC documentary series called A Change of Sex about a woman called Julia Grant; at seven years old, I remember thinking, ‘I’m not the only one!’ I went to bed feeling a lot less alone.

In my teens and early adulthood, I talked to close friends about wanting to transition but feared I’d be disowned or rejected by family and friends.

As I got older, I’d take a change of clothes with me on nights out and do my makeup in nightclub bathrooms. Then, at university, I made some really supportive friends and outings to gay clubs and fetish nights followed.

I started to think more seriously about transitioning when I moved to Manchester in my mid-twenties. I was in a metal band but I’d already changed my name and talked about wanting to transition often enough that it didn’t surprise my bandmates. 

Whenever I thought about the future, I was a woman. Every time I caught sight of myself, my appearance made me sad. I could barely stand to look at myself.

When an old friend asked me if transitioning would help me find the peace he could see I’d never had, it moved me to tears and I quietly nodded ‘yes’.

It took a bit of time for all of my friends and family to come around. There were some negative reactions: Some people acted like I was dying, even though I’d never felt more alive. 

There were also thoughtful and considered responses, too, like those from female friends who congratulated me and asked if I’d like some of their old clothes. Another friend told me that he was aware I would be more vulnerable and if I ever needed any support, he’d be there. I loved him for that.

Unfortunately, I had to wait two years before I was seen at a gender clinic, and it wasn’t easy. I got verbal abuse and glass bottles, rocks and bricks thrown at me from passing cars several times. Twice, I had to run for my life away from gangs of angry lads.

But my transition has been beautiful in many ways: My body has changed, which has been a joy. My skin is much softer and I’d swear my sense of smell has improved.

And back at the start of it, I couldn’t have predicted what my next journey would be. 

In my mid 30s, I started to notice a slight propensity to pee more, then a strange little tingle in my left leg.

I went to the doctors a few times but was passed around. I had scans on my legs, was checked for different infectious diseases, hernias and musculoskeletal disorders, and eventually my case was passed to the neurology service. 

When I finally got a diagnosis of MS (a neurological condition affecting the brain and spinal cord) in 2022 aged 37, it was almost a relief. I felt validated.

MS isn’t curable, but it is treatable – in my case with a disease modifying therapy called ocrelizumab. And because I’d already gone through such a big change in my life 10 years before, I knew what to expect.

I have a type called primary progressive (PPMS), which means my symptoms get worse over time. It has severely impacted my ability to walk and I’m now a full-time wheelchair user, but I’m still able to take a few steps and transfer in and out of my chair.

To an extent, it’s made it more difficult to participate in the LGBTQ+ community, as a lot of it revolves around drinking, which I now can’t do. Even if I wanted to go to bars and not drink, they’re often not wheelchair accessible.

But being disabled and trans has brought so many positives to my life. It has deepened my relationships – I’ve learned more about empathy and solidarity than I ever thought I would and my nearest and dearest demonstrate them to me every day.

I’ve always loved to cook but I can’t stay on my feet while kneading, frying or chopping so one of my partners will do that while I keep an eye on the hob and the recipe. 

My other partner gives me daily knee and ankle massages as these are my most affected areas. It helps to prevent leg spasms that would otherwise keep me awake.

I think about intersectionality a lot.

A trans person in a wheelchair may have a very different experience of interacting with the NHS or the police if they have darker skin, for example. I host a podcast called What the Trans, which calls out misinformation in the media and offers people empowering tools to take action.

I also recently hosted a podcast series for the MS Society about living with PPMS. It was validating to hear stories of people with PPMS as we only make up 10-15% of everyone with the condition. Again I thought, ‘Thank god for that, I’m not the only one’.

It was also interesting to hear how vastly different MS can be for everyone; I talked to people whose symptoms were radically different from mine, like someone whose MS began in their vision, rather than in their legs.

In the podcast, you can also hear a conversation between me and Dr Cora Sargeant who is also trans, and has MS and a podcast! What are the chances?

I don’t know exactly how the rest of my life will look but I remind myself that the one constant in the universe is change.

Resident agony aunt Coleen Nolan has advice for a mother of the bride who’s upset she will miss her daughter’s big day because she can’t leave her poorly sister

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With summer just around the corner, we are desperately shopping for new dresses before they sell out. We need ones to wear everyday, on holiday, as a beach cover up, to the office, destination weddings and summer parties.

Speaking of, we think we have found the perfect number. 

We stumbled across PLT’s Dark Red Floral Corset A Line Shift Dress, which we think is uber feminine and flattering.  As we continued our hunt for new wardrobe staples, we then came across Faithfull The Brand’s Sanne Mini Dress in Colette, and the similarity is undeniable. 

Pretty Little Thing’s creation fetches £36, whereas the designer alternative will set you back £250, so of course we’re leaning towards PLT’s creation to save us over £200. 

Dark Red Floral Corset A Line Shift Dress

Crafted from a polyester and elastane blend. This mini dress boasts a square neckline and back, thick shoulder straps, a corset bodice, and an A-line mini skirt.Available in dress sizes 4 to 16. It also comes in other colourways.

BUY NOW FOR £36

Sanne Mini Dress Colette

The Sanne Mini Dress is hugely popular, and has almost sold out.Crafted from European flax linen fabric that is free from chemicals, and is a lightweight and breathable material in a vintage floral print.It boasts a low scooped neckline, thin shoulder straps, a fitted bodice, and lantern-cut skirt. Available in three prints, though stock is selling fast.

BUY NOW FOR £250

The Dark Red Floral Corset A Line Shift Dress attracted our attention not only because it is an affordable alternative to Faithfull The Brand’s premium option, but it is super flattering, and comes in an array of bold prints. 

The dress boasts a square neckline, and back, thick shoulder straps, and a flattering corset bodice, which cinches in your waist before the A-line mini skirt flares out. It hugs you in all the right places, and creates the most flattering silhouette.

This shape bears likeness to the Sanne Mini Dress, which features a low scooped neckline and a fitted body, while the mini skirt offers a straight cut, which has been described as a ‘lantern shape’, as it is not super figure hugging, but not too exaggerated either. Plus the dress is mini in length and falls midway down the thigh.  However, the Sanne dress has thinner straps than the PLT version, and we prefer the latter for extra security. 

The Sanne Mini Dress has been cleverly designed with dart detail along the waist to cinch in the upper body to create the corset illusion.  

This design has been crafted from eco-conscious European flax linen in a vintage floral print, and has cotton lining for comfort and added structure. 

Both mini dresses come in a floral print, and we think the Colette version of the Sanne dress with its multi-coloured botanical pattern is similar to PLT’s romantic design.  However, Faithfull The Brand has also created a blue and white floral print version, known as Cecile, as well as a blue baroque print, Aurora. 

The Aurora and Colette styles of the Sanne dress have almost sold out. So, if you are looking for a similar alternative, and one to save you a few extra pounds, the PLT version is a chic substitute we think looks more premium than its price tag. 

Whether you opt for the designer or affordable online retailer’s dress, these creations lend themselves to the summer party season, festivals and have a place in our holiday wardrobe.  Pull out a colour from the dresses to match your kitten heel thong sandals with, opt for a block heel sandal, or wedge, or opt for a Western boot this festival season.  You just watch the compliments come flooding in.

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The first thing I noticed was a metallic taste in my mouth. 

I was 14 and this taste just came out of nowhere, and could last anywhere from a few hours to a few days.

With no clue what it was, I put it down to it being that time of the month. 

Then, in April 2021, my granddad passed away. It really impacted me and caused a lot of anxiety to build up.

Suddenly, the metallic taste was just one symptom of many that came on at once: I started noticing shock feelings, like when you get a jump scare, and a sense of deja-vu.

I would notice it, then forget what triggered it less than a second later, all the time thinking: What have I just seen?

The crying started soon after. A favourite show or song tends to bring out a bit of emotion in all of us but whenever Demons by Imagine Dragons came on I would cry really, really deeply.

My family would repeatedly ask me what was wrong but I could only ever tell them that I didn’t know.

Eventually, they started to ignore it. Without any explanation for my weird symptoms, I acted as if nothing was happening.

It wasn’t until September 2021 when I was on holiday with my mum and sister that I had deja-vu, and a feeling like I was on a roller coaster with a wave rolling through my chest. The feelings were familiar by this point but I noticed they were going on and on.

When my hands and toes started tensing and tingling, I panicked. 

Mum came out, I sat down and then must have been unconscious – I remember waking up and being really confused as Mum told me I’d had a seizure.

We drove to hospital and I had another 15 seizures along the way.

It was actually a bit of a relief to get diagnosed with epilepsy.

After an MRI scan and an EEG – during which I had a seizure – I met my neurologist. She asked about shock feelings, deja-vu, the metallic taste, and mood swings, getting really angry or randomly crying. It was like she was explaining the past six months of my life. I finally understood.

For Sarah

Last year, on March 10, we lost our beloved colleague Sarah Whiteley. Sarah was a fantastic journalist; she was Metro’s parenting columnist and a valued member of our first-person and opinion desk.

Sarah died aged 39 from SUDEP – sudden unexpected death in epilepsy. It is thought that every year around 1,000 people die from causes related to epilepsy.

With support from Sarah’s family, Metro is fundraising for two very important charities: SUDEP Action and Epilepsy Action.

Sarah was so incredible at helping other people share their experiences; she was a born storyteller and we hope to do her proud with this series, while raising money in her memory.

I now know I have focal seizures. They are largely controlled by medication but it took a long time to get my dose right. 

Being diagnosed with epilepsy at 15 meant I lost a lot of friends. They thought my condition meant I couldn’t do anything anymore, and they were scared of what would happen if I had a seizure when we were out – so I just wasn’t invited. 

I understand it’s not an easy thing to process and yes, I’ve got this disability, but I can still do things like a normal person. 

One of the hardest things to deal with has been the mood swings. While my medication was being adjusted, I would get irritated really easily. It was like a devil hopped into my brain and took control of my body.

I’d ruin things in my bedroom, or I’d self-harm. Afterwards I’d look back and think, what the hell has just happened?  

The one phrase I came back to over and over again was: Don’t punish yourself, because this is not me – these are not the sorts of things I do.

I’ve found that reading, doing jigsaws and playing games on my phone really help me when I’m feeling anxious. My family are really supportive but they know when to give me space.

Another challenge is being unable to drive. I had to stop learning after three lessons because I had a seizure, and for my type of seizures, UK law requires that you’re 12 months seizure-free to drive.

A lot of people I know can drive now; I see them driving past my window while I’m isolated inside. My dad bought me a car for my birthday; looking at it without being able to touch it has really affected me. 

Today, I’m at college studying health and social care. Having epilepsy has made me want to work with people with the same condition.

I still suffer from a lot of social anxiety – I’ve become very shy and don’t socialise or talk to people much because of the experiences of being excluded I’ve had in the past. I don’t want to have to go through that again. 

But I want young people to know that it is possible to feel normal again after an epilepsy diagnosis, to feel like you fit in instead of being the odd one out who’s got this problem. 

It takes time to be able to feel like ‘you’ again, but it’s possible. You’ll get better, you’ll find the things that help you to cope. 

It’s the kind of motivation that I wish I’d had. 

As told to Rosy Edwards

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

Share your views in the comments below.

Cancer. Two liver transplants. Sepsis. A pulmonary haemorrhage. Multiple organ failure. A tracheotomy. Three months in an induced coma. A stroke and four mini strokes.

And that’s the condensed list of what I’ve been through.

At 22, I know that I am very young to have experienced all that and it all feels quite unbelievable when you write it down.

It all started when I was two and I began getting poorly with severe nosebleeds, a swollen belly and yellowing of my skin and eyes.

My parents took me to hospital and I was diagnosed with hepatoblastoma, a type of liver cancer. It must have been so scary for them knowing their first child was so ill – I can’t imagine how they must have felt.

I had chemotherapy initially, and was eventually given a liver transplant.

But after eight years, my body rejected the organ. All my symptoms came back, and I was put into an induced coma for nearly three months and given an adult liver instead.

Shortly after the transplant, I went into multiple organ failure as I caught a virus. My body was shutting down and I was put on support including dialysis and life support machines.

During those three months, I also developed sepsis, which caused severe bleeding in the mouth. My parents were told on four separate occasions that they should start planning my funeral.

I came out of the coma and it was a long slow recovery over several months, and I was eventually allowed to go home in 2014, aged 11 but just after getting back, I had a stroke.

I was rushed back to hospital where they said the stroke had been caused by high blood pressure due to the ongoing treatment.

I was put back on the machines to monitor everything and I didn’t leave the hospital for 18 months and then the rehabilitation centre for another six months – this took me from age 11 to 13.

My sisters were brought out of school and my whole family lived near the hospital during that time – my dad was going to and from work from there.

I needed to be in intensive care to give me the support I needed; during that time, my family were told I might not be able to walk or talk again.

I had to re-learn how to do everything – and I couldn’t remember anything at all.

In fact, I still don’t remember anything from before the stroke. I don’t have any memories from before age 11.

For that reason, I think, my memories from that time in hospital are especially clear – and they’re not all happy. Far from it.

I do remember the first taste I had of an ice lolly, which was an amazing sensation, but so many other things were tough.

It was such a painful process, physically and mentally, learning to walk again. 

I missed so much school too, and being away for so long affected all my friendships. I still find I get on with people who are several decades older than me better than I do with people my own age, because I got so used to adult company.

Eventually, in Jan 2016, I was able to walk out of the rehabilitation centre – an amazing feeling – and I began to go back to school.

I was 13, so I went into Year 9. It was a shock to the system, but I made a good group of friends and I really enjoyed being there after everything I had been through. I was still in and out of hospital but I tried to make my life as normal as I could.

But it wasn’t plain sailing. Until I was aged 16, I had mini strokes, one of which caused epilepsy and that I’m on life-long medication for now.

I hated the seizures. I would get symptoms three days before, going light-headed and dizzy, and really tired. After the seizure had happened, it was like my body was resetting and I would still be tired and I couldn’t get my words out.

Back then, I needed a lot of care; but I’m at a point where I haven’t had a seizure since I was 16.

Now, I am as healthy as I possibly can be after all I have been through – although my hip and knee are damaged, because my stroke happened when I was growing and it affected my development, so I need joint replacements, which will happen at some point in the future.

My parents were always told the chemo had affected my chances of having a child so, when I fell pregnant at 18, it was certainly a surprise.

I’d also always known that, if it did happen, I would be a high-risk pregnancy.

After I did the pregnancy test, I actually told my nurse at the hospital before I told my mum as I wanted to get their advice first. 

I was worried to tell Mum, more because of how young I was than because of any health concerns, but I did. She was shocked at first, but she is a brilliant grandmother.

Thankfully everything was OK with me and I gave birth to a healthy baby daughter, before falling pregnant again just six months later. Tallulah is two now and Otillie is one – they are my world.

In November, I will be seizure-free for six years and I have the go-ahead for a driving licence so I am in the process of getting that, which is really exciting.

I still have to take my seizure and transplant medication every day at 8am to keep my liver working and stop seizures, and then I take the seizure medication at 8pm in the evening too, but this is my daily routine and I don’t know anything different. It’s not something I really think about, especially as I am now so busy just being a mum.

As I might not have been able to have children, the girls feel even more special. My daughters and I live by ourselves and I have help from my family and my neighbours, who are brilliant. I think I have done pretty well and, even at the peak of tiredness as a mum, I still feel so lucky.

It’s a privilege to be my daughters’ mum. They can be mischievous at times, but I wouldn’t change them for the world.

Everyone calls me a walking miracle – and now I have two amazing daughters. We’re three miracles together.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

Share your views in the comments below.

A woman has opened up about how dressing and acting like a puppy with her partner has improved her mental health, saying that it helps her to leave human stresses behind

Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the whole point of Prosecco its bubbles?

Apparently not, as Aldi has just launch a first-of-its-kind supermarket Prosecco… minus the fizz. The bubble-less drink is called Costellore Still Prosecco DOC and it retails for just £5.99.

I managed to get an early taste and I’m going to give you my honest opinion so you know whether or not to get some in for the bank holiday.

I’ll be honest, at this very point of writing, a bottle is chilling down in my fridge but I haven’t opened it yet. I’m stalling because I suspect it’s going to taste like cold, flat Prosecco and I’m not sure how I’m going to feel about that. What if it’s more Pro-heck-no than Prosecco?

I’m concerned because Prosecco’s whole modus operandum is delivering that vibrant froth that tickles your tongue like an apple and pear-flavoured cream soda. So much so, that I’ve heard Prosecco of being called everything from ‘party diesel’, ‘electric tinkle’, ‘corked chaos’, ‘giggle water’, ‘Satan’s sparkles’ to ‘tickle spit’. Don’t ask me about that last one.

My point is, the common denominators all refer to having fun with bubbles, without which, there’s no spit, sparkle, Satan or tinkle. It’ll be like Prosecco, but broken. My fizzy wine won’t be, well, fizzy wine-ing. Capiche?

Interestingly, Prosecco does actually start out as a white wine before they create the bubbles (by adding more yeast). So, I suppose it’s just one less process for the winemaker, hence the lower price.

Sparkling or not though, any wine with ‘Prosecco’ on the label must be made from a grape called Glera, grown in the legally-designated region of Prosecco. This stunning region is a UNESCO World Heritage Site, a mere 45 minutes north of Venice by car. The wine itself must also be produced there, otherwise it can’t legally be called ‘Prosecco’. It would be called ‘Glera Spumante’ after the name of the grape, which isn’t nearly as catchy.  

Regular Prosecco, which we all know and many of us love, is made by first pressing Glera grapes, adding yeast and fermenting it into a white wine. The bubbles are introduced via a second fermentation in a pressurised, stainless steel tank called an ‘autoclave’. On the whole, there’s zero ageing (one of the ways it’s very different to Champagne) and that’s why we see so much of it around.

Aldi's other new releases…

Still Prosecco isn’t the only unusual drink Aldi has launched of late. They’ve also released what has been described as ‘a coffee-style red wine’.

A what, now?

It’s called Macchiato Pinotage and it sells for £7.99, the clue to its style is very firmly in the name.

I’m all for coffee notes in a red wine, especially when its accompanied by sweet tobacco flavours in a Primitivo from Puglia, for example.

No hate, but this red has had its coffee flavours fast-tracked via oak staves and blocks added to the wine, rather than through the oak barrel gently leeching into the wine over time.

The result? Sadly, it has a harshly burnt flavour from the oak’s dominance, which is a shame as the basis is a guzzlesome, plummy red.

Full disclosure, I’m not a fan of bog-standard Prosecco DOC. I find it cloyingly sweet and simple in flavour and texture. Character assassination over. However, I am a fan of any Prosecco with the words Conegliano Valdobbiadene Prosecco Superiore DOCG on the label, meaning that the grapes have come from a tiny, hilly part of the region, making far more elevated (literally, some vineyards are over 1,500m above sea level) sparkling wines.

Putting how much we love Prosecco over here in the UK into perspective, over 660 million bottles are produced every year, with the UK glugging 36% of the total production. That’s around 131 million bottles annually, so we’re a bunch of greedy guzzle gannets for the stuff. Basically then, there’s a lot for this bubble-less Prosecco to live up to. You could say that it has big bubbles to fill.

The verdict

This looks like a lemon-yellow-coloured white wine, because it is.

It’s made from the regular DOC grapes, but the lack of bubbles has given it an elegance and finesse a bubbly version of the same quality level could never achieve.

It’s bone dry and lively with flavours of lime, nectarine and tangerine.

Not only is it a brilliant talking point, I’m a huge fan of the flavour, the price and will be stocking up over the summer.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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If you don’t know the acronym LBD, we’ll assume you’ve been living under a rock.

Though there is a grey area over whether LBD means little black dress or long black dress, but we’ll leave you to debate that one. For this piece, we’re taking it to mean the latter. 

M&S has impressed us in recent years with its stylish pieces, and has shed its stereotype that the brand was solely for the mature woman – aka our mums and grandmothers.  But that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

Our virtual basket is filled to the brim, and one staple we are snapping up before it sells out is the M&S Pure Cotton Round Neck Midi Waisted Dress, which fetches £45.  In our opinion, it is the perfect summer dress we intend to wear on rotation this season. 

M&S Pure Cotton Round Neck Midi Waisted Dress

Crafted from pure cotton, this lightweight and versatile dress is ultra flattering.It boasts a fitted bodice, round neckline, and floaty A-line skirt that falls midway down the calf. Available in petite, regular and tall, as well as UK dress sizes 6 to 24.

BUY NOW FOR £45

The Pure Cotton Round Neck Midi Waisted Dress is oh-so chic and versatile, which is why it gets our vote of confidence. 

The design boasts a round neck, is sleeveless, and has a fitted bodice, which is ultra flattering.  The cinched-in waist beautifully contrasts the voluminous A-line puff skirt, which falls midway down the calves. Plus, it features button fastening on the back to secure the dress in place. 

The higher neck, combined with the midi-length skirt, provides coverage, and makes this design ideal for wearing to the office, and more formal events too.

The pure cotton fabric is ultra lightweight, breathable and comfortable for hours of wear – especially in the warmer weather. Plus, it is easy to wash at a 40 degree temperature. 

We can’t wait to wear this staple all summer long. We will pair with ballet pumps and a denim jacket, maybe even layer a tight t-shirt underneath on those slightly fresh summer days.

If we’re looking for an even more casual look we would style with sandals, perhaps trainers, and a denim jacket. This dress will also see you through any summer parties, weddings, and other formal events styled with wedges or kitten heel thong sandals and jazzy accessories. 

For £45 we think this dress is an absolute steal, especially when we think about the styling options and all the events in our calendar we can wear this number. It’s a timeless staple we know we will bring out every summer, and holiday season for that matter.

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